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As long as I can remember, I've had amnesia. KSHMEDIA
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As soon as the stewardess serves the coffee, the airline encounters turbulence. KSHMEDIA
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Be nice to your kids. They'll choose your nursing home. KSHMEDIA
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Better to understand a little than to misunderstand a lot
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Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. KSHMEDIA
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Budget: A method for going broke methodically. KSHMEDIA
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An old man and woman were married for years even though they hated each other. When they had a confrontation, screams and yelling could be heard deep into the night. A constant statement was heard by the neighbors who feared the man the most.
"When I die I will dig my way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life!" They believed he practiced black magic and was responsible for missing cats and dogs, and strange sounds at all hours. He was feared and enjoyed the respect it garnished. He died abruptly under strange circumstances and the funeral had a closed casket. After the burial, the wife went straight to the local bar and began to party as if there was no tomorrow. The gaiety of her actions were becoming extreme while her neighbors approached in a group to ask these questions: Are you not afraid? Concerned? Worried? that this man who practiced black magic and stated when he died he would dig his way up and out of the grave to come back and haunt you for the rest of your life? The wife put down her drink and said, "Let the jerk dig. I had him buried upside down." sid275 |
Bugs are Sons of Glitches!
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Car service: If it ain't broke, we'll break it. KSHMEDIA
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A young man and his date were parked on a back road some distance from town. They were about to have sex when the girl stopped.
"I really should have mentioned this earlier, but I'm actually a hooker and I charge $20 for sex." The man reluctantly paid her, and they did their thing. After a cigarette, the man just sat in the driver's seat looking out the window. "Why aren't we going anywhere?" asked the girl. "Well, I should have mentioned this before, but I'm actually a taxi driver, and the fare back to town is $25..." sid275 |
Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine. KSHMEDIA
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Choose heaven for climate, hell for society. KSHMEDIA
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"I am a person who recognizes the fallacy of humans."?Oprah, Sept. 19, 2000
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Common sense is the collection of prejudices acquired by age 18 KSHMEDIA
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They want the federal government controlling Social Security like it's some kind of federal program."?St. Charles, Mo., Nov. 2, 2000
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Confusion not only reigns, it pours. KSHMEDIA
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"Ariel Sharon of Israel is a Man of Peace". George W. Bush
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"General Musharraf of Pakistan is a Democrat". George W. Bush sid275
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"What I am against is quotas. I am against hard quotas, quotas they basically delineate based upon whatever. However they delineate, quotas, I think vulcanize society. So I don't know how that fits into what everybody else is saying, their relative positions, but that's my position.'' ?George W. Bush, in Jan. 2000
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"The inhabitants of Greece are Greecians". George W. Bush
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"The vast majority of our imports come from outside the country". George W.Bush
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"I have made good judgements in the past. I have made good judgements in the future". George W. Bush
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The future will be better tomorrow". George W. Bush sid275
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