Ten Commandments of Marriage - GoFuckYourself.com

JDog · 06-23-2004, 04:17 PM

Commandment 1.
Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning.

Commandment 2.
If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word
you say, talk in your sleep.

Commandment 3.
Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand!

Commandment 4.
Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the
man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks
and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the
neighbours listen.

Commandment 5.
When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is.

Commandment 6.
Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when
they try to decide which one.

Commandment 7.
Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something
you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish.

Commandment 8.
Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and
a good cook. But the law allows only one wife.

Commandment 9.
Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife
treats husband like toxic waste.

Commandment 10.
A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished..

Bonus Commandment story.
A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over,
made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish
too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The
wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled,
"Wow! This stuff really works!"

DavieVegas · 06-23-2004, 04:20 PM

Quote:

Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law only allows one wife

amen brutha man

MiSsBeHeaDReSs · 06-23-2004, 04:22 PM

punker barbie · 06-23-2004, 04:24 PM

word of advice:

DONT GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

and if you do make shir to get a prenuptial agreement!!!!!

gleem · 06-23-2004, 04:27 PM

the best marriage type joke I've heard:

Quote:

A man and a woman, who have never met before, find themselves assigned to
the same sleeping room on a transcontinental train.

Though initially embarrassed and uneasy over sharing a room, the two are
tired and fall asleep quickly...he in the upper bunk and she in the lower.

At 1:00 AM, he leans over and gently wakes the woman saying, "Ma'am, I'm sorry to bother you, but would you be willing to reach into the closet to get me a second blanket? I'm awfully cold."

"I have a better idea," she replies. "Just for tonight, let's pretend that
we're married."

"Wow! That's a great idea!!" he exclaims.

"Good," she replies. "Get your own damn blanket!"

After a moment of silence, he farted

JDog · 06-23-2004, 04:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by punker barbie
and if you do make shir to get a prenuptial agreement!!!!!

That is my plan when I do get married.

jDoG

06-23-2004, 04:17 PM	#1
JDog Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Canby, OR Posts: 7,453	Ten Commandments of Marriage Commandment 1. Marriages are made in heaven. But so again, are thunder and lightning. Commandment 2. If you want your wife to listen and pay strict attention to every word you say, talk in your sleep. Commandment 3. Marriage is grand -- and divorce is at least 100 grand! Commandment 4. Married life is very frustrating. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the neighbours listen. Commandment 5. When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can be sure of one thing: Either the car is new or the wife is. Commandment 6. Marriage is when a man and woman become as one; The trouble starts when they try to decide which one. Commandment 7. Before marriage, a man will lie awake all night thinking about something you say. After marriage, he will fall asleep before you finish. Commandment 8. Every man wants a wife who is beautiful, understanding, economical, and a good cook. But the law allows only one wife. Commandment 9. Marriage and love are purely matter of chemistry. That is why wife treats husband like toxic waste. Commandment 10. A man is incomplete until he is married. After that, he is finished.. Bonus Commandment story. A long married couple came upon a wishing well. The wife leaned over, made a wish and threw in a penny. The husband decided to make a wish too. But he leaned over too much, fell into the well, and drowned. The wife was stunned for a moment but then smiled, "Wow! This stuff really works!" __________________ NSCash now powering ReelProfits.com ALSO FEATURING: NSCash.com :: SoloDollars.com :: ReelProfits.com :: BiminiBucks.com :: VOD PROGRAMS COMING SOON: Greedy Bucks :: Vengeance Cash NOW OFFERING OVER 60 SITES CONTACT :: JAMES SMITH :: CHIEF TECHNOLOGY OFFICER :: ICQ (711385133)

06-23-2004, 04:22 PM	#3
MiSsBeHeaDReSs Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: I'm the girl next door ;) ICQ~ 338579597 Posts: 534	__________________ Why geeks like computers: unzip, strip, touch, finger, grep, mount, fsck, ram, more, yes,fsck,fsck,fsck,umount, sleep.

06-23-2004, 04:24 PM	#4
punker barbie Meow Meow!!! Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: San Diego, California Posts: 10,228	word of advice: DONT GET MARRIED!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! and if you do make shir to get a prenuptial agreement!!!!! __________________ Chaturbate Affiliate Support: [email protected]