If MaCafee and Norton were brick and mortar businesses (SATIRE)

[Snake Doctor]

The all new macafee interstate security system.

Now you can enjoy your drive down the interstate without having to see all those annoying billboard advertisements. Our new technology will remove them from the roadway for you so that you can commute to work without being bothered by those pesky ads.

The new Norton Newspaper Inoculator

That's right, now you can read your favorite newspaper with all of the ads removed. No more full page car dealer ads to get in the way of your scanning the obituaries for people you know.

Also, check out the package deal with our Magazine Manipulator.
(warning, without the ads the average magazine will only be about 25 pages)

For those of you who prefer to watch and listen instead of reading, check out our new Airwave Annihalator

We'll block all the commercials from your TV and radio programs and forward you directly to the next segment of the program.
But wait, that's not all, if you act now we'll also include Movie Master 2.0 which will automatically delete all of the previews from the reel of any major motion picture you go to see in the theater, PLUS we'll remove all those pesky movie posters from the wall advertising the movies that are coming soon.

And for those of you who love to shop, our new and improved Cookie Crumbler
The next time you go to buy a house or a car, our new technology will remove the salesperson's name from all of your paperwork so that they'll get NO COMMISSION. You can buy anything you want and no one will ever know who sold it to you. (After all, doesn't that violate your privacy?)

Also, in our next version we'll have a new pop-upsell blocker. When the McDonald's worker asks if you'd like fries with that, we'll choke him so the words won't come out, and god help him if he offers to supersize your meal for 39 cents more.
We'll also remove the candy racks from the checkout counters at your favorite grocery store (which means no more screaming kids)

Plus 100's of other features not listed here.
Don't wait, ACT NOW!!
After all, newspapers, magazines, television and radio stations aren't entitled to generate advertising revenue just because you happen to watch their programming or read their publications.
And god forbid a salesperson actually gets credit for selling you something, you have a right to an advertising free life and that's what we're here to provide you with.

[Snake Doctor]

bizzump for the morning crew

[Cyborg 2.0]

hahaha

[ytcracker]

funny stuff