A man walking his son in the park one day came upon two dogs humpin' The son turns to his dad and asks, ?Dad what are those dogs doing?? The dad says, ?Son I'm about to teach you a very important thing about life, what them dogs are doing is??
The father can't do it. He thinks of all the questions his son will have. He tries again, ?Son them two dogs are?? He stops again and decides to wait until the boy is older.
?Son, you see that dog on top, well his two front paws are hurt and that dog on the bottom is helping him home.? The son turns to his father and says, ?You're right dad, that is a very important thing in life to learn.? The dad asks, ?Do you know why that is, son??
The son replies, ?Because every time you try to help someone out you always get screwed.?
A man went to England on a trip and met a woman there, they grew to like each other enough for her to come to America with the man on his flight home. When they got back to America the man said, ?I would like to show you an American pastime: baseball.?
So the next day the man took her to a baseball game. The first man came up to the plate and hit the ball to right field and got to first base, the next man bunted the ball and got to first base, and the third man came up to the plate and got walked. The man said, ?Are you understanding this game??
The woman answered, ?Yes, but what I don't understand is why the thrower hurls the ball at the first man and he hits it. Then he hurls the ball at the second man and he taps it and runs to where the other man was standing. And then the third man, this is the part I don't understand, the thrower hurls the ball and he just stand there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there, and he hurls the ball at him again and he just stands there then he just walks to the place where the other man was standing.?
Then the man says, ?Well that is because he has four balls.?
The woman says, ?Poor thing! He couldn't run if he tried.?
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