Gotta Love the US Judicial System - GoFuckYourself.com

kristin · 06-03-2004, 08:09 PM

It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards.

The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States.

This year's awards go to:

5th place (Tied).

Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son.

5th place (Tied).

19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps.

5th place (Tied).

Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000.

4th place.

Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun.

3rd place.

A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument.

2nd place.

Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses.

1st Place.

This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma.

Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this.

The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete m----s buying their recreational vehicles.

merlin77 · 06-03-2004, 08:17 PM

I love it! You break and enter? We'll reward you. You steal hubcaps? Damn asshole for running over your hand, we'll reward you. Can't control your kid? Well, lets just give you some money for your troubles. This is priceless!!!! My favorite however is the #1 winner, what moron thinks cruise control is an automatic pilot? Did he not realize that he bought a winnebego and not an airplane? Congrats to the jury's of America!

kristin · 06-03-2004, 08:20 PM

That's not the first time I have heard of someone doing that with an RV. This one lady and her husband bought an RV, they packed it up and started their trip. The husband was more tired than he thought from packing up the RV, so she offered to drive. She got hungry, put it in cruise control, and went to make sandwiches. It went about a mile down the road before it hit something, I can't quite remember. Why? The dealer told her "it practically drives itself."

directfiesta · 06-03-2004, 08:29 PM

lawyers make a bundle on these cases....

only in USA!

skinnay · 06-03-2004, 08:35 PM

the boyfriend must have laughed his ass off when the girl slipped on the drink, well at least untill she got the money..

Mr. Marks · 06-03-2004, 08:44 PM

man, thats a load of shit. and if you think that our justice system is screwed up, check out the system in developing countries. youd be so grateful--many court cases there dont get solved at all. justice lies in the streets. theres this one place i know where if youre a drug addict, youll get killed. just like that. the city wont tolerate you. fucked up, huh?

Spunky · 06-03-2004, 08:47 PM

Only in America....un fucking believable

Gheenz · 06-03-2004, 08:49 PM

It's no wonder so many people love this country and want to come here...there's so many ways to rip it off!

We need the vigilantes, to hit these people over the head for being jackasses, and serve up some real justice.

TheDoc · 06-03-2004, 09:03 PM

A person wins something like that you might as well go the next level and take a bat to them.. That shit is fucked up.

Webby · 06-03-2004, 09:03 PM

I think all of that stuff is just too sad for words :-(

Although there are many very well qualified and honorable people within the US legal system, - there is also an incredible amount of utter fools who have not the first clue of any form of "justice" and even attempt to divert "real justice" for their own agendas.

I suppose that what happens when prosecutors are "democratically" elected and have further ambitions to be "something political" in their future careers. Some call them prosecutors - others could justifiably call them assholes.

There are also the same idiots of defense teams.

Add to that the fact that the "Justice Department" is really another extension of the "party of the day" and oozes political agenda's and "sometimes" justice.

I can't see much further than it being a totally corrupt system, tho - there are decent people working within it.

A lot of this conduct would not be tolerated in any other western country - it's just too extreme and "illegal"!

BigFish · 06-03-2004, 09:03 PM

Only on GFY do people believe EVERYTHING they read on the internet: http://snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

gregtx · 06-03-2004, 09:07 PM

I honestly think this is internet folklore... but it did make for an entertaining read

gregtx · 06-03-2004, 09:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by BigFish
Only on GFY do people believe EVERYTHING they read on the internet: http://snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

haha.. guess my "opinion" was correct

steve90 · 06-03-2004, 09:13 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gregtx
I honestly think this is internet folklore... but it did make for an entertaining read

Webby · 06-03-2004, 09:35 PM

BigFish:

Quote:

Only on GFY do people believe EVERYTHING they read on the internet: http://snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

Whether snopes.com is anything remotely near any accuracy, it matters not. Just look at some cases happening daily - there are plenty very similar to that "cut and paste".

I've never bothered reading stuff like snopes - you just have to open your eyes and it's not hard to miss it!

Hell.. we even have "trial by TV" with "celeb lawyers" discussing details of trials, even before they have even started! "!!

It's not a pretty site!!

Totally fucked "justice"!!

gregtx · 06-03-2004, 09:39 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Webby
BigFish:

Whether snopes.com is anything remotely near any accuracy, it matters not. Just look at some cases happening daily - there are plenty very similar to that "cut and paste".

I've never bothered reading stuff like snopes - you just have to open your eyes and it's not hard to miss it!

Hell.. we even have "trial by TV" with "celeb lawyers" discussing details of trials, even before they have even started! "!!

It's not a pretty site!! Totally fucked "justice"!!

shhhhh... rene will start with his conspiracy theorys

Webby · 06-03-2004, 09:44 PM

gregtx:

Quote:

shhhhh... rene will start with his conspiracy theorys

OK then!!!

06-03-2004, 08:17 PM	#2
merlin77 Confirmed User Join Date: May 2004 Location: Vancouver,BC Posts: 546	I love it! You break and enter? We'll reward you. You steal hubcaps? Damn asshole for running over your hand, we'll reward you. Can't control your kid? Well, lets just give you some money for your troubles. This is priceless!!!! My favorite however is the #1 winner, what moron thinks cruise control is an automatic pilot? Did he not realize that he bought a winnebego and not an airplane? Congrats to the jury's of America! __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

06-03-2004, 08:20 PM	#3
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	That's not the first time I have heard of someone doing that with an RV. This one lady and her husband bought an RV, they packed it up and started their trip. The husband was more tired than he thought from packing up the RV, so she offered to drive. She got hungry, put it in cruise control, and went to make sandwiches. It went about a mile down the road before it hit something, I can't quite remember. Why? The dealer told her "it practically drives itself." __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

06-03-2004, 08:29 PM	#4
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,687	lawyers make a bundle on these cases.... only in USA! __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

06-03-2004, 08:35 PM	#5
skinnay Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: NEW YORK CITY Posts: 2,274	the boyfriend must have laughed his ass off when the girl slipped on the drink, well at least untill she got the money.. __________________ Make Real Green with ORGANIC SEO \| Blog post exchange \| Non-index page trades \| A-B C-D Trades [icq: 194-215-962] [mail: [email protected]]

06-03-2004, 08:47 PM	#7
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Only in America....un fucking believable __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

06-03-2004, 08:09 PM	#1
kristin GOO! Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Back Home : ) Posts: 9,768	Gotta Love the US Judicial System It's once again time to review the winners of the annual Stella Awards. The Stellas are named after 81 year old Stella Liebeck who spilled coffee on herself and successfully sued McDonald's. That case inspired the Stella Awards for the most frivolous successful lawsuits in the United States. This year's awards go to: 5th place (Tied). Kathleen Robertson of Austin, Texas was awarded $780,000 by a jury of her peers after breaking her ankle tripping over a toddler who was running inside a furniture store. The owners of the store were understandably surprised at the verdict, considering the misbehaving toddler was Ms. Robertson's Son. 5th place (Tied). 19 year old Carl Truman of Los Angeles won $74,000 and medical expenses when his neighbor ran over his hand with a Honda Accord. Mr. Truman apparently did not notice there was someone at the wheel of the car when he was trying to steal the hubcaps. 5th place (Tied). Terrence Dickson of Bristol, Pennsylvania was leaving a house he had just finished robbing by way of the garage. He was not able to get the garage door to go up since the automatic door opener was malfunctioning. He could not re-enter the house because the door connecting the house and garage locked when he pulled it shut. The family was on vacation and Mr. Dickson found himself locked in the garage for 8 days. He subsisted on a case of Pepsi he found and a large bag of dry dog food. He sued the homeowner's insurance claiming the situation caused him undue mental anguish. The Jury agreed to the tune of $500,000. 4th place. Jerry Williams of Little Rock, Arkansas was awarded $14,500 and medical expenses after being bitten on the buttocks by his next door neighbor's Beagle dog. The Beagle was on a chain in its owner's fenced yard. The award was less than sought because the jury felt the dog might have been a little provoked at the time as Mr. Williams, who had climbed over the fence into the yard, was shooting it repeatedly with a pellet gun. 3rd place. A Philadelphia restaurant was ordered to pay Amber Carson of Lancaster, Pennsylvania $113,500 after she slipped on a soft drink and broke her coccyx (tailbone). The beverage was on the floor because Ms. Carson had thrown it at her boyfriend 30 seconds earlier, during an argument. 2nd place. Kara Walton of Claymont, Delaware sued the owner of a Night Club in a neighboring city when she fell from the bathroom window to the floor and knocked out two of her front teeth. This occurred whilst Ms. Walton was trying to sneak in the window of the Ladies Room to avoid paying the $3.50 cover charge. She was awarded $12,000 and dental expenses. 1st Place. This year's runaway winner was Mr. Merv Grazinski of Oklahoma City, Oklahoma. Mr. Grazinski purchased a brand new Winnebago Motor home. On his trip home from an OU football game, having driven onto the freeway, he set the cruise control at 70 mph and calmly left the driver's seat to go into the back and make himself a cup of coffee. Not surprisingly the RV left the freeway, crashed and overturned. Mr. Grazinski sued Winnebago for not advising him in the owner's manual that he could not actually do this. The jury awarded him $1,750,000 plus a new Winnebago Motor home. The company actually changed their manuals on the basis of this suit just in case there were any other complete m----s buying their recreational vehicles. __________________ Vacares rules. "Usually only fat guys have the kind of knowledge and ability that Kristin has."

06-03-2004, 08:44 PM	#6
Mr. Marks Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Wherever I want Posts: 7,517	man, thats a load of shit. and if you think that our justice system is screwed up, check out the system in developing countries. youd be so grateful--many court cases there dont get solved at all. justice lies in the streets. theres this one place i know where if youre a drug addict, youll get killed. just like that. the city wont tolerate you. fucked up, huh?

06-03-2004, 08:49 PM	#8
Gheenz Here's Your Sign Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: MT, USA Posts: 2,410	It's no wonder so many people love this country and want to come here...there's so many ways to rip it off! We need the vigilantes, to hit these people over the head for being jackasses, and serve up some real justice. __________________ Those who can make you believe absurdities can make you commit atrocities. -Voltaire

06-03-2004, 09:03 PM	#9
TheDoc Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Currently Incognito Posts: 13,827	A person wins something like that you might as well go the next level and take a bat to them.. That shit is fucked up. __________________ ~TheDoc - ICQ7765825 It's all disambiguation

06-03-2004, 09:03 PM	#10
Webby Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Far far away - as possible Posts: 14,956	I think all of that stuff is just too sad for words :-( Although there are many very well qualified and honorable people within the US legal system, - there is also an incredible amount of utter fools who have not the first clue of any form of "justice" and even attempt to divert "real justice" for their own agendas. I suppose that what happens when prosecutors are "democratically" elected and have further ambitions to be "something political" in their future careers. Some call them prosecutors - others could justifiably call them assholes. There are also the same idiots of defense teams. Add to that the fact that the "Justice Department" is really another extension of the "party of the day" and oozes political agenda's and "sometimes" justice. I can't see much further than it being a totally corrupt system, tho - there are decent people working within it. A lot of this conduct would not be tolerated in any other western country - it's just too extreme and "illegal"!

06-03-2004, 09:03 PM	#11
BigFish Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: United States of America Posts: 1,159	Only on GFY do people believe EVERYTHING they read on the internet: http://snopes.com/legal/lawsuits.asp

06-03-2004, 09:07 PM	#12
gregtx Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 1,929	I honestly think this is internet folklore... but it did make for an entertaining read __________________ Processing Partners http://www.processingpartners.com