Yo mama's So Skinny
Yo mama is so skinny, I sat on her lap and broke her leg.
Yo mama is so skinny, I sat on her lap and broke her leg.
-
-
Teepee
Q: What happened to the Indian who drank too much tea?
A: He drowned in his teapea.Comment
-
Fish Market
One day there was a blind man walking down the street and he smelled oranges, so he bought some fruit.
He smelled some pastries, so he bought some donuts.
Then he walked passed a fish market, took a hard sniff, and said, "Hello ladies!"Comment
-
-
Shoulda Said
This guy walks into a bar with his golden retriever.
''Hey, can I get a drink on the house if my dog talks for you?''
''Dogs can't talk, pal. But if you can prove to me yours does, I'll give you a drink. If not, I get to kick your ass.''
''Okay,'' says the guy. He turns to his dog. ''Okay fella. Tell me -- what is on top of a house?''
''Roof!'' The man turns and smiles at the bartender.
''THAT ain't talking! Any dog can bark!''
''Okay boy. Tell me -- how does sandpaper feel?''
''Ruff!"
''What the hell you tryin' to pull mister?''
''Okay, okay," says the man. "One more question please. Okay buddy, tell me -- who is the greatest ball player who ever lived?''
"Ruth."
The bartender beats the hell out of the guy and throws onto the sidewalk outside of the bar, then throws the dog out next to him. The dog stands up and looks at the guy.
"Geez. Maybe I shoulda said DiMaggio?"Comment
-
Equal Opportunity Asphyxiation
Why do farts smell?
So deaf people can enjoy them, too.Comment
-
Yo Mama's Poor Christmas
Yo Mama is so poor, she told your little siser that Santa Claus was dead.
Total Posts: 399
User Posts
cornhusker 59
NickPapageorgio 48
Joesho 46
The Grim Reaper 39
Reak 17
POV Porn guy 16
Rick Latona 12
Nicky 12
ajpiii 10
inabon 10
For the $10,000 one. But I have plenty of time to do that one.
Comment
-
Lightbulb: Psychiatrist
How many psychiatrists does it take to change a light bulb?
One, but it really has to want to change.Comment
-
Divided By A Common Language
The British speech:
"If you are ferocious in battle, remember to be magnanimous in victory, we go to liberate, not to conquer.
We are entering Iraq to free a people, and the only flag that will be flown in that ancient land is their own. Don't treat them as refugees, for they are in their own country. If there are casualties of war, then remember, when they woke up and got dressed in the morning they did not plan to die this day. Allow them dignity in death. Bury them properly and mark their graves. You will be shunned unless your conduct is of the highest, for your deeds will follow you down history. Iraq is steeped in history. It is the site of the Garden of Eden, of the Great Flood and the birth of Abraham. Tread lightly there."
The US speech :
"When the president says 'Go', look out - it's hammer time"
(followed by "We Will Rock You" at high volume)Comment
-
Getting Weighed
Joe took his blind date to the carnival. "What would you like to do first, Kim?" asked Joe.
I want to get weighed," she said. They ambled over to the weight guesser. He guessed 120 pounds. She got on the scale; it read 117 and she won a prize.
Next, the couple went on the Ferris Wheel. When the ride was over, Joe again asked Kim what she would like to do.
"I want to get weighed," she said.
Back to the weight guesser they went. Since they had been there before, he guessed her correct weight, and Joe lost his dollar.
The couple walked around the carnival and again he asked where to next. "I want to get weighed," she responded.
By this time, Joe figured she was really weird and took her home early, dropping her off with a handshake.
Her roommate, Laura, asked her about the blind date, "How'd it go?"
Kim responded, "Oh, Waura, it was wousy."Comment
-
How did Britney Spears...
How did Britney Spears cross the road?
With a magic markerComment
-
Flour Patch
Yo mama is so fat, I had to dip her in flour to find her wet patch.Comment
-
Mariah's Buhbuhbirthday
Next on Entertainment Tonight, celebrity birthdays: Mariah Carey's breasts are 2 years old!Comment
-
Pound for Pound
Q: What makes five pounds of fat look really good?
A: NipplesComment
-
Eyes Wide Shut
Why do women have sex with their eyes closed?
Because they can't stand seeing a man having a good timeComment
-
Victoria's Five-Legged Secret
Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?
Her panties fit her like a glove!Comment
-
Originally posted by cornhusker
Yo Mama's Poor Christmas
Yo Mama is so poor, she told your little siser that Santa Claus was dead.
Total Posts: 399
User Posts
cornhusker 59
NickPapageorgio 48
Joesho 46
The Grim Reaper 39
Reak 17
POV Porn guy 16
Rick Latona 12
Nicky 12
ajpiii 10
inabon 10
For the $10,000 one. But I have plenty of time to do that one.
heh, keep it up.
Comment
-
Yo Mama's Animal Cookies
Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped her face in the batter to make animal cookies.Comment
-
Yo Mama's Animal Cookies
Yo mama is so ugly that when she worked at the bakery they dipped her face in the batter to make animal cookies.
$150 isn't all that much.. but I'll be a post whore any day for $10gsComment
-
Last post for tonight:
Hired Help
A guy dials his home and a strange woman answers.
The guy says, ''Who is this?''
''This is the maid,'' answers the woman.
''We don't have a maid,'' says the man.
The woman says, ''I was hired this morning by the lady of the house.''
The man says, ''Well, this is her husband. Is she there?''
The woman replies, ''She is upstairs in the bed room with someone who I figured was her husband.''
The guy is fuming and says to the maid, ''Listen, would you like to make $50,000?''
The maid says, ''What will I have to do?''
The man tells her, ''I want you to get my gun from the desk, and shoot the witch and the jerk she's with.''
The maid puts the phone down; the man hears footsteps and then two gun shots.
The maid comes back to the phone, ''What do I do with the bodies?''
The man says, ''Throw them in the swimming pool.''
Puzzled, the maid answers, ''But you don't have a pool.''
A long pause and the man says, ''Is this 567-5309?''Comment
-
Ok... going to post until 300 so I can leave off at a nice even number.
299Comment
-
300Comment
-
O.K.. maybe not..
301Comment
-
302Comment
-
303Comment
-
304Comment
-
305Comment
-
306Comment
-
307Comment
-
308Comment
-
frankly i dont have the time to post like an assclown non stop. so why dont you pay me now and get it over with. some people have work to do rather than post all day.Originally posted by Tyson
-Postbots are allowed.
-Fatties are allowed.
-Sigwhores are allowed.
-******s are allowed.
-Every single person on earth is allowed.
150$ to the winner by paypal.
Because I am way more richer than bdjew.
You have until this Sunday (June/6/2004) 11:59 PM Eastern time to post.
And if you are the winner post your ICQ# in your location or profile and I will contact you monday first thing in the morning to give you the prize
But if this thread gets locked before Sunday (June/6/2004) 11:59PM Eastern time gets locked there will be no winners.
Good luck and happy posting.Since 1999: 69 Adult Industry awards for Best Hosting Company and professional excellence.
Comment
-
309Comment
-
I have a job as well.
I don't post all day.
If you don't want to participate, frankly I could give a shit.
Assclown ---- hypocrite?Comment
-
311
Oh damn, am I pissing you off?
Comment
-
312Comment
-
not another one of these threads. why are threads like this even allowable on gfy
Comment
-
Originally posted by riosluts
not another one of these threads. why are threads like this even allowable on gfyComment
-
cornhusker is really determined to win this one...
80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds
3 & 5mins FLVs | RSS & Tube Feeds | Matching Thumbs | FLV Browser & Exporter | No Prechecked Xsales
>> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557
Comment
-
-
Nah, not really, but easy money.
Comment
-
Mel Gibson
What was the working title for Mel Gibson's movie ''The Patriot?''
''Braveheart II: Men in Pants''Comment
-
Just A Juggalo
A man is driving home, when is pulled over by a patrolman for a broken blinker. The cop looks into the guys' car and sees a collection of knives in the backseat.
"Sir," the cop says. "Why do you have all those knives?"
"They're for my juggling act," the man says.
"I don't believe you," says the cop. "Prove it." So the man gets out of his car and begins juggling the knives. At the same time, a car with two guys in it drives by.
"Man," says the first guy. "I'm glad I quit drinking. These new sobriety tests are hard."Comment
-
The True Story
Some time ago President Clinton was hosting a state dinner when, at the last minute, his regular cook took ill and they had to get a replacement on short notice. The fellow arrived and turned out to be a very grubby looking man named Jon. The President voiced his concerns to his managers but was told that this was the best they could do at such short notice.
Just before the meal, the President noticed the cook sticking his fingers in the soup to taste it and again he complained to the chief of staff about the cook, but he was told that this man was supposed to be a very good chef. The meal went okay, but the President was sure that the soup tasted a little off and by the time dessert came, he was starting to have stomach cramps and nausea. It was getting worse and worse 'til finally he had to excuse himself from the state dinner to look for the bathroom.
Passing through the kitchen, he caught sight of the cook, Jon, scratching his rear end and this made him feel even worse. By now he was desperately ill with violent cramps and was so disorientated that he couldn't remember which door led to the bathroom. He was on the verge of passing out from the pain when he finally found a door that opened and as he undid his trousers and ran in, he realized to his horror that he had stumbled into Monica Lewinsky's office with his trousers around his knees. As he was just about to pass out, she bent over him and heard her president whisper in a barely audible voice, ?sack my cook.?
And that is how the whole misunderstanding occurred.Comment
-
You KNOW You're a Redneck
You know you're a redneck when your family tree has only one branch in it, and it loops.Comment
-
these thread create huge sigwhores...cornh already go 240 posts a dayOriginally posted by cornhusker
You KNOW You're a Redneck
You know you're a redneck when your family tree has only one branch in it, and it loops.
Send me a PM for design workComment
-
Laloo Flies the Friendly Skies
Joke from our friends in India...
Once as Laloo was coming out of airport, there was huge rush and the security guard told him, "Wait Please."
To which Laloo replied, "65 kgs," and moved on.
Sigwhores = people who use signatures.. I don't.Comment
-
Little Johnny's Big Answer
It is near the end of the school year. The teacher has turned in the grades and there is really nothing more to do. All the children are restless because of this.
Teacher: "Whoever answers the questions I ask first and correctly can leave early today."
Little Johnny says to himself "Good, I want to get outta here. I'm smart and will answer the question."
Teacher: "Who said 'Four Score and Seven Years Ago'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Susie says, "Abraham Lincoln."
Teacher: "That's right Susie, you can go home."
Johnny is MAD that Susie answered the question first.
Teacher: "Who said 'I Have a Dream'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Mary says, "Martin Luther King."
Teacher: "That's right Mary, you can go."
Johnny is even madder than before.
Teacher: "Who said 'Ask not, what your country can do for you'?"
Before Johnny can open his mouth, Nancy says, "John F. Kennedy."
Teacher: "That's right Nancy, you may also leave."
Johnny is BOILING mad that he has not been able to answer to any of the questions.
When the teacher turns her back Johnny says, "I wish these bitches would keep their mouths shut!"
The teacher turns around: "NOW WHO SAID THAT?!?!"
Johnny: "BILL CLINTON. CAN I GO NOW?"Comment
-
Clinton/Elian Gonzales
Why is Clinton having such a hard time deciding what to do with Elian Gonzalez?
Because the last time he decided where to put a Cuban he was almost impeached.Comment
-
Yo mama's So Old
Yo' mama so old, she was the only dinosaur they didn't have to animate for Jurassic Park!Comment
-
The Blonde and the Deodorant
The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don't sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. ''I'm sorry,'' says the pharmacist, ''we don't have any.''
''But I always get it here,'' says the blonde.
''Do you have the container it comes in?''
''Yes!'' says the blonde, ''I will go and get it.''
She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, ''This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant.''
The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: ''To apply, push up bottom.''Comment
Comment