How Do Your Employees Stack Up? - GoFuckYourself.com

CuriousToyBoy2 · 05-15-2004, 04:54 PM

Another gem from the ToyBoy urban legend file, thanks to Serge....

These are supposedly supervisor quotes taken from employee performance evaluations:

1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom
and has started to dig."

2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."

3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a
definite won't be."

4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap."

5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet."

6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle."

7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."

8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
achieve them."

9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."

10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."

11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all
together."

12. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."

13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."

14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime."

15. "He's been working with glue too much."

16. "He would argue with a signpost."

17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."

18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."

19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one."

20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."

21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection."

22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."

23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
coming."

24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it."

25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."

26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."

27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."

28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."

29. "One neuron short of a synapse."

30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."

31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes."

32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

Illicit · 05-15-2004, 05:00 PM

some good shit in there !

StRoGE · 05-15-2004, 05:23 PM

Oh man. I do evaluations for around 160 employees. Im definately going to use some of those, if not all of them.

Raf1 · 05-15-2004, 05:29 PM

some of those are great

might come in handy...

Rictor · 05-15-2004, 05:31 PM

I can relate to those bosses.

insanesurfer · 05-15-2004, 05:33 PM

Going to start to use some of those

EviLGuY · 05-15-2004, 05:38 PM

Thats a handy list to have for an emergency insult.

stev0 · 05-15-2004, 06:33 PM

haha, those are awsome!

sumphatpimp · 05-15-2004, 06:38 PM

I've had bosses say all that and more about me.
I was with the company for 27 years.
They ( the boss ) rarely lasted more than 6 months.

guess they were right.

true story.

BradM · 05-15-2004, 06:52 PM

Funny as hell

05-15-2004, 04:54 PM	#1
CuriousToyBoy2 So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2004 Location: The Land Downunder Posts: 707	How Do Your Employees Stack Up? Another gem from the ToyBoy urban legend file, thanks to Serge.... These are supposedly supervisor quotes taken from employee performance evaluations: 1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock bottom and has started to dig." 2. "I would not allow this employee to breed." 3. "This employee is really not much of a has-been, but more of a definite won't be." 4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat in a trap." 5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems it is only to change feet." 6. "He would be out of his depth in a parking lot puddle." 7. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy." 8. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to achieve them." 9. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot." 10. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better." 11. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thing to hold it all together." 12. "A gross ignoramus - 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus." 13. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier." 14. "I would like to go hunting with him sometime." 15. "He's been working with glue too much." 16. "He would argue with a signpost." 17. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room." 18. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell." 19. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other one." 20. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on." 21. "A prime candidate for natural DE-selection." 22. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it." 23. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't coming." 24. "He's got two brains, one is lost and the other is out looking for it." 25. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week." 26. "If you gave him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change." 27. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean." 28. It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm." 29. "One neuron short of a synapse." 30. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled." 31. "Takes him 2 hours to watch 60 minutes." 32. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."

05-15-2004, 05:00 PM	#2
Illicit wtf ? Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: GFY Posts: 11,895	some good shit in there ! __________________ Insert Sig Here

05-15-2004, 05:23 PM	#3
StRoGE Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Location: Canada Posts: 1,713	Oh man. I do evaluations for around 160 employees. Im definately going to use some of those, if not all of them. __________________ [URL=http://www.stupidcash.com/referral=sailorslut/][/URL

05-15-2004, 05:29 PM	#4
Raf1 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Writer for hire :) Gallery descriptions, articles, blog posts etc. ICQ: 209 356 106 Posts: 12,117	some of those are great might come in handy... __________________ 80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds 3 & 5mins FLVs \| RSS & Tube Feeds \| Matching Thumbs \| FLV Browser & Exporter \| No Prechecked Xsales >> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557

05-15-2004, 05:33 PM	#6
insanesurfer Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 790	Going to start to use some of those __________________ Tired of Paypal? Then give Moneybookers a chance.

05-15-2004, 05:31 PM	#5
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	I can relate to those bosses.

05-15-2004, 05:38 PM	#7
EviLGuY So Fucking Banned Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: malta Posts: 12,745	Thats a handy list to have for an emergency insult.

05-15-2004, 06:33 PM	#8
stev0 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta Posts: 6,801	haha, those are awsome!

05-15-2004, 06:38 PM	#9
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	I've had bosses say all that and more about me. I was with the company for 27 years. They ( the boss ) rarely lasted more than 6 months. guess they were right. true story.

05-15-2004, 06:52 PM	#10
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Funny as hell