Ladies I have finished your "male owners manual...guys you need to print it
 

The Guys' Rules

We always hear "the rules"
from the female side.
Now here are the rules from the male side.
These are our rules!


1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

2. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

3. Shopping is NOT a sport.

And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

4. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

5. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every
question.

6. Come! to us w ith a problem only if you want help solving it.
That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

7. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem.
See a doctor.

8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.

9. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.

10. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

12. You can either ask us to do something
or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

13. Whenever possible,
please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

14. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and neither do we.

15. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like hahahahahahas default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit.
We have no idea what mauve is.

16. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

18. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
expect an answer you don't want to hear.

19. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear
is fine...Really.

20. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun formation,
or monster trucks.

21. You have enough clothes.

22. You have too many shoes.

23. I am in shape. Round is a shape.

24. Thank you for reading this.

:321GFY

hit close to home.....:1orglaugh

Too typical, the average man expects his girlfriend to look so good, yet claims round is a shape. :thumbsup

what is even funnier than the satirical nature of the post is the dip shits who take it seriously......

and women wonder why men cheat...

lighten the fuck up

Is the rdio show on still evryday?

thnx Jim, this was very informative! I hope to see ya at the Giga Lunch.

still training the chimps and the cigar smoking dogs



seriously....I needed a break....I have been slammed with the Howard Stern deal and the content deals we are getting ready to launch....

we have picked up a couple of sponsors but i am holding out for the right situation which I see coming in any day.....

jim - i love you (NOT IN A SEXUAL WAY)

:thumbsup

I liked that ....LMAO

11. If something we said can be interpreted two ways
and one of the ways makes you sad or angry,
we meant the other one.

17. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing,"
we will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.



i knew those 2 well, although the others were not strangers

bullshit then stop sending gifts!!!