Guess the number between 1 and 347 and get $347 sent to you. - Page 15 - GoFuckYourself.com

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:03 PM

A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?"

She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does?

Raf1 · 06-06-2004, 03:03 PM

things are getting way out of hand with these post bots...

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:03 PM

Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, "Do you ever get to feeling horny?"

"Yes," her friend replied.

"What do you do about it?"

"I usually suck on a Lifesaver."

After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, "Well, what beach do you go to?"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:04 PM

A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello luv, how's about us going for a walk together."

"How dare you," said the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!"

"Well then," said the beggar, "What are you doing in my bed?"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:05 PM

It's really hard being a pecker! You have a head, but you can't think. You've got an eye, but you can't see. All you do is hang around all day with a couple of nuts. Your closest neighbor is a real asshole. And ever since AIDS, you gotta wear a rubber suit and throw up all over yourself!

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:05 PM

The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?"

Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any.

She glanced down and said, "Nice design, does it also come in men's sizes?"

hijaker · 06-06-2004, 03:06 PM

postbots?

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:06 PM

Two nuns are walking down a dark alley one night. Two men suddenly jump out of the shadows and start to rape them. The first nun looks up toward heaven and says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are doing."

The second nun looks up and says, "This one does!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by hijaker
postbots?

nope. a boring dude in action

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:08 PM

An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling.

The old man is thinking ..."Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her."

The old lady is thinking ..."Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties."

Basic_man · 06-06-2004, 03:08 PM

52?

is the contest over?

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:08 PM

This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis.

"No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke."

Pendo · 06-06-2004, 03:09 PM

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:09 PM

An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?"

"Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life."

"But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep.

"That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:12 PM

An Indian chief and his son are sitting down one day, and the son asks: "Dad, how do us Indians get our names?"

"It's very simple," replies the chief. "Your oldest brother was born by a river, so we call him Running Brook. Your other brother was born in the early morning, so we call him Rising Sun. Why do you ask Broken Rubber?"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:13 PM

A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch.

"Hi, there, I'm Jerry," he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, "and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?"

"As a matter of fact there is," she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. "Do you have change for a dollar?"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:14 PM

A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- the best sex he'd ever had!

He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room.

A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:15 PM

An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it."

"Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:16 PM

A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?"

Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it."

Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25."

The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways.

Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center.

Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?"

Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:17 PM

Late one night a woman was walking home when a man grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes. "Help me! Help me!" she screamed. "I'm being robbed!"

"You ain't being robbed, slut!" her attacker interrupted. "You're being screwed!"

The woman looked down at her attacker as he unzipped his jeans. "If you're screwing me with that," she fumed, "I am being robbed!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:18 PM

A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel,"replied the madam.

"Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man.

"Oh, we're having a yard sale today."

monaro · 06-06-2004, 03:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LegendaryLars
Its simple Post your number in this thread here and also post the number in the thread linked below

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...hreadid=259004

first person to get the number in both threads gets the CASH.

147

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:18 PM

This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived, he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband.

As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked, "What they don't use those things where you come from?"

"Yeah," she said "But we don't skin 'em!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:19 PM

An exhibitionist named Joe, was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta. As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself.

"I'm sorry sir," she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket here, not your stub."

Steen2 · 06-06-2004, 03:19 PM

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:19 PM

An old man and his wife were listening to their favorite radio evangelist, who promised, "With God's incredible powers behind me, I can heal anything! Place one hand on the radio and the other on that which you want healed, and IT SHALL BE HEALED!"

The old woman put one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The old man put one hand on the radio and the other on his pants.

The woman said, "Uh, honey, he said he could HEAL, not BRING BACK FROM THE DEAD!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:20 PM

There's a kid who lives on a farm. One day he comes home from school in a really bad mood. Walking to the house, he sees a pig and kicks it. Then he sees a chicken and kicks that.

When he walks in the house his mother, who was watching him through the window, says, "I saw you kick those animals. For kicking the pig, you'll have no bacon for a week. For kicking the chicken, you'll have no eggs for a week."

The kid was about to say something when his father walks through the door, also in a foul mood, and kicks the cat. Then he says to his mother, "You want to tell him or should I?"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:21 PM

A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm.

"Sure!!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:21 PM

An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked.

"Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa."

"You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested.

"Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:22 PM

A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion, and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read: "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff."

Not to be outdone, the Madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too: "Our Stuff will stiff your Staff."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:22 PM

An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied.

Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr. Smith, I thought you told me your penis died?"

"It did," he replied. "Today is the viewing!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:23 PM

Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, "How long before we can have sex?"

The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:24 PM

A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight."

The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:24 PM

A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?"

The barber replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:25 PM

Reminiscing about their wayward youth, a former hippie asked a onetime flower child, "Say, were you ever picked up by the fuzz?"

"No," she replied, "but I bet it'd hurt!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:25 PM

An Eskimo's snowmobile goes on the fritz. He takes it to a mechanic, who, after examining the vehicle, says, "I think you've blown a seal."

To which the Eskimo replies, "No, that's just a little ice on my mustache."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:26 PM

Two old ladies sitting on the porch at the old folks home? One turned to the other and asked "Martha, you were married a long time, did you and your husband have mutual orgasm?

The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I think we had State Farm."

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:27 PM

Three old ladies are sitting on a park bench. Suddenly a man comes along, flings open his trench coat and flashes them.

Two have a stroke... but the third doesn't 'cause her arms aren't long enough.

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:27 PM

PrivateIvy · 06-06-2004, 03:28 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by LegendaryLars
Its simple Post your number in this thread here and also post the number in the thread linked below

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...hreadid=259004

first person to get the number in both threads gets the CASH.

23

Ivy

DarkLord · 06-06-2004, 03:29 PM

PrivateIvy · 06-06-2004, 03:30 PM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by LegendaryLars
Its simple Post your number in this thread here and also post the number in the thread linked below

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showt...threadid=259004

first person to get the number in both threads gets the CASH.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

13

Ivy

PrivateIvy · 06-06-2004, 03:31 PM

quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Originally posted by LegendaryLars
Its simple Post your number in this thread here and also post the number in the thread linked below

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showt...threadid=259004

first person to get the number in both threads gets the CASH.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

324

Ivy

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:38 PM

I'm a practising heterosexual, but bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night.

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:39 PM

After making love, I said to my girl: "Was it good for you too?" She said: "I don't think this was good for anybody!"

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:39 PM

I love the lines men use to get us into bed. "Please, I'll only put it in for a minute." What am I, a microwave?

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:40 PM

You know the worst thing about oral sex? The view.

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:40 PM

Women need a reason to have sex. Men just need a place.

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:41 PM

If it weren't for pick-pocketers, I'd have no sex life at all.

zentz · 06-06-2004, 03:42 PM

Wife: "Why don't you ever callout my name when we're making love?" ! Husband: "Because I don't want to wake you."

06-06-2004, 03:03 PM	#701
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A woman walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist if he sells size extra large condoms. He replies, "Yes we do. Would you like to buy some?" She responds, "No, but do you mind if I wait around here until someone does? __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:03 PM	#702
Raf1 Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Writer for hire :) Gallery descriptions, articles, blog posts etc. ICQ: 209 356 106 Posts: 12,117	things are getting way out of hand with these post bots... __________________ 80% Revshare or 30$ PPS on $1 trials: 200 Niches = Vidz.com Galleries / FLVs / Embeds 3 & 5mins FLVs \| RSS & Tube Feeds \| Matching Thumbs \| FLV Browser & Exporter \| No Prechecked Xsales >> Mobile Redirection Script: mobile.vidz.com also paying 80% net Lifetime << ICQ: 198-394-557

06-06-2004, 03:03 PM	#703
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Down in Florida, two widows were talking and one asked the other, "Do you ever get to feeling horny?" "Yes," her friend replied. "What do you do about it?" "I usually suck on a Lifesaver." After a moment of stunned silence her friend asked, "Well, what beach do you go to?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:04 PM	#704
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A woman sat down on a park bench, glanced around and decided to stretch out her legs on the seat and relax. After a while a beggar came up to her and said, "Hello luv, how's about us going for a walk together." "How dare you," said the woman, "I'm not one of your cheap pickups!" "Well then," said the beggar, "What are you doing in my bed?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:05 PM	#705
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	It's really hard being a pecker! You have a head, but you can't think. You've got an eye, but you can't see. All you do is hang around all day with a couple of nuts. Your closest neighbor is a real asshole. And ever since AIDS, you gotta wear a rubber suit and throw up all over yourself! __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:05 PM	#706
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any. She glanced down and said, "Nice design, does it also come in men's sizes?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:06 PM	#707
hijaker Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2004 Location: PORTUGAL Posts: 238	postbots? __________________ PORNADiKTS.COM - udated every 5 minutes

06-06-2004, 03:06 PM	#708
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Two nuns are walking down a dark alley one night. Two men suddenly jump out of the shadows and start to rape them. The first nun looks up toward heaven and says, "Forgive them, Father, for they know not what they are doing." The second nun looks up and says, "This one does!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:08 PM	#710
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An elderly man and woman meet in a bar and get to talking. They are enjoying their conversation so much that, when the bar closes, they decide to continue at the woman's apartment. After a time, things start getting pretty romantic and they wind up in bed. Afterward, they're both laying there, staring at the ceiling. The old man is thinking ..."Gosh, if I had known she was a virgin, I would have been more careful with her." The old lady is thinking ..."Geez, if I had known he could get it up, I would have taken off my panties." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:08 PM	#711
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	52? is the contest over? __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

06-06-2004, 03:08 PM	#712
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	This couple had been dating for about six months, but the guy had been afraid to make any sexual advances because of his tiny organ. Finally one night, he gets up his courage, and takes her to a secluded spot in his car. While they are kissing, he opens his zipper and guides her hand onto his penis. "No thanks," the girl says. "You know I don't smoke." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:09 PM	#713
Pendo Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 3,179	315

06-06-2004, 03:09 PM	#714
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An older man wearing a stovepipe hat, a waistcoat and a phony beard sat down at a bar and ordered a drink. As the bartender set it down, he asked, "Going to a party?" "Yeah," the man answered, "I'm supposed to come dressed as my love life." "But you look like Abe Lincoln," protested the barkeep. "That's right. My last four scores were seven years ago." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:12 PM	#715
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An Indian chief and his son are sitting down one day, and the son asks: "Dad, how do us Indians get our names?" "It's very simple," replies the chief. "Your oldest brother was born by a river, so we call him Running Brook. Your other brother was born in the early morning, so we call him Rising Sun. Why do you ask Broken Rubber?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:13 PM	#716
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A young man walks into a singles bar with a roll of quarters taped inside the crotch of his jeans. He looks around, then sits next to the most attractive woman there. He was very pleased with himself after he noticed her constantly glancing down at his crotch. "Hi, there, I'm Jerry," he said, as he went into one of his well rehearsed routines, "and I help produce a T.V. quiz show. Is there any question I can answer for you?" "As a matter of fact there is," she said as she glanced down once more toward his embellished jeans. "Do you have change for a dollar?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:14 PM	#717
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A guy went into a bar and met a nice girl. They have a few drinks and soon wound up at his place, in bed. They're having a great time. She was on top when suddenly she had an epileptic seizure -- she was shaking and foaming at the mouth. Our uninformed male thought this was incredible -- the best sex he'd ever had! He finished, but she is still shaking and thrashing about with her seizure. He began to get nervous and took her to the emergency room. A nurse asked what the problem was and he replied, "I think her orgasm's stuck!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:15 PM	#718
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An escaped convict broke into a house and tied up a young couple who had been sleeping in the bedroom. As soon as he had a chance, the husband turned to his voluptuous young wife, bound up on the bed in a skimpy nightgown, and whispered, "Honey, this guy hasn't seen a woman in years. Just cooperate with anything he wants. If he wants to have sex with you, just go along with it and pretend you like it. Our lives depend on it." "Dear," the wife hissed, spitting out her gag, "I'm so relieved you feel that way, because he just told me he thinks you have a really nice, tight-looking ass!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:16 PM	#719
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A man and a woman were waiting at the hospital donation center. Man: "What are you doing here today?" Woman: "Oh, I'm here to donate some blood. They're going to give me $5 for it." Man: "Hmm, that's interesting. I'm here to donate sperm, myself. But they pay me $25." The woman looked thoughtful for a moment and they chatted some more before going their separate ways. Several months later, the same man and woman meet again in the donation center. Man: "Oh, hi there! Here to donate blood again?" Woman: (shaking her head with mouth closed) "Unh unh." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:17 PM	#720
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Late one night a woman was walking home when a man grabbed her and dragged her into the bushes. "Help me! Help me!" she screamed. "I'm being robbed!" "You ain't being robbed, slut!" her attacker interrupted. "You're being screwed!" The woman looked down at her attacker as he unzipped his jeans. "If you're screwing me with that," she fumed, "I am being robbed!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:18 PM	#721
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A man was walking one day, when he came to this big house in a nice neighborhood. Suddenly he realized there was a couple making love out on the lawn. Then he noticed another couple over behind a tree. Then another couple behind some bushes by the house. He walked up to the door of the house, and knocked. A well dressed woman answered the door, and the man asked what kind of a place this was. "This is a brothel,"replied the madam. "Well, what's all this out on the lawn?" queried the man. "Oh, we're having a yard sale today." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:18 PM	#723
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	This one New Yorker married himself a southern gal and brought her to the big city for the first time. When they first arrived, he got them a hotel room and as they were laying in bed she looked over in the corner and saw a discarded condom, "Oh yuck!!" she proclaimed as she pointed it to her new husband. As he craned his neck to see what it was he looked at her and asked, "What they don't use those things where you come from?" "Yeah," she said "But we don't skin 'em!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:19 PM	#724
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An exhibitionist named Joe, was preparing to board a flight to Atlanta. As he approached the open door of the plane at the end of the jet way, a very attractive flight attendant was collecting boarding passes. As she reached toward him for his boarding pass, he opened his raincoat and exposed himself. "I'm sorry sir," she said politely, "but you have to show your ticket here, not your stub." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:19 PM	#725
Steen2 Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: Vancouver, Canada Posts: 7,662	283 __________________ ICQ: 2262.73945

06-06-2004, 03:19 PM	#726
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An old man and his wife were listening to their favorite radio evangelist, who promised, "With God's incredible powers behind me, I can heal anything! Place one hand on the radio and the other on that which you want healed, and IT SHALL BE HEALED!" The old woman put one hand on the radio and the other on her heart. The old man put one hand on the radio and the other on his pants. The woman said, "Uh, honey, he said he could HEAL, not BRING BACK FROM THE DEAD!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:20 PM	#727
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	There's a kid who lives on a farm. One day he comes home from school in a really bad mood. Walking to the house, he sees a pig and kicks it. Then he sees a chicken and kicks that. When he walks in the house his mother, who was watching him through the window, says, "I saw you kick those animals. For kicking the pig, you'll have no bacon for a week. For kicking the chicken, you'll have no eggs for a week." The kid was about to say something when his father walks through the door, also in a foul mood, and kicks the cat. Then he says to his mother, "You want to tell him or should I?" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:21 PM	#728
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A woman enrolled in nursing school is attending an anatomy class. The subject of the day is involuntary muscles. The instructor, hoping to perk up the students a bit, asks the woman if she knows what her asshole does when she has an orgasm. "Sure!!" she says, "He's at home taking care of the kids..." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:21 PM	#729
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An elderly woman entered a large furniture store and was greeted by a much younger salesman. "Is there something in particular I can show you?" he asked. "Yes, I want to buy a sexual sofa." "You mean a sectional sofa," he suggested. "Sectional schmectional." she bitterly retorted. "All I want is an occasional piece in the living room!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:22 PM	#730
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A new mortuary in a tough mill town decided to advertise in an unorthodox fashion, and so draped a banner on the front of their building that read: "Our Staff will stuff your Stiff." Not to be outdone, the Madame across the street had her girls respond with a banner too: "Our Stuff will stiff your Staff." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:22 PM	#731
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An old man, Mr. Smith, resided in a nursing home. One day he went into the nurses' office and informed Nurse Jones that his penis died. Nurse Jones, realizing the Mr. Smith was old and forgetful decided to play along with him. "It did? I'm sorry to hear that," she replied. Two days later, Mr. Smith was walking down the halls at the nursing home with his penis hanging outside his pants. Nurse Jones saw him and said, "Mr. Smith, I thought you told me your penis died?" "It did," he replied. "Today is the viewing!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:23 PM	#732
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Michael Jackson and the doctor are walking out of the delivery room after his wife gives birth to their son. Michael says, "How long before we can have sex?" The doctor says, "At least wait until he's walking." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:24 PM	#733
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest. After 15 minutes of this, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight." The woman says, "So do I. You've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:24 PM	#734
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	A man was looking all over town to find a friend of his. He walked down the street and came to a barber shop. He stuck his head inside and asked, "Bob Peters here?" The barber replied, "Nah, we just do shaves and haircuts." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:25 PM	#735
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Reminiscing about their wayward youth, a former hippie asked a onetime flower child, "Say, were you ever picked up by the fuzz?" "No," she replied, "but I bet it'd hurt!" __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:25 PM	#736
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	An Eskimo's snowmobile goes on the fritz. He takes it to a mechanic, who, after examining the vehicle, says, "I think you've blown a seal." To which the Eskimo replies, "No, that's just a little ice on my mustache." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

06-06-2004, 03:26 PM	#737
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,053	Two old ladies sitting on the porch at the old folks home? One turned to the other and asked "Martha, you were married a long time, did you and your husband have mutual orgasm? The other little old lady sat and rocked for a minute and said, "No, I think we had State Farm." __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]