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[Smokey The ßear]

Why does an elephant have four feet?

[David Barnes]

happy gilmore

[Approved Cash]

"Do, or do not. There is no 'try'."

[LadyD]

[Smokey The ßear]

Because it would look silly with six inches.

[David Barnes]

nightmare on elm street

[Smokey The ßear]

but sure looks better on a woman.

[Approved Cash]

"The only way to get rid of a temptation is to yield to it."

[Smokey The ßear]

What do you call a woman who can suck golf balls through a hose?

[David Barnes]

16 candles

[Smokey The ßear]

Why do women get periods?

[Approved Cash]

"Don't stay in bed, unless you can make money in bed."

[Smokey The ßear]

Because they deserve them.

[David Barnes]

something about mary

[Approved Cash]

"I don't know why we are here, but I'm pretty sure that it is not in order to enjoy ourselves."

[Smokey The ßear]

Because he was stapled to the chickens back.

[David Barnes]

punch drunk love

[Smokey The ßear]

How many men do you need for a mafia funeral?

[Approved Cash]

"The use of COBOL cripples the mind; its teaching should, therefore, be regarded as a criminal offense."

[amaze]

still here

[Smokey The ßear]

Only one. To slam the car boot shut.

[David Barnes]

the karate kid

[Smokey The ßear]

There were four 80 year old men playing golf. One complained the hills were to high. The second complained the bunkers were too deep. The third said the holes were too wide. The fourth one said 'Shut up! At least we're still on the right side of the grass!'

[Approved Cash]

"C makes it easy to shoot yourself in the foot; C++ makes it harder, but when you do, it blows away your whole leg."

[LadyD]

[Smokey The ßear]

Broken promises don't upset me. I just think 'Why did they believe me?'

[David Barnes]

bad boys

[Smokey The ßear]

A man took his wife to the doctors. After a short examination the doctor said 'Your wife's mind has completely gone!'. To which the man replied 'I'm not surprised. She's been giving a piece of it to me every day for the past 25 years!'

[Approved Cash]

"A mathematician is a device for turning coffee into theorems."

[check]

how long will stop?

[Smokey The ßear]

The graduate with an engenieering degree asks 'How does it do that?'

[David Barnes]

rebel without a cause

[Smokey The ßear]

The graduate with an accounting degree asks 'How much does it cost?'

[Approved Cash]

"Problems worthy of attack prove their worth by fighting back."

[Smokey The ßear]

'Was your wife a virgin when you married?'

[David Barnes]

the whole nine yards

[Smokey The ßear]

What is the last thing to go through the mind of a mosquito when it hits your windscreen?

[Approved Cash]

"The only difference between me and a madman is that I'm not mad."

[Smokey The ßear]

It's ass.

[Smokey The ßear]

A face can say many things. Especially the mouth part.

[David Barnes]

50 first dates

[Approved Cash]

"If you can't get rid of the skeleton in your closet, you'd best teach it to dance."

[Smokey The ßear]

What's brown and sticky?

[Smokey The ßear]

What's the difference between a rotwieler and a poodle?

[David Barnes]

meet the parents

[Approved Cash]

"But at my back I always hear Time's winged chariot hurrying near."

[Smokey The ßear]

I'd cross the hottest desert

[Smokey The ßear]

You must have come from the shallow end of the gene pool.

[David Barnes]

mickey blue eyes

[Smokey The ßear]

It was so cold