The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal)

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why do blondes always drink with straws?

[Hustlin Entertainment]

A. you're an idiot

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think a stock tip is advice on wormin your hogs.

[Smokey The ßear]

2pack

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you don't have a home phone.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. practice.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think Ross Perot is how your cousin Ross got out of jail early.

[Smokey The ßear]

2pak

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think trash TV is something in your backyard.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. To cover the valve stem.

[Smokey The ßear]

fluffy

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why should blondes not be given coffee breaks?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . stealing road signs is a family outing.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think a woman who is 'out of your league' bowls on a different night.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. It takes too long to retrain them.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever changed the numbers on your house so the police can't find you.

[Smokey The ßear]

thugz

[Jolly Rancher]

A. They spread for the bread.

[Smokey The ßear]

da

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. How do you know when it's time to wash dishes and clean the house?

[Smokey The ßear]

yh

[Jolly Rancher]

it's not time.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q: Did you hear about the Irishman born with two left feet?

[Jolly Rancher]

A: He went out one day to buy some Flip Flips...

[Smokey The ßear]

WWhat is the difference between a whore

[Jolly Rancher]

Q: How do you ruin St. Paddy's day for an Irishman?

[Jolly Rancher]

A: Make him the designated driver.

[Smokey The ßear]

and a blonde?

[Jolly Rancher]

A: Ric O'Shea!!

[Smokey The ßear]

Aren't you done yet?

[genomega]

It's back.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Did you hear Clinton doesn't use bookmarks?

[Smokey The ßear]

Are you done ALREADY?

[Jolly Rancher]

A. He just bends over the pages....

[Saint Nick]

I like McDonalds... is that bad?

[Smokey The ßear]

And the blonde says

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Pour Gas on a Cat

[Jolly Rancher]

and throw a match at it........ WOOF.

[Smokey The ßear]

I'm late for work because the train driver had an out of body experience and didn't come back for a day and a half.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Know how to make a Dog sound like a Cat?

[TheSwed]

Hmm funny shit

[Smokey The ßear]

so I'm calling in dead.

[Saint Nick]

Now i'm hungry...... need to feed the belly

[Jolly Rancher]

Then cut it with a band saw. MEEOOW.

[Smokey The ßear]

I'm late for work because I set half the clocks in my house ahead an hour and the other half back an hour Saturday and spent 18 hours in some kind of space-time continuum loop reliving sunday (tight up until the explosion). I was able to exit from the loop only by reversing the polarity of the power source by exactly e*log(pi) clocks while simultaneously rapping my dog on the nose with a rolled up newspaper. This was strange as I don't own a dog. Accordingly I will be late for work

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Nothing...it just waved.

[Smokey The ßear]

Patrick was in charge of Bingo at his church. He called the numbers in Latin so the Pritestants wouldn't win.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What's the similarity between a woman and a guitar?

[Smokey The ßear]

Over the lips

[Jolly Rancher]

A. You play at the top and finger the bottom...