The Last Person to ever post is this Thread wins $250 (paypal)

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you break wind in public and blame it on your kid.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Bobbing for chips.

[amaze]

Once there was a blonde who really needed some money. She saw an ad in the newspaper for a job at an Elmo factory. She went down and applied, but the manager told her that she wouldn't want the job because it was so boring. The blonde begged him and told him she would do anything because she needed the money really bad. After long consideration the manager hired her.
After a few hours the manager looked at the video-monitor showing the factory floor and saw that the conveyer belt was backed up. The manager went downstairs to find out what the problem was. When he arived there the blonde was sewing to marbles into the crotch of every Elmo.

The manager said, ''I said to give each Elmo two test tickles; not two testicles!''

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever had to siphon gas from your lawn mower to put into your truck.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Brain tumor.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever paid for a six-pack of beer with pennies.

[amaze]

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . there are hubcap wind chimes anywhere on your block.

[amaze]

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a Bud Light pool-table light hanging over your dining room table.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry"

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the strongest smell in your house is butane.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry....

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think paprika is a Third World country.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you ask the preacher, Hows it hanging?

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why is a blonde like an old washing machine?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you go to a stock car race and dont need a program.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have a bumper sticker that says, My mothers an honor student at the local junior high.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you think potted meat on a saltine is an hors doeuvre. lol

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose?

[steve90]

I like cheese.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you played the banjo in your high school band.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. FULL

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . the velvet paintings in your house were bought from an art dealer on the side of the highway.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. She slipped off and fell down the drain.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you have no hubcaps on your car because youre using them to feed your hunting dogs.

[steve90]

1 million

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you cant visit relatives without getting mud on your tires.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. So she could lip read.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your mother doesnt put shoes on to go grocery shopping.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger?

[Jolly Rancher]

A. You get to park in the handicap zone.

[Sammy4u]

Hellooooo!

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever been blacklisted by a bowling alley.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells?

[SlickRick]

hello sammy

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you honest-to-God think women are turned on by animal noises and seductive tongue gestures.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . anyone in your family has ever purchased peroxide in a gallon container. lol

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Not everyone has been in a 747?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you don't think baseball players spit and scratch too much. LMAO

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What's the difference between butter and a blonde?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you've ever been to a wedding reception at the Waffle House.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Butter is difficult to spread.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . your dog has ever brought home something that you cooked for dinner.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Pull the pin and throw it back.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What do you call it when a blonde dies her hair brunette?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck If . . .
. . . you owe a taxidermist more than your monthly income.