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[Jolly Rancher]

Q. How do you drown a blonde?

[Nanda]

A guy goes into a bar, orders twelve shots and starts drinking them as fast as he can.
The bartender says, "Dang, why are you drinking so fast?"

The guy says, "You would be drinking fast if you had what I had."

The bartender says, "What do you have?"

The guy says, "75 cents."

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Put a scratch 'n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool.

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . the worst part of spending time on Dagoba is the dadgum skeeters.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Hear about the blonde that bought an AM radio?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . wookies are offended by your B.O.

[beemk]

.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. It took her a month to figure out she could play it at night too.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What did the blonde say when she saw the banana peel on the floor?

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Oh no

[Nanda]

A man walks into a bar and says, "Excuse me, I'd like a pint of beer."

The bartender serves the drink and says, "That'll be four dollars."

The customer pulls out a twenty-dollar bill and hands it to the bartender.

"Sorry, sir," the bartender says, "but I can't accept that."

The man pulls out a ten-dollar bill and the bartender rejects his money again. "What's going on here?" the man asks.

Pointing to a neon sign, the bartender explains, "This is a Singles Bar."

[SlickRick]

You Might Be A Redneck Jedi If . . .
. . . you have ever used the force in conjunction with bowling or a spitting contest.

[Jolly Rancher]

I'm going to fall again!

[Nanda]

You know you're a redneck when your stair master has an ashtray!