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[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why does a blonde insist on him wearing a condom? *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she ordered a "My Size Meal" at McDonald's they gave her the key to the store.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. So she can have a doggie bag for later. *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she played hide-n-go-seek, she hid behind a water tower.

[Nanda]

What do you call a blonde who has dyed her hair brown?
Artificial intelligence.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. How would a blonde punctuate the following: "Fun fun fun worry worry worry" *-

[Oh Sheila]

Late Show Top Ten Cool Things About Pitching A Perfect Game

10. "After this, I can go 0-15 for the year and honestly not give a crap"

9. "My pre-game dinner at Denny's tonight? On the house!"

8. "Shows everyone that even though I'm 40, I can still...I'm sorry, I lost my train of thought"

7. "Cool to get congratulatory call from the President, even though he kept calling me "Larry"

6. "Can walk up to guys who've thrown no-hitters and whisper, "Loser"

5. "All the pine tar I can eat!"

4. "Your catcher hugs you and it feels kinda...nice"

3. "Maybe people will finally forget about the time I killed that bird"

2. "It's just one more thing about me that's perfect, am I right, ladies?"

1. "George Steinbrenner just offered me a billion dollars to sign with the yankees"

[Nanda]

How did the blonde die raking leaves?
She fell out of the tree!

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she play offense and defense.

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Fun period fun period fun no period worry worry worry.... *-

[Nanda]

What's the difference between the Atlantic Coast and a blonde?
The Atlantic Coast would never have that many crabs!!

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she plays football she plays the interior line.

[Nanda]

Q: What do a blonde and a car have in common?
A: They can both drive you crazy

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Because they both drip when they're fucked! *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she ran away, they had to use all four sides of the milk carton.

[Nanda]

What do you get when Dolly Parton does the backstroke?
Islands In The Stream.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What does a blonde say after multiple orgasms? *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she runs she makes the CD player skip... at the radio station.

[Nanda]

A blonde and a brunette are out driving, and the brunette tells the blonde to look out for cops - especially cops with their lights on. After they've been driving for a while, the brunette asks the blonde if she's seen any cops.
"Yes," says the blonde.

"Are their lights on?"

The blonde has to think for a moment, then says, "Yes. No. Yes. No. Yes. No."

[Jolly Rancher]

A. "Way to go team!" *-

[Nanda]

How do you know a blonde's having a bad day?
Her tampon's behind her ear and she can't find her pencil.

[Oh Sheila]

Top Ten Things You Don't Want To Hear At Hooters

10. "Hi, I'm Tammi, I'll be your waitress"

9. "Wanna lick my mustache? It's hot and spicy"

8. "Don't worry, your waitress is taking a load of Penicillin. I'm sure she's not contagious"

7. "You ordered the Raccoon, right?"

6. "See if you can tell which one on of these I sneezed on"

5. "You better give me a good tip or I'll break your legs"

4. "Here's your chicken fingers, and here's your lipitor"

3. "You look at my daughter again and I'll deep fry your face"

2. "Hey for $10 you can see me in one of these outfits"

1. "Here's your wet nap"

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What do you call a blonde with a runny nose? *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she sat on a rainbow, Skittle's fell out.

[Nanda]

How can you tell when a blonde has been baking chocolate chip cookies?
There's M&M shells all over the floor

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What happened to the blonde tap dancer? *-

[Jolly Rancher]

A. She slipped off and fell down the drain. *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she saw a yellow bus going down the road she yelled "Hey! Stop that Twinkie."

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why did the deaf blonde sit on the newspaper? *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits around the house, she sits AROUND the house.

[Nanda]

A blonde walks down the street and sees a banana peel a hundred yards ahead, and she sighs.
"Here we go again."

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. Why is it good to have a blonde passenger? *-

[Nanda]

Why did the mirror have 6 holes in it?
A blonde tried to shoot herself!

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits in a chair, the rolls on her legs, cover her feet like a blanket.

[Oh Sheila]

Top Ten Way Saddam Hussein Celebrated His 67th Birthday

10. Entertained by stripper dressed as U.N. inspector

9. Visits from wives 1, 3 and 12 and Sean Penn

8. Arranged fleas on his chest to form number "67"

7. Thanked Allah he wasn't drafted by the San Diego Chargers

6. Wondered why Uday and Qusay haven't called

5. Spent a little time in the "spider-hole," if you know what I mean

4. Folded old death warrants into festive birthday hats

3. Cellmate popped out of giant falafel

2. Realized he's one year closer to going to hell

1. Pretty much just sat there

[Jolly Rancher]

A. You get to park in the handicap zone. *-

[Nanda]

Q: What do Barbie and Britney Spears have in common?
A: Both are blonde, brainless and made out of plastic.

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What do you call a blonde with 2 brain cells? *-

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she sits on my face I can't hear the stereo.

[Nanda]

A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L."
The bartender says, "What's an M L?"

The brunette says, "A Miller Light."

Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L"

The bartender says, "What's a B L?"

She says, "Bud Light."

A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15."

The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?"

The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"

[Jolly Rancher]

A. Pregnant *-

[Oh Sheila]

Originally posted by Nanda
A brunette walks into a bar and says, "Gimme an M L."
The bartender says, "What's an M L?"

The brunette says, "A Miller Light."

Another brunette walks in and says, "Gimme a B L"

The bartender says, "What's a B L?"

She says, "Bud Light."

A dumb blonde walks in and says, "Gimme a 15."

The bartender says, "What's a fifteen?"

The blonde says, "7&7, duh!"

LOLOL

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on

[Nanda]

Did you hear about the blonde that tried to blow up her husband's car?
She burned her lips on the tailpipe!

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she steps on a scale, it says "One at a time, please."

[Oh Sheila]

Originally posted by born4porn
Yo mama's so fat, when she stepped on a train track, the warning lights went on

[Jolly Rancher]

Q. What's the difference between a blonde and a 747? *-

[Nanda]

Q: Why was the blonde disappointed with her trip to England?
A: She found out Big Ben was only a clock

[born4porn]

Yo mama's so fat, when she swims, she leaves stretch marks on the swimming pool.

[Nanda]

What's the difference between a smart blonde and Bigfoot?
Maybe someday we'll find Bigfoot.