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[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she got stabbed in a shoot out. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she stole free bread. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she called Dan Quayle for a spell check. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she stepped on a crack and broke her own back. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she makes Beavis and Butt-Head look like Nobel Prize winners. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she thought she needed a token to get on Soul Train. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she took the Pepsi challenge and chose Jif. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she hears it's chilly outside so she gets a bowl *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she got locked in a grocery store and starved! *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she sits on the TV *-

[S P A N N O W]

[Jolly Rancher]

and watches the couch! *-

[Jolly Rancher]

she put "Hooked on Phonics." *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she bought a videocamera to record cable tv shows at home. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid when she went to take the 44 bus *-

[Jolly Rancher]

she took the 22 twice instead. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she jumped out the window and went up. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she thought a quarterback was an income tax refund. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she took a umbrella to see Purple Rain. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she put out the cigarette butt that was heating your house. *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she put lipstick on her forehead *-

[Nanda]

[Jolly Rancher]

talking about she was trying to makeup her mind. *-

[Nanda]

What's the difference between a blonde and a 747?
Not everyone's been in a 747!

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so stupid she watches "The Three Stooges" and takes notes *-

[Nanda]

Why can't a blonde dial 911?
She can't find the eleven.

[Nanda]

What kinds of people don't get invited to blonde parties?
Women!

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so hairy she look like she got Buchwheat in a headlock. *-

[Nanda]

Why do blondes wear big hoop earrings when they go on a date?
So they have some place to put their feet.

[Nanda]

A Blonde's Brain At Work

A blonde, a brunette, and a redhead all work at the same office for a female boss who always goes home early.
"Hey, girls," says the brunette, "let's go home early tomorrow. She'll never know."

So the next day, they all leave right after the boss does. The brunette gets some extra gardening done, the redhead goes to a bar, and the blonde goes home to find her husband having sex with the female boss! She quietly sneaks out of the house and returns at her normal time.

"That was fun," says the brunette. "We should do it again sometime."

"No way," says the blonde. "I almost got caught."

[Nanda]

A Blonde, the Beach, and...Beer?

Why doesn't the blonde want to drink beer on the beach?
Because she doesn't want to get sand in her Busch

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of the wall! *-

[Nanda]

One day, a blonde named Sally was putting together a puzzle. She was really stumped and very frustrated, so she decided to ask her husband for help.

''It's supposed to be a tiger!'' Sally cried.

''Honey," said Dan, "Put the Frosted Flakes back in the box!''

[Nanda]

Two blondes are on opposite sides of a lake.
One blonde yells to the other, "How do you get to the other side?"

"You are on the other side," the other blonde yells back.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so flat she's jealous of a piece of paper! *-

[Nanda]

Why do blondes like cars with adjustable steering wheels?
Because they like more head room.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama house so small that when she orders a large pizza she had to go outside to eat it. *-

[Nanda]

Two blondes were going to Disneyland when they came to a fork in the road. The sign read: "Disneyland Left."
So they went home.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama house so small you have to go outside to change your mind. *-

[Nanda]

Why do blondes like cars with adjustable steering wheels?
Because they like more head room.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama's glasses are so thick that when she looks on a map she can see people waving. *-

[Nanda]

''Have you heard my knock-knock joke?'' asked the blonde.
''No,'' said the brunette.

''Okay,'' said the blonde, ''you start.''

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama's glasses are so thick she can see into the future. *-

[Nanda]

Why did the blonde take a ladder into the bar?
She heard the drinks were on the house.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent! *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so dark she went to night school and was marked absent. *-

[Nanda]

Q: What do you call a hundred blondes stacked up on each other?
A: An air mattress.

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so hairy Bigfoot is taking her picture! *-

[Jolly Rancher]

Yo mama so dark she has to wear white gloves when she eats Tootsie Rolls to keep from eating her fingers. *-