One for the ladies of GFY, How to Change Oil - Men vs. Women

[raceman]

Oil Changing Instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent: $20.00 for oil change
$1.00 for coffee
Total = $21.00


Oil Changing Instructions for Men:

1) Go to O' Reillys auto parts and write a check for $50.00for oil, filter, kitty Litter, hand cleaner and a scented tree.

2) Discover that the used oil container is full.Instead of taking it back to O'Reilly to recycle,dump in hole in back yard.

3) Open a beer and drink it.

4) Jack car up. Spend 30 minutes looking for jack stands.

5) In frustration, open another beer and drink it.

6) Place drain pan under engine.

7) Look for 9/16 box end wrench.

8) Give up and use crescent wrench.

9) Unscrew drain plug.

10) Drop drain plug in pan of hot oil:get hot oil on you in process.

11) Clean up mess.

12) Have another beer while watching oil drain.

13) Look for oil filter wrench.

14) Give up; poke oil filter with screwdriver and twist off.

15) Beer.

16) Buddy shows up; finish case of beer with him. Finish oil change tomorrow.

17) Next day, drag pan full of old oil out from underneath car.

18) Throw kitty litter on oil spilled during step 17.

19) Beer. No, drank it all yesterday.

20) Walk to 7-11; buy beer.

21) Dump first quart of fresh oil into engine.

22) Remember drain plug from step 10.

23) Hurry to find drain plug in drain pan.

24) Discover that the used oil is buried in a hole in the back yard, along with drain plug.

25) Drink beer.

26) Uncover hole and sift for drain plug.

27) Discover that first quart of fresh oil is now on the floor.

28) Drink beer.

29) Slip with wrench tightening drain plug and bang knuckles on frame.

30) Bang head on floor boards in reaction to step 29.

31) Begin cussing fit.

32) Throw wrench.

33) Beer.

34) Clean up hands and forehead and bandage as required to stop blood flow.

35) Beer.

36) Beer.

37) Dump in five fresh quarts of oil.

38) Beer.

39) Lower car from jack stands.

40) Accidentally crush one of the jack stands.

41) Move car back to apply more kitty litter to fresh oil spilled during step 21.

42) Beer.

43) Test drive car.

44) Get pulled over: arrested for driving under the influence.

47) Car gets impounded.

45) Make bail: Get car from impound yard.

Money spent:
$50.00 parts
$25.00 beer
$75.00 replacement set of jack stands
$1,000.00 Bail
$200.00 Impound and towing fee Total = $1350.00

[fyrflygrl]

I fucking LOVE IT!!

Fyrflygrl

[axelcat]

[raceman]

Hate to say it being a guy but it sounds about right, Ive just from a garage doing just the same thing........ but I did not lose the drain plug or have a beer "he he he he he"

[Odie]

and they say we're the dumb ones!!! it's much less effortless the way we women do it huh?? btw, I know how to change my oil i just choose the less complicated way...why do it urself if u can just pay someone else to it for u??? lol

[raceman]

Well I usually chuck the car into the garage, but being a qualified engineer, sometimes i just love to do it myself for fun.

[Toolz]

One incorrect part about your post:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

More like 7-10k miles since last oil change, I've yet to meet a woman who understands you need to change the oil let alone perform any other services on a car.

[sherie]

Originally posted by Toolz
One incorrect part about your post:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

More like 7-10k miles since last oil change, I've yet to meet a woman who understands you need to change the oil let alone perform any other services on a car.

May I suggest MOVING out of Michigan? lol ;)

[Odie]

Originally posted by Toolz
One incorrect part about your post:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

More like 7-10k miles since last oil change, I've yet to meet a woman who understands you need to change the oil let alone perform any other services on a car.

ummm, ex---cuse me!!! I was raised to take care of my car...I'm a carmaniac!! I even took some automechanics courses...

[Shooter]

Originally posted by Toolz
One incorrect part about your post:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

More like 7-10k miles since last oil change, I've yet to meet a woman who understands you need to change the oil let alone perform any other services on a car.

Was about to post the same thing.

[creamycherries]

Good one hon! I love it! So true! But hey, I give props to those MEN who actually DO the oil change! Get all greasy and sweaty baby and come to me for a little break!

[Babagirls]

i know how to change oil in a car....but i still perfer Jiffy Lube

[mindoza]

If you were MetroSexual you could join us! Always work smarter not harder!!!!!!!!!!!

[Smurfette]

Sounds like my man! lol

[Brat]

I like to have it changed by someone also
no mess, no headaches. all done!

[DarkJedi]

hahahah good one

[FACE]

Originally posted by raceman
Oil Changing Instructions for Women:

1) Pull up to Jiffy Lube when the mileage reaches 3000 since the last oil change.

2) Drink a cup of coffee.

3) 15 minutes later, write a check and leave with a properly maintained vehicle.

Money spent: $20.00 for oil change
$1.00 for coffee
Total = $21.00

your post is incomplete, you forgot a step

4) go shopping and spend $500 on a pair of shoes that cost $5 to make

[jhauser]

I love it!

[riosluts]

hhaha yeah its great. ive seen it a few years ago. its actually true. It takes me like 2 hours to change the oil myself. At a quicky lube place takes like 15 minutes. But its better doing it yourself because they might cross thread your screw and they add crap oil

[raceman]

FACE

If my wife was going to Jiffy lube that would be very true, I dont call her Elmelda Marcos for nothing.