Updating my resume. How do I explain a year of not working? - GoFuckYourself.com

clickhappy · 03-14-2004, 08:57 PM

I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

sumphatpimp · 03-14-2004, 08:59 PM

I was thinking the same thing myself

Juicy D. Links · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

Write you were in a rehab clinic

riosluts · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

yeah go ahead they wont check into that anyways. just give the number of the references of your friend. and tell him to cover for you

Theo · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

you can claim consulting of online businesses :-)

Mutt · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clickhappy
I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I working 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away in my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

tell them you were in a mental hospital for a year after attacking a co-worker with a stapler at your last corporate job.

chupacabra · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

your lucky, try explaining away 6 solid years of pr0n slingage..

SABAI · 03-14-2004, 09:01 PM

just write "internet marketting" " web technologies " and i m sure that if you need it quite a few company owners on this board can make a note to justify if if required.

piker · 03-14-2004, 09:02 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by clickhappy
I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I working 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away in my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

Just put you were a web developer. No need to lie just dont say what it is. Depending on the field your interviewing for no one will ask what specific sites you worked on.

spentrent · 03-14-2004, 09:02 PM

Independent contracting.

Furious_Male · 03-14-2004, 09:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by spentrent
Independent contracting.

Yes thats the basic idea. You were running your own business testing the waters for a short time.

Just be prepared to answer why your still not running that business or will it interfere in the event you were hired.

Theo · 03-14-2004, 09:05 PM

i remember when i created the resume of a friend that he was applying for a UK master degree. I put him so many references from companies that friends run that he was accepted from more universities he would ever dream of. I think only one university out of 20+ confirmed some of them.

raster · 03-14-2004, 09:09 PM

I would say you were self employed earning commissions for referring surfers to other sites

...

Quote:

Originally posted by clickhappy
I'm going to be lookin for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

twistyneck · 03-14-2004, 09:09 PM

Just put down that you were too lazy to go to work. Fuck 'em. Tell the truth.

Paul Waters · 03-14-2004, 09:13 PM

A non checkable lie...

You made a bit of coin in the dot com craze and cashed in before the crash.

You spent a year travelling the world.

Do some research to be able to talk about the places you *visited*

sickkittens · 03-14-2004, 09:44 PM

online marketing & sales?

Swiftone · 03-14-2004, 10:01 PM

Why even explain it? You took a leave from work for self discovery.

By the way, why are you going back to the corporate hell hole?

$tandaman · 03-14-2004, 10:02 PM

Try explaining never having a job

i think you are good with consulting or self employed

liquidmoe · 03-14-2004, 10:04 PM

I think consulting in the web related field works best, plus its not far from the truth, just dont mention which sphere of the internet you were consulting for and you are all set.

spentrent · 03-14-2004, 10:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Furious_Male

Yes thats the basic idea. You were running your own business testing the waters for a short time.

Just be prepared to answer why your still not running that business or will it interfere in the event you were hired.

You decided that you were tired of getting half-paid 3 months late and figured that independent contracting just wasn't for you.

Portfolio?

"Don't you see your lawn every morning?"

Joesho · 03-14-2004, 10:06 PM

Tell them you were counting Whales in Allaska, then decided too follow them to Mexico..... to see how many survived the whole Journey

69pornlinks · 03-14-2004, 10:07 PM

if you're white just say you were finding yourself...

cashman · 03-14-2004, 10:13 PM

Preganant

BuckLover · 03-14-2004, 10:14 PM

Just say you were doing porn! they will understand!

reynold · 03-14-2004, 10:19 PM

Tell him you're spending your time doing your own business
that eventually failed.

Mr. Marks · 03-15-2004, 12:09 AM

You can say that you were doing business online for a year. You don't have to be specific on what kind of business you do over the net.

you can also say that you were worn out from the corporate world before and decided to try something new. You had a vacation, went back to your old hobbies. Now that you're fully charged, you can go back to work again. Fully fuelled and energized.

macker · 03-15-2004, 12:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Soul_Rebel
you can claim consulting of online businesses :-)

Honeyslut · 03-15-2004, 12:13 AM

My resume says internet marketing and web design.

Babagirls · 03-15-2004, 12:14 AM

just lie.

they wont check.

but have a backup plan of friends in case ;)

Cr34t1v3 · 03-15-2004, 07:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clickhappy
I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

"Freelance Online Entrepeneur/Consultant".....seeking a solid career base." (It covers a myriad of possibilities.)

If you tell them you "failed" at anything that will not bode well
in how they view your capabilities in future....

If you lie and say you created sites for mainstream business
they MAY in fact do a thorough check hoping to use your skills in
the future.

You obviously have learned quite a bit about online marketing
adult sites and site design....simply tell them the truth and leave out the "details" and "content"....if they ask to see examples
tell them you consulted and offer email references. Any one of
your friends here can do up a formal reference for you.

Good luck.

runaway · 03-15-2004, 07:12 AM

Like they say, Internet marketing and web design are the best bets!

lock · 03-15-2004, 07:17 AM

webhosting and design

You hosted heavy trafficed sites applying ecommerce and customised various scripts to suit applications.

You also kept up with routine webmaster maintainence including updates specials marketing etc.

directfiesta · 03-15-2004, 08:00 AM

Just say you were in the National Gards ( preferably Alabama).

It works!!!!

Basic_man · 03-15-2004, 08:02 AM

Yeah, you worked as a "Consultant in Online Marketing"

Mike-BP · 03-15-2004, 08:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by clickhappy
I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume?

I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea?

whats wrong with telling them you worked in online porn?

strobi · 03-15-2004, 08:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mike-BP

whats wrong with telling them you worked in online porn?

don't do it

99% of times you say it straight out.. they won't even call you back for a second interview.

mpulse · 03-15-2004, 09:51 AM

You did volunteer work for the year...they love that stuff too

4Pics · 03-15-2004, 09:54 AM

tell them you hooked up with some bears and hibernated for the last year in a cave.

Manowar · 03-15-2004, 09:59 AM

Internet Entertainment

or just put

Self Imposed Hiatus

Herb Kornfield · 03-15-2004, 10:00 AM

1. Independent consultant.

If why you arent there anymore, jus tell them, in today's marketplace you found it difficult to gain traction in working oppurtunities when you had no major "name" company since so many consultants have gone the wayside.

They love to hear that you want to push their brand.

zentz · 03-15-2004, 10:03 AM

just make fake portfolio.. just find someone that will confirm that

Zester · 03-16-2004, 01:33 AM

1 year is not too much, people are here from 1996-7
think about the things you did and learned and go by that:
"Internet marketing" - you can put that in for sure
"Web development" - for sure
"Web design" - unless you did greatly designed sites don't put that in
"Web Hosting" - had a dedicated? put that in
"SEO" - if you ever tried to hit google top 10 and did a little research about it, you got it
"E-commerce" - consider this one too

remember to say this: "I always had great self-learning ability skills and an exploring mind, I never had a problem working hard, and I have learned I have creative ideas that help me wherever I go and what ever I do"

if they ask: "so why did you bail out of what you were doing?"
you say: "I need a place I can call a "second home", I need a place I can invest my self into the work, and the work place will invest in me"

the niche of marketing of which you worked in after these things won't be that important.
you can always say half truth, say you built sites and referred sales to sponsors - you don't have to say you built your own (if you did)
what niche? what was the product? "All kind of stuff, whatever gave you more money calculating the conversion"

if they ask: "can we see those sites you built?"
say: "I closed them all, I won't have time to manage them with my new job and all, as I said - I wanna put all of my time and mind work to a new work place"

BradM · 03-16-2004, 01:34 AM

You were a contract web designer. You can provide samples upon request?

And if they ask just say the companies all went under.

Zester · 03-16-2004, 01:38 AM

why are you leaving the bizz by the way?

chodadog · 03-16-2004, 01:55 AM

Just say you went on holiday. That simple.

Mr Pheer · 03-16-2004, 02:00 AM

Ask PK, she knows everything about this kind of stuff

pimplink · 03-16-2004, 02:10 AM

just say your pregnant.. that's it

loverboy · 03-16-2004, 02:13 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Paul Waters
A non checkable lie...

You spent a year travelling the world.

03-14-2004, 08:57 PM	#1
clickhappy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 4,027	Updating my resume. How do I explain a year of not working? I'm going to be looking for work soon in the corporate world and for the past year I worked 100% online in porn. How do I explain this away on my resume? I'm thinking of just making a fake portfolio with fake mainstream looking websites for fake clients and saying I worked for myself as a webdesigner for a year. You think that's a good idea? Last edited by clickhappy; 03-14-2004 at 09:10 PM..

03-14-2004, 09:01 PM	#4
riosluts Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 5,250	yeah go ahead they wont check into that anyways. just give the number of the references of your friend. and tell him to cover for you __________________

03-14-2004, 09:01 PM	#8
SABAI Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: footmaniac.com Posts: 2,880	just write "internet marketting" " web technologies " and i m sure that if you need it quite a few company owners on this board can make a note to justify if if required. __________________

03-14-2004, 09:13 PM	#15
Paul Waters Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Toronto, Ontario Posts: 4,402	A non checkable lie... You made a bit of coin in the dot com craze and cashed in before the crash. You spent a year travelling the world. Do some research to be able to talk about the places you visited __________________ Paul

03-14-2004, 09:44 PM	#16
sickkittens I am a meat popsicle. Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 25,100	online marketing & sales? __________________ HIGHEST PAYOUTS FOR NO-CONSOLE TOURS IN THE ENTIRE INDUSTRY! THIS SIG CAN BE YOURS FOR $200 - ICQ: 78881543

03-14-2004, 08:59 PM	#2
sumphatpimp Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Posts: 5,235	I was thinking the same thing myself

03-14-2004, 09:01 PM	#3
Juicy D. Links So Fucking Banned Industry Role: Join Date: Apr 2001 Location: N.Y. -Long Island -- Posts: 122,992	Write you were in a rehab clinic

03-14-2004, 09:01 PM	#5
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	you can claim consulting of online businesses :-)

03-14-2004, 09:01 PM	#7
chupacabra Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 3,626	your lucky, try explaining away 6 solid years of pr0n slingage..

03-14-2004, 09:02 PM	#10
spentrent Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: LA Posts: 876	Independent contracting.

03-14-2004, 09:05 PM	#12
Theo HAL 9000 Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Posts: 34,515	i remember when i created the resume of a friend that he was applying for a UK master degree. I put him so many references from companies that friends run that he was accepted from more universities he would ever dream of. I think only one university out of 20+ confirmed some of them.

03-14-2004, 09:09 PM	#14
twistyneck So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hanging by the neck until dead. Posts: 4,660	Just put down that you were too lazy to go to work. Fuck 'em. Tell the truth.

03-14-2004, 10:01 PM	#17
Swiftone Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 337	Why even explain it? You took a leave from work for self discovery. By the way, why are you going back to the corporate hell hole? __________________ Yo.

03-14-2004, 10:02 PM	#18
$tandaman Pimping 8EZ Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: New Jersey Posts: 3,530	Try explaining never having a job i think you are good with consulting or self employed __________________ CentroProfits.com - Make money with 3000+ Models! ModelCentro.com - Multiple award winning hosted CMS designed to run solo model sites, with affiliate program built in. Launch your model site in 24 hrs or less! FanCentro.com - Premium social network for SWs & Fans!

03-14-2004, 10:04 PM	#19
liquidmoe Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: NY Posts: 4,994	I think consulting in the web related field works best, plus its not far from the truth, just dont mention which sphere of the internet you were consulting for and you are all set. __________________ Take Luck!

03-14-2004, 10:06 PM	#21
Joesho want to get in shape Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: on the lake Posts: 12,329	Tell them you were counting Whales in Allaska, then decided too follow them to Mexico..... to see how many survived the whole Journey __________________ Got any domains to sell? I proudly host all my stuff at www.rackco.com

03-14-2004, 10:07 PM	#22
69pornlinks Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: Heranus Posts: 5,560	if you're white just say you were finding yourself... __________________ It IS what it IS

03-14-2004, 10:13 PM	#23
cashman Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2004 Posts: 898	Preganant

03-14-2004, 10:14 PM	#24
BuckLover Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: I'm everywhere Bitches!! Posts: 1,656	Just say you were doing porn! they will understand!

03-14-2004, 10:19 PM	#25
reynold Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Global Traveler Posts: 51,271	Tell him you're spending your time doing your own business that eventually failed.

03-15-2004, 12:09 AM	#26
Mr. Marks Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2001 Location: Wherever I want Posts: 7,517	You can say that you were doing business online for a year. You don't have to be specific on what kind of business you do over the net. you can also say that you were worn out from the corporate world before and decided to try something new. You had a vacation, went back to your old hobbies. Now that you're fully charged, you can go back to work again. Fully fuelled and energized.

03-15-2004, 12:13 AM	#28
Honeyslut Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Ass Valley, Ca Posts: 6,436	My resume says internet marketing and web design. __________________ http://nakedlunchnews.comWhat's up ? Naked Lunch News !

03-15-2004, 12:14 AM	#29
Babagirls Text Writer Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: Wisconsin Posts: 18,812	just lie. they wont check. but have a backup plan of friends in case ;) __________________ Need a Text Writer? Blogs\|Reviews\|Descriptions\|Paysites\|TGP's\|Stories ICQ: 397892500

03-15-2004, 07:12 AM	#31
runaway Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 1,177	Like they say, Internet marketing and web design are the best bets!

03-15-2004, 07:17 AM	#32
lock Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 5,065	webhosting and design You hosted heavy trafficed sites applying ecommerce and customised various scripts to suit applications. You also kept up with routine webmaster maintainence including updates specials marketing etc. __________________ Traffic.Tools - 40+ Free Tools Free.Marketing - 150+ Free Tools Submission.Tools - 20+ Free Tools

03-15-2004, 08:00 AM	#33
directfiesta Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec Posts: 29,803	Just say you were in the National Gards ( preferably Alabama). It works!!!! __________________ I know that Asspimple is stoopid ... As he says, it is a FACT ! But I can't figure out how he can breathe or type , at the same time ....

03-15-2004, 08:02 AM	#34
Basic_man Programming King Pin Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: Montreal Posts: 27,360	Yeah, you worked as a "Consultant in Online Marketing" __________________ UUGallery Builder - automated photo/video gallery plugin for Wordpress! Stop looking! Checkout Naked Hosting, online since 1999 !

03-15-2004, 09:51 AM	#37
mpulse Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: St. Pete, FL Posts: 765	You did volunteer work for the year...they love that stuff too __________________ when in doubt...don't whip it out! ICQ#280837216

03-15-2004, 09:54 AM	#38
4Pics Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 7,952	tell them you hooked up with some bears and hibernated for the last year in a cave.

03-15-2004, 09:59 AM	#39
Manowar jellyfish Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 71,528	Internet Entertainment or just put Self Imposed Hiatus

03-15-2004, 10:00 AM	#40
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	1. Independent consultant. If why you arent there anymore, jus tell them, in today's marketplace you found it difficult to gain traction in working oppurtunities when you had no major "name" company since so many consultants have gone the wayside. They love to hear that you want to push their brand.

03-15-2004, 10:03 AM	#41
zentz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 8,061	just make fake portfolio.. just find someone that will confirm that __________________ Programs that owe me money ---- Epassporte.com ~ $2700 \| Protraffic.com ~ $2600 \| XonDemand.com ~ $3000 Email: [email protected]

03-16-2004, 01:33 AM	#42
Zester Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 5,344	1 year is not too much, people are here from 1996-7 think about the things you did and learned and go by that: "Internet marketing" - you can put that in for sure "Web development" - for sure "Web design" - unless you did greatly designed sites don't put that in "Web Hosting" - had a dedicated? put that in "SEO" - if you ever tried to hit google top 10 and did a little research about it, you got it "E-commerce" - consider this one too remember to say this: "I always had great self-learning ability skills and an exploring mind, I never had a problem working hard, and I have learned I have creative ideas that help me wherever I go and what ever I do" if they ask: "so why did you bail out of what you were doing?" you say: "I need a place I can call a "second home", I need a place I can invest my self into the work, and the work place will invest in me" the niche of marketing of which you worked in after these things won't be that important. you can always say half truth, say you built sites and referred sales to sponsors - you don't have to say you built your own (if you did) what niche? what was the product? "All kind of stuff, whatever gave you more money calculating the conversion" if they ask: "can we see those sites you built?" say: "I closed them all, I won't have time to manage them with my new job and all, as I said - I wanna put all of my time and mind work to a new work place"

03-16-2004, 01:34 AM	#43
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	You were a contract web designer. You can provide samples upon request? And if they ask just say the companies all went under.

03-16-2004, 01:38 AM	#44
Zester Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 5,344	why are you leaving the bizz by the way?