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-   -   My friend has been married for 4 years (+kid), today he told me... (https://gfy.com/showthread.php?t=252267)

Rorschach 03-15-2004 01:20 AM
50 trapped souls

goBigtime 03-15-2004 01:21 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi
"Don't ever ever ever get married. Live free"

I've known this guy since we were 8. sounds like solid advice
Solid advice for sure.



The bad part about having kids, getting married, and falling in love (in whatever order it might happen to you) is eventually it's going to get really fucked up and turn into a big ass mess. If you believe statistics anyway.

It's enough of a pain in the ass to get a divorce when there are no kids involved and both of you are cool with the divorce.... I couldn't imagine going through one the dirty way -- with kids and high drama. Omfg.

So just be "married" without the paper.

Oh.. also be sure you maintain a seperate residence for your "wife" in the middle of your realtionship for a year or so to avoid common law marriages - paying ~12k for a year could be a lot cheaper than waking up one day and being legally married. :)


Note: Then again I am not an attorney... I'm not sure how common law marriages work and how to avoid them exactly.

baddog 03-15-2004 01:24 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by riosluts
did he give you a reason for saying that
he said he was married for 4 years . . .. how much more of a reason do you need?

Better question . . . how old was he when he got married?

Mr. Marks 03-15-2004 01:30 AM
It sounds like he married the wrong person. True, married life is not for everyone, but there are a lot of people who are married and stay happy.

Being free is not the best thing in life either...it gets pretty lonely.

You just have to be sure of what you're getting into before you jump right into marriage.

StuartD 03-15-2004 01:32 AM
marriage isn't what it used to be.

DarkJedi 03-15-2004 01:34 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by baddog


he said he was married for 4 years . .

never said that.

StuartD 03-15-2004 01:35 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi



never said that.
But the thread title is "My friend has been married for 4 years (+kid), today he told me..."

baddog 03-15-2004 01:44 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi



never said that.
short term memory loss problem? read the title of the thread

baddog 03-15-2004 01:45 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by MaskedMan


But the thread title is "My friend has been married for 4 years (+kid), today he told me..."
I guess I read too much into the title

DarkJedi 03-15-2004 02:01 AM
Okay, but it's still not a good argument.
Most marriages trun into disaster sooner or later.

wild-cat 03-15-2004 02:18 AM
The dirty rugrats as your saying right now is my most wonderfull thing in my life, I don't know about marriage cause I'm not married, but I know one thing,if dre ever leave me or we descide to go seperate way's, I will keep my stuff that I bought and he will keep his things. I don't need a man to pay for my things, if I want something I will buy it, and if we buy something together if its something he needs I'll let him have it or will split 50/50.

I hate WOMENS THAT TAKE ADVENTAGE ON MEN'S AND TAKE EVERYTHING OUT WHEN THEY BREAKE UP. Those women are a disgrace.

reynold 03-15-2004 02:58 AM
I think he married the wrong one.

Illicit 03-15-2004 03:01 AM
getting married is for fools !

I like variety, no way I could have the same old pussy every day... actually every month, I hear married guys dont get laid...

abyss_al 03-15-2004 03:02 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi
"Don't ever ever ever get married. Live free"

I've known this guy since we were 8. sounds like solid advice

...... unless, she signs a prenup

Herb Kornfield 03-15-2004 05:26 AM
Marriage is what you make it. Its all in your and the other person.

It is not magical every night and day. There are hard times.

It is not depressing all the time. There are magical times.

At the end of the day, you have to be honest and accept this person 110%. You have to put this person's needs wants and desires ahead of yours and also, be able to find time to be able to fulfill your own needs wants and desires ( all within reason)

Honesty no matter how brutal at times is needed. Its going to make the difference between years of agony or years of joy.

My friends are at the age where their kids are 5-6-7 and they are mostly all talking about " why did we get married at 22?" " were only together for our kids, etc"....yet they still go home to each other......

The living of a lie is what kills the marriage. The Marriage is not the end point that makes everything great in your lives, Its the beginning of the ride.

cool1 03-15-2004 05:35 AM
marriage sucks :2 cents:

radical 03-15-2004 05:49 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by KRL
I've been married twice. Once in my 20's and once in my 30's. I'm now single again and have a fantastic son from my 2nd marriage. I doubt I'll ever get married again.

I'll put it this way. Marriage will completely transform your life. I think for 99% of the people it turns out to be an adventure they didn't quite expect.

The main problem is when you are dating someone you have the time to yourself in the relationship. When you get married its usually 24/7 you're around each other and all of a sudden you see things in your partner that you never saw before. Little habits, mood swings, etc. This is what inevitably creates the friction that starts to build and build.

Another thing is the routine factor. Once you get married you both develop daily routines. After a while, unless you really make an effort to keep things new and exciting, for most couples things start to get boring.

But what else can you expect? You do anything in life over and over and the excitement of it fades after a while.

This is one of the same reasons when you get wealthy you eventually reach the day when you've bought all the toys, and you look in the mirror and you say "Now what?". You have to work to find things that will keep you excited. Same with your marriage.

Also you have the hormone thing. I don't know what the hell it is, but in both my marriages my wives got way way moodier over the years. My 2nd wife was a gem until she got into her late 30's and was approaching 40. Her whole personality just went 180 degrees and she became very difficult to live with and communicate with.

I'm a super easy going person and can't deal with people who get moody, bitchy, whiny, all the time. So when you marry someone and they are sweet and nice and then turn into nightmares you wake up just wishing that you'd never got married.

Marriage also restricts you if you like being with a variety of women. Most guys have this problem and end up cheating or the women cheat on them.

So bottom line its very complex when you get married. I don't recommend it until you're in your 30's at least and are in a more settled down mode.

When you have kids it really complicates the issue. Now even if you get divorced you have to still have a daily relationship with your ex-wife. Sometimes that can be a nightmare. I was lucky because my ex and I get along better than ever now.
Nice words KRL, a bit of wisdom to the younger generation!

Marriage is a huge committment

Rex 03-15-2004 06:10 AM
Every night I dream of being single.

This is not a joke. I am being literal.

boris77 03-15-2004 06:15 AM
so the best advice is....??? : Don't get married...just fuck around :Graucho

Rorschach 03-15-2004 06:26 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Rex
Every night I dream of being single.

This is not a joke. I am being literal.
Dude that fucking sucks, you have my most utmost sympathies. :(

LadyMischief 03-15-2004 06:31 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Rorschach


:thumbsup

The other morning I was sitting at the cafe having breakfast, and I saw this young couple trying to get their two young kids into the car. They had all this shit like prams, matching little baby bags with all that baby stuff in them, and I watched them get into the car and drive off kind of solemnly. They both looked trapped, and kind of dead inside. It was kind of an epiphany, it made me realise that that's what I absolutely don't want. I want to be free to have adventures, not have the next 20 years of my life stretching ahead of me as an endless chasm of tedium and "quiet desperation."
That's the problem when people marry too young, or marry only because of kids, or any of those reasons.. It isn't always like that, and children aren't a curse. It depends on how ready someone is mentally and emotionally for the whole situation, and how solid their relationship is. Some people who are married and start to have problems think that having children will solve their problems, not realizing that children can make a bad situation more difficult with the added stresses of more time and money needing to be involved in them, etc.

It's sad so many people write off the opportunities that present themselves through their lives because of incorrect biases like this. Then again, when people ARE ready, generally their minds change. If you would have told any of jact's friends he'd be the married father of three they would have told you you were fucking crazy, that he hated children and would be the worst father in the universe. They couldn't be more wrong.

Snowbebe 03-15-2004 06:48 AM
But think of the time after your kids grow up and you see them succeed in life and know that you made them. Its life, if no one got married and had kids then the world would end.

runaway 03-15-2004 07:23 AM
hmmm..... sounds good

scoreman 03-15-2004 08:33 AM
I see alot of pessimism in this thread. People want a sure thing, a bet on life they can't lose. They speak of 50% of marriages failing and of knowing friends who live in misery. That still leaves 50% of the marriages that survive and friends that are leading healthy, happy relationships.

I am married (4 years now after dating for 4 years) and glad to be. I have two sons (1/3 yo) that I adore. My life has been completely transformed (so true KRL) and my only regret is not starting just a bit earlier in life (im 37 now)with being a husband and a father.

TheSenator 03-15-2004 08:48 AM
You use this proverb to say that the things other people have or their situations always look better than your own,
even when they are not really so.

It is often shortened to "The grass is greener on the other side," or even 'The grass is greener."

- http://humanities.byu.edu/elc/studen...rbs/grass.html


Why not fuck some other girls to get it out of your system....then you will be much happier. Make sure the other girl you fuck has as much to lose as you do.

Go here to learn how to seduce women...
http://fastseduction.com/guide/

Hawkeye 03-15-2004 08:49 AM
The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.

Rochard 03-15-2004 09:17 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.
How old are you? I'm guessing under 30. I'm 35, and in the past two years I've gained 25 lbs topping out at 205lbs. I'm fighting to loose weight.

Your talking like women are the only ones who gain weight. Take a look at the average forty year old man - It's not pretty.

rjstar 03-15-2004 09:20 AM
Nah, I plan to get married not too soon tho.

Frank The Tank 03-15-2004 09:21 AM
All men say that AFTER theyve gotten married because they feel trapped or tied down

Hawkeye 03-15-2004 09:32 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by RocHard


How old are you? I'm guessing under 30. I'm 35, and in the past two years I've gained 25 lbs topping out at 205lbs. I'm fighting to loose weight.

Your talking like women are the only ones who gain weight. Take a look at the average forty year old man - It's not pretty.
The average 40-year-old man has been married for 10-15 years and has no reason to keep himself going.

But these men shouldn't have even considered marriage in their 20s and 30s.

Stay in shape, make and save money, sportfuck American women till you are in your forties. Then marry a hot 25 year old woman and have a child with her. Why waste your youth? There is absolutely no reason for men to even start thinking about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s.

Frank The Tank 03-15-2004 09:34 AM
Yeah but there is this thing called love .. maybe im old fashioned .. it just happens .. then it all seems natural .. i got married three years ago and wouldnt have it any other way

PersianKitty 03-15-2004 09:36 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by sharky
Every marriage has it's ups and downs, including GREAT marriages!

Your buddy probably had a bad day/week/month and passed on his feelings at that time...

I'm married and very happy!

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary! My wife is getting ready for our evening out now!
OMG Sharky! Has it been 6 years already!! Gawd I'm getting old.

Congrats.

Ironhorse 03-15-2004 09:37 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by sharky
Every marriage has it's ups and downs, including GREAT marriages!

Your buddy probably had a bad day/week/month and passed on his feelings at that time...

I'm married and very happy!

Today is my 6th wedding anniversary! My wife is getting ready for our evening out now!
Ouch, this is when the trouble starts.. good luck :thumbsup

PersianKitty 03-15-2004 09:38 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by spunky1
Remember this.... She gets half!
or *he*

scoreman 03-15-2004 09:40 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye


The average 40-year-old man has been married for 10-15 years and has no reason to keep himself going.

But these men shouldn't have even considered marriage in their 20s and 30s.

Stay in shape, make and save money, sportfuck American women till you are in your forties. Then marry a hot 25 year old woman and have a child with her. Why waste your youth? There is absolutely no reason for men to even start thinking about getting married and having children until they are in their 40s.
You will be in your 50s when your children are in grade school, your 60s when they are in high school. Your plan has the would be father more likely to be sitting on his ass conserving his energy and organizing his meds rather than throwing the football with his 13 yr old.

hoe_vender 03-15-2004 10:20 AM
i could have told you that

exspamr 03-15-2004 11:10 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.
rofl! :thumbsup

alias 03-15-2004 11:21 AM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.
:1orglaugh

baddog 03-15-2004 02:56 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by wild-cat

I hate WOMENS THAT TAKE ADVENTAGE ON MEN'S AND TAKE EVERYTHING OUT WHEN THEY BREAKE UP. Those women are a disgrace.
famous last words . . . both of my ex-wives said the exact same thing (in English) right before they ended up trying to take all my shit.

raster 03-15-2004 09:37 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by winter


couldn't have said it better. everytime I see screaming 3 year olds in the mall, I thank god thats not me having to deal with it every day.
Kids are a handful and mine drive me crazy some days.

But what's great is when my young one is in a good mood and without fail runs to the door to great me with a big smile when I come home. That's what makes my day.

myjah 03-15-2004 09:46 PM
aw, i don't agree with that. every relationship is different and life is what you make of it

Rictor 03-15-2004 09:48 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by DarkJedi
"Don't ever ever ever get married. Live free"

I've known this guy since we were 8. sounds like solid advice
Damn good advice.

Shortbread 03-15-2004 09:54 PM
Quote:
Originally posted by Hawkeye
The thing about 90% of most women that become mothers is that their twat stretches out and they get a big gut. They started eating for two, and they find they like it. So it's twinkies and m&ms all day. Then they run up the mastercard buying the Tova Borgnine wrinkle cream and the Bob Bowersox spatula collection from QVC which they watch all day. So you come home from your day at work, and you see this fat fuck in polyester stretch pants. "I took Dakota to the doctor and he has ADD. And Ashleigh has the flu and I think I have a scratchy throat too. And the voyager makes a ping ping sound so you have to take it down to the garage. And I think I damaged the springs under the front seat when I loaded my 400 lb ass onto it while strapping and unstrapping and adjusting and unadjusting the rear facing child safety seats while it took me 45 minutes to load and unload the screaming little treasures in and out of the car."

You see, once the woman has her two little trophies, she doesn't need you any more, except as a meal ticket.


:321GFY :321GFY :321GFY

reynold 03-17-2004 05:46 PM
solid advice is for sure

DarkJedi 10-24-2006 02:52 PM
bump for RogerV

Verbal 10-24-2006 02:57 PM
I've had A LOT of fun in my life, before and after I met my wife. She is my best friend and even after 10 years, I still look forward to seeing her everyday. We now have twin boys on the way and for the first time in my life I feel I have a sense of purpose when I wake up everyday. It's scary as shit and I'm sure there are going to be some tough days, but I wouldn't trade them for anything.

aimeesweet 10-24-2006 03:19 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by LadyMischief (Post 3622144)
Yes, but most people have an unrealistic view of relationships in general... They think happily ever after and everything should be perfect. ANY relationship is a two-way street, and oftentimes once people say "I do", they think that should be the end of it and that's the beginning of the communication breakdown. Couples that stop talking to each other and just think marriage is the answer are going to fail, period. They aren't going to be happy, they aren't going to be anything but miserable. Those couples who keep talking are the ones who are happy when all is said and done. Not only that, but having a relationship with a strong basis of friendship and not just a "Oh I'm in love with you" definitely makes it easier to weather through the bad times.

My Aunt Lydia and Uncle Gust were married for *70* years, and to hear them you'd think they were fighting all the time. But you ask him and he would tell you to his dying day that she was the ultimate woman for him, and she would say the same of him. Their love was genuine and lasting. When I asked her why once, she said to me "Because we can both take a joke, honey". Friendship, comprimise, willingness to try, all elements of a lasting relatinoship that 90% of people today are too dumb or too selfish to attempt. Far too easy to just throw a marriage away, right?
Well said :thumbsup

polish_aristocrat 10-24-2006 03:23 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by StuartD (Post 3627636)
marriage isn't what it used to be.
haha and you got married one week ago

:winkwink:

davidd 10-24-2006 03:47 PM
Quote:
Originally Posted by 69pornlinks (Post 3622111)
let me guess..she's white, he's black :winkwink:
ROTFLOL
--


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