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'...these crayons taste like burnding'
'..daddy's stomach is crying' |
Milhouse: School's out! Up yours Krabappel!
Edna: Well I'm glad the rest of you remembered that summer vacation starts at the end of the day, not the beginning. ---------- Moe: Barney, remember when I said I'd have to send off to NASA to calculate your bar tab? Barney: haha, yeah, we all had a good laugh at that Moe: ...the results came back today. You owe me 70 billion dollars Barney: mmph?! Moe: Oh no wait, that's for the Voyager spacecraft. Um, your tab is 14 billion dollars :1orglaugh |
Homer: Here are your messages. You have thirty minutes to move your car. You have ten minutes. Your car has been impounded. Your car has been crushed into a cube. You have thirty minutes to move your cube.
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Chief Wiggum: aahhh just get one of those inflatable woman,,,but make sure it's a woman thought,,,cause 1 time i,,,ah,,,,ummm
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marge - wow how fancy, they spell the addresses out with numbers!!
homer - get use to it honey, from now on were going to spell everything with letters hehehe |
Homer Simpson: Are you saying you're never going to eat any animal again? What about bacon?
Lisa: No. Homer Simpson: Ham? Lisa: No! Homer Simpson: Pork chops? Lisa: Dad, those all come from the same animal! Homer Simpson: Heh heh heh ... ooh ... yeah ... right, Lisa. But what a wonderful ... magical animal. |
Comic book guy : "oh the sarcasm detector, thats a REAL useful invention"- sarcasm detector explodes :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
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Here's the best site on the net for finding Simpsons Quotes, I could post all day: http://snpp.com/
- Homer's reminders to himself: [left hand] 939 [right hand] Lenny = white Carl = black Lenny: Plus, they'll put you on one of those organ donor sucker lists. Everyone who wants an eyeball or a spine or a vestigial tail will be after ya! Homer: Question two. Who was your last employer? Shary: Lord and Lady Huffington of Sussex. Homer: [whispering] Marge, do we know them? Marge: No. Homer: Come on! Isn't he the guy I bowl with? The black guy. Marge: That's Carl. Homer: Oh yeah! [back to Shary] So! You worked for Carl, eh? |
Hutz: Uh oh, we've drawn Judge Snyder
Marge: Is that bad? Hutz: Well, he's had it in for me ever since I kinda ran over his dog... Marge: You did? Hutz: Well, replace the word "kinda" with the word "repeatedly", and the word "dog" with "son" :1orglaugh |
Homer: "Jesus, Buddah, Allah; I love you all!"
---- Marge: "Homer, are you licking frogs again?" Homer: "I'm not NOT licking frogs!" |
50 doh's
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stand up tells a joke at a comedy club everybody laughs except Homer.
Homer "i don't get it" Magre "its a joke Homer" Homer " Oh a joke, (laughing) thats funny I get jokes" |
Skinner: I've finally decided to do what I've always wanted, write the great American novel. Mine is about a futuristic amusement park where dinosaurs are brought to life though advanced cloning techniques. I call it, "Billy and the Clone-a-saurus"
Apu: Oh, you have got to be kidding sir. First you think of an idea that has already been done, then you give it a title that nobody could possibly like, didn't you think this through... * 1 hour later * ... on the best seller list for eighteen months! Every magazine cover had ... * 1 hour later * ... most popular movies of all time sir! What were you thinking?! I mean, thank you come again. |
Ned: What a beautiful school day! Let's thank the Lord...
Chalmers: Thank the Lord? What the... a payer? A prayer! A prayer in a public school?! God has no place within these walls, just like facts have no place within organised religion! :1orglaugh |
Homer:"Welcome to the Internet my friend, how can I help you?"
Comic Book Guy:"I'm interested in upgrading my 28.8 kilobaud Internet connection to a 1.5 megabit fiber optic T1 line. Will you be able to provide an IP router that's compatible with my Token-Ring Ethernet LAN configuration?" Homer:[3 seconds of dead silence, then]Can I have some money now? :1orglaugh |
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:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh
great thread |
Bart: "When the Big Easy calls... you <i>gotta</i> take it."
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Quote:
TV was MADE for The Simpsons. :glugglug |
HOMER: Internet ehhh ?
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Quote:
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After Bart gives away Santa's Little Helper...
Homer: Well, crying won't bring your dog back, unless your tears smell like dog food. So, you can sit there crying and eating tin after tin of dog food until your tears smell enough like dog food to make your dog come back, or you get up and find your dog! Bart: You're right! *runs out to find his dog* Homer: Rats! I almost had him eating dog food! |
lol, I remember that one :)
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"I'll keep it short and sweet. Family, religion, friendship. These
are the three demons you must slay if you wish to succeed in business. When opportunity knocks, you don't want to be driving to a maternity hospital or sitting in some phony-baloney church. Or synagogue." - Mr. Burns. |
Homer: "Rockstars...is there anything they don't know?"
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