50 :Hollering

I'm from Ukraine originaly. I like borsh. :)

Your wish is my command.

Oh this is a good pet joke.....




A couple was dressed and ready to go out for the evening. They turned
on a night-light, turned the answering machine on the phone line,
covered their pet parakeet and put the cat in the backyard. They phoned
the local cab company and requested a taxi.

The taxi arrived and the couple opened the front
door to leave their house. The cat they had put out
into the yard scoots back into the house. They don't
want the cat shut in the house because "she" always
tries to eat the bird. The wife goes out to the taxi
while the husband goes inside to get the cat. The
cat runs upstairs, the man in hot pursuit.

The wife doesn't want the driver to know the house
will be empty. She explains to the taxi driver that
her husband will be out soon." He's just going
upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab.
"Sorry I took so long," he says, as they drive away.

"Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed. Had to poke
her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then
I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from
scratching me. But it worked. I hauled her fat ass
downstairs and threw her out into the back yard!"

The cabdriver hit a parked car...

I don't know who said this, but it struck me as very profound.....


"Life is not a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving
safely in a pretty and well preserved body, but rather to skid in
broadside, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly
proclaiming...

'<i>Wow! What a fucking ride!</i>'"


~ Unknown.

LOL

That's a good one! :1orglaugh

Here's a quick Polish joke, to you know... show that I am very broad-minded and fair in my ethnic and cultural slamationizings....



In America the late night news used to broadcast this message:
"It's 11 o'clock do you know where your children are?"
In England they say, "It's 11 o'clock do you know where your wife is?"
In France they say, "It's 11o'clock do you know where your husband is?"

In Poland they say, "It's 11 o'clock do you know what time it is?"