The BEST letter of resignation EVER! - GoFuckYourself.com

notjoe · 02-27-2004, 07:53 AM

This is great ... read on:

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
her boss.

Who apparently resigned very soon afterwards!

Dear Mr. Baker:

As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very

basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have

an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your

consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the

daily conduct of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the

few true genetic wastes of our time.

Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of

everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not

only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired

because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently

hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you

vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the

hundredth time.

You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as

binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand

why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even

though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an

IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will.

You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in

others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have

worked for your interview, but now that you actually have

responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent

will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial

evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats a nd

laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle.

Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full

frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation;

however, I have a few parting thoughts.

1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for

you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is

"I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over

the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be

unable to do it on your own.

2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know

every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to

get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I

conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do

believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the

administration.

3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your

mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take

nude pictures of yourself in the mirror. Then you forgot to erase them

like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never

seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have

been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing

letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate

having to correct your mistakes.)

Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my

desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your

little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never

underestimate your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what

you do with all that free time!

Wishing y ou a grand and glorious day,

Cecelia

Krille · 02-27-2004, 07:54 AM

short recap?

Babaganoosh · 02-27-2004, 07:58 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Krille
short recap?

God damn there are some lazy motherfuckers around here.

beemk · 02-27-2004, 07:58 AM

thats really good, i highly doubt its real though.

strobi · 02-27-2004, 08:01 AM

My god! That guy got balls

=^..^= · 02-27-2004, 08:01 AM

Fake
http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/zantex.asp

Babaganoosh · 02-27-2004, 08:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by beemk
thats really good, i highly doubt its real though.

You'd be surprised. I have seen some pretty funny ones. I like some of the goofy shit people put on job applications too. When I was about 19 my girlfriend made me apply for a job that I really didn't want. Under the "Special Skills" section, I wrote "I am able to lift large objects using only the power of my mind". I got the job.

myjah · 02-27-2004, 08:20 AM

a few years ago i tendered my resignation to a company that i loathed. i looked up resignation letters thru an msn search and found tons of websites with smart ass resignation letters like this one. needless to say, i submitted one that was so bad i have been unable to even drive by the building since then without getting nervous that someone might run out and shoot me. lol

Cindyff · 02-27-2004, 08:29 AM

Nice one !

jimmyf · 02-27-2004, 08:30 AM

I always used the spoken word when I quit.

LeeNoga · 02-27-2004, 08:30 AM

Way to much to read...

jimmyf · 02-27-2004, 08:33 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by LeeNoga
Way to much to read...

lazy

Angie · 02-27-2004, 08:36 AM

Well that sure told him!

Ash@phpFX · 02-27-2004, 09:04 AM

my money is on fake but its humerous anyway

Webmistress Pookie · 02-27-2004, 11:43 AM

niiiiiiiiiice.

AaronM · 02-27-2004, 11:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by notjoe
This is great ... read on:

Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to
her boss.

Hmmm.....For some strange reason.....I figured this was about somebody else.

stev0 · 02-27-2004, 11:48 AM

hahaha, nice! now that's a way to resign.

candyflip · 02-27-2004, 11:50 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Armed & Hammered

God damn there are some lazy motherfuckers around here.

Nah...just ARS sig whores getting some placement in each and every thread.

StuartD · 02-27-2004, 11:53 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by strobi
My god! That guy got balls

Cecelia has got balls?

BradM · 02-27-2004, 12:01 PM

Yeah I read this a year or 2 ago. It inspired me a lot when I wrote one of mine.

Michael O · 02-27-2004, 12:30 PM

Even if its fake its still funny

IPK · 02-27-2004, 12:36 PM

fake and only moderately funny

WankTank · 02-27-2004, 01:17 PM

thats funny, but prolly fake.

VividLeslie · 02-27-2004, 04:55 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by strobi
My god! That guy got balls

I think Cecelia is a girl... are you her former boss?

JUST PLAYING JUST PLAYING... PEACE AND LOVE.

xoxo
Leslie

insanesurfer · 02-27-2004, 05:00 PM

I don't care if it is fake. It still funny as hell.

ibuydomains · 02-27-2004, 05:07 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by notjoe
If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.

LOL

SetTheWorldonFire · 02-27-2004, 05:15 PM

I love female geeks

02-27-2004, 07:53 AM	#1
notjoe Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: Toronto, Canada Posts: 5,599	The BEST letter of resignation EVER! This is great ... read on: Actual letter of resignation from an employee at Zantex Computers, USA, to her boss. Who apparently resigned very soon afterwards! Dear Mr. Baker: As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the daily conduct of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time. Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time. You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is. Your shiny new iMac has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude. In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats a nd laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation; however, I have a few parting thoughts. 1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own. 2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration. 3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your mother's birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take nude pictures of yourself in the mirror. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.) Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public. Never underestimate your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time! Wishing y ou a grand and glorious day, Cecelia

02-27-2004, 07:58 AM	#4
beemk CLICK HERE Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Posts: 20,829	thats really good, i highly doubt its real though. __________________ I host with Vacares

02-27-2004, 08:01 AM	#6
=^..^= Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ 380-366 Posts: 6,935	Fake http://www.snopes.com/humor/letters/zantex.asp __________________ #RememberYourRoots #AaronMForGFYHOF

02-27-2004, 08:20 AM	#8
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	a few years ago i tendered my resignation to a company that i loathed. i looked up resignation letters thru an msn search and found tons of websites with smart ass resignation letters like this one. needless to say, i submitted one that was so bad i have been unable to even drive by the building since then without getting nervous that someone might run out and shoot me. lol __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

02-27-2004, 08:30 AM	#10
jimmyf OU812 Join Date: Feb 2001 Location: California Posts: 12,651	I always used the spoken word when I quit. __________________ Epic CashEpic Cash works for me Solar Cash Paysite Plugin Gallery of the day freesites,POTD,Gallery generator with free hosting

02-27-2004, 07:54 AM	#2
Krille Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Bangkok Posts: 2,436	short recap?

02-27-2004, 08:01 AM	#5
strobi Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Belgium Posts: 7,383	My god! That guy got balls

02-27-2004, 08:29 AM	#9
Cindyff Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: California Posts: 1,187	Nice one !

02-27-2004, 08:30 AM	#11
LeeNoga Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Egg & Sperm Mutation Posts: 3,043	Way to much to read...

02-27-2004, 08:36 AM	#13
Angie Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: In The Sun Posts: 460	Well that sure told him!

02-27-2004, 09:04 AM	#14
Ash@phpFX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,292	my money is on fake but its humerous anyway

02-27-2004, 11:43 AM	#15
Webmistress Pookie Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Location: in front of the computer Posts: 243	niiiiiiiiiice.

02-27-2004, 11:48 AM	#17
stev0 Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Calgary, Alberta Posts: 6,801	hahaha, nice! now that's a way to resign.

02-27-2004, 12:01 PM	#20
BradM Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: 1123,6536,5231 Posts: 3,397	Yeah I read this a year or 2 ago. It inspired me a lot when I wrote one of mine.

02-27-2004, 12:30 PM	#21
Michael O More Cowbell Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: Nakhom Nowhere Posts: 10,607	Even if its fake its still funny __________________ Truth Teller

02-27-2004, 12:36 PM	#22
IPK Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 4,209	fake and only moderately funny __________________ DomainerResource.com strategies for monetizing and investing in domain names...

02-27-2004, 01:17 PM	#23
WankTank Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: toronto Posts: 595	thats funny, but prolly fake. __________________ NudeCelebHound.com - $20 per FREE signup! 100 page Free Hosted Site ICQ - 230714394, Email - [email protected]

02-27-2004, 05:00 PM	#25
insanesurfer Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2003 Posts: 790	I don't care if it is fake. It still funny as hell. __________________ Tired of Paypal? Then give Moneybookers a chance.

02-27-2004, 05:15 PM	#27
SetTheWorldonFire Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: California Posts: 7,444	I love female geeks __________________ www.STWOFDesign.com hit me up on icq 154206276 or Skype: JaimeGizzle