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wild-cat · 02-24-2004, 02:39 PM

I like to dance. And because I like to dance, I sometimes frequent local bars and dance clubs. During such visits, I have noticed particularly repulsive behavior amongst the male species that I have deduced to be some primitive sort of mating ritual. I will describe said behavior below along with suggestions on how to avoid and/or deal with such bizarre displays of affection?

The Behind-the-Back Cock Grind

A short description:
This happens when a guy sneaks up behind you on the dance floor, grabs your hips with his meaty paws, and proceeds to rub his genitalia against your buttocks.

Why this happens:
This cowardly male is most likely too butt-ugly to approach you head-on. (Without the risk of getting a beverage splashed in his pockmarked-covered face) He believes that if he moves into a position where you can?t see him, he will have sufficient time to cop a few cheap thrills before you turn around and realize you are not yet that drunk. This move insures that his fragile male ego stays intact since he will be getting as much ?action? as his less-than-repulsive buddies.

What you can do:
If there is a stage, dance right on the edge. The second he slithers those slimy hands around your waist, step off.

If there is no stage:
Bend over fast and hard. You?ll knock the wind right out of him! And if he?s really skinny (or you?re just really lucky) you can possibly break a rib.

Drastic measures:
Fart.

The ?I accidentally touched your tit?whoops? *grin* method

A short description:
This is when a guy BLATANTLY feels you up, smiles, and then weakly claims that someone bumped him.

Why this happens:
He?s too damn ignorant and/or cheap to realize that a decent man should at least buy you a drink before he gropes you in public?most boobs are at least worth $2.50.

What you can do:
Leave the dance floor immediately. Point him out to random girls and claim that you used to date him until that bastard gave you a STD. News will spread like wildfire and he will have to leave the state before he ever gets laid again.

Drastic measures:
Grab his testicles. Squeeze hard. Smile and say: ?Whoops, someone bumped me.?

*Special Note to Men*
Just because a girl is blond and has big boobs doesn?t make her easy

The Truth Hurts · 02-24-2004, 02:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wild-cat

Just because a girl is blond and has big boobs doesn?t make her easy

yes, it does.

cypocrypt · 02-24-2004, 03:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Truth Hurts

yes, it does.

agree

doober · 02-24-2004, 04:17 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by The Truth Hurts

yes, it does.

second that

tiramos · 02-24-2004, 04:19 PM

Easy Greasy

Doctor Dre · 02-24-2004, 04:19 PM

This thing made me laugh so much when I read it first

swedguy · 02-24-2004, 04:22 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by wild-cat
I like to dance.

And I like sex. Wanna fuck?

smack · 02-24-2004, 04:22 PM

yeah most men are sad. MOST

wild-cat · 02-25-2004, 06:03 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by swedguy

And I like sex. Wanna fuck?

in your dreams

dunefield · 02-25-2004, 06:06 PM

hahaha kool info...

i think the best way to lure girls is just show em a large amount of coke and they are your best friend for the evening

Nat · 02-25-2004, 06:07 PM

works every time!
and the girls loves it, so what are you complaining about? =)

hova · 02-25-2004, 06:13 PM

Men that trie those things are pathetic, fuckers should get themselves a nice 2$ hoe and have some fun. Just keep squeezing balls and breaking ribs!

hoe_vender · 02-25-2004, 06:16 PM

If she is not easy than she wil be after a few beer

02-24-2004, 02:39 PM	#1
wild-cat Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2004 Location: quebec Posts: 908	always the same I like to dance. And because I like to dance, I sometimes frequent local bars and dance clubs. During such visits, I have noticed particularly repulsive behavior amongst the male species that I have deduced to be some primitive sort of mating ritual. I will describe said behavior below along with suggestions on how to avoid and/or deal with such bizarre displays of affection? The Behind-the-Back Cock Grind A short description: This happens when a guy sneaks up behind you on the dance floor, grabs your hips with his meaty paws, and proceeds to rub his genitalia against your buttocks. Why this happens: This cowardly male is most likely too butt-ugly to approach you head-on. (Without the risk of getting a beverage splashed in his pockmarked-covered face) He believes that if he moves into a position where you can?t see him, he will have sufficient time to cop a few cheap thrills before you turn around and realize you are not yet that drunk. This move insures that his fragile male ego stays intact since he will be getting as much ?action? as his less-than-repulsive buddies. What you can do: If there is a stage, dance right on the edge. The second he slithers those slimy hands around your waist, step off. If there is no stage: Bend over fast and hard. You?ll knock the wind right out of him! And if he?s really skinny (or you?re just really lucky) you can possibly break a rib. Drastic measures: Fart. The ?I accidentally touched your tit?whoops? grin method A short description: This is when a guy BLATANTLY feels you up, smiles, and then weakly claims that someone bumped him. Why this happens: He?s too damn ignorant and/or cheap to realize that a decent man should at least buy you a drink before he gropes you in public?most boobs are at least worth $2.50. What you can do: Leave the dance floor immediately. Point him out to random girls and claim that you used to date him until that bastard gave you a STD. News will spread like wildfire and he will have to leave the state before he ever gets laid again. Drastic measures: Grab his testicles. Squeeze hard. Smile and say: ?Whoops, someone bumped me.? Special Note to Men Just because a girl is blond and has big boobs doesn?t make her easy

02-24-2004, 04:22 PM	#8
smack Push Porn Like Weight. Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Inside .NET Posts: 10,652	yeah most men are sad. MOST __________________ Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

02-25-2004, 06:06 PM	#10
dunefield www.barely18movies.com Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Melbourne, Australia Posts: 10,920	hahaha kool info... i think the best way to lure girls is just show em a large amount of coke and they are your best friend for the evening __________________

02-25-2004, 06:13 PM	#12
hova Traffillionaire Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: ICQ:209371571 Posts: 22,430	Men that trie those things are pathetic, fuckers should get themselves a nice 2$ hoe and have some fun. Just keep squeezing balls and breaking ribs! __________________ http://traffillions.com/ Sign up and get lifetime revshare on your traffic

02-25-2004, 06:16 PM	#13
hoe_vender Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Lincoln, NE Posts: 2,018	If she is not easy than she wil be after a few beer __________________ ICQ #286508534

02-24-2004, 04:19 PM	#5
tiramos Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 437	Easy Greasy

02-25-2004, 06:07 PM	#11
Nat Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Posts: 553	works every time! and the girls loves it, so what are you complaining about? =)