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I personally don't think whether or not it was for a worthy cause is the main issue, but whether or not she even needs to ask for money. According to Heather, her sales "have doubled and then some," so my question is why does she need to ask for donations?

Because she doesn't want to spend her own money. She realized she could get other people to pay for them instead.

Are you making assumptions and passing them off as fact?

She said so herself, that sales have doubled, and that she has money in another account that is reserved for emergencies.

Even so, I would hope she wouldn't spend her emergency fund on boobs.

I was never trying to justify her reasons or her financial habits.

ALL I SAID was that she was honest about what she wanted money for and never forced anyone to send it to her. You have said enough that I know you understand the original point I was trying to make, but you are going a step further by taking it to a personal level.

I'm done with this, I need some sleep.


I hope you won't hate me in the morning :Graucho

Hell, I was only replying to your comment to me.

My ex-hubby ICQd me tonight to show me a scan of the tattoo he's going to be getting. It'll be his first and only one, and he's always wanted one. Very intricate, kinda tribal with his son's name woven into it.
He's gone to a few shops and the estimates have been about $800-$900 to get it done.

He *knows* I'm a tightass (he used to be married to me) and he knew I wouldn't approve, but he showed it to me and put up with the nagging anyway. It's something he *wants*.

His son isn't quite a year old, and ex-hubby has $5k sitting under the bed in a tiny little fire safe. It's not earning interest, it's not protected from theft (even from the son's mom who has been known to steal) and it's especially not protected from impulse spending (which he is extremely wont to do at times).

That money could do into the bank in a protected account for his son that no one could touch and would be a good start on a college fund, or even a retirement fund for ex-hubby. Currently they have neither.

But he's going to spend nearly a grand of it on a tattoo that's going to be faded, stretched, and fuzzy in a few years and look like complete shit.

***I*** have better ideas on how he should spend his money, but this is something he WANTS to do and has wanted for a long time - he's gonna do it and I can't stop him; it's not my job to stop him (although as his ex-wife and "sis" it's my job to be his concience and do the nagging, hehe).

It got me thinking about this Heather thing. And I wondered, if Brad Shaw had an extra grand laying around, what would he do with it? Probably give it to Cutie to buy herself something nice with. What about Serge? Plane tickets to somewhere strange that's sure to give him great memories and diarrhea.
What would I do with it? Pay off bills, invest it towards a house, put it away for retirement, put it away for my boys...
But as ex-hubby put it tonight, "you've always been a miser and a prude". :)

I guess my point is we'll always have ideas on how things should be done, but that doesn't necessarily mean that other people are going to live their lives the same way. And there's an old saying that if your cup isn't full, you can't help fill anyone else's... meaning make sure you take care of yourself and you're happy before you start trying to help other people.
There will always be someone more needy that needs help. Always.

But some people are programmed to give every extra cent to those people, and some people are programmed to make themselves happy first, then help someone else out... we're all different.

Do I think Heather asking for money for boobs belittles requests like Jamdin's to help with his cataract surgery? Sure, but she started her thread nearly 5 days ago before Jamdin spoke up. Do I think Heather needs the surgery? Not at all, I think her boobs look great the way they are.
I don't even fault her for asking for the money; hell I've been there, where everything you try to save up for something "special" gets ripped out from under you. Your car suddenly needs struts, or the furnace blows its compression blower thingee, or you realize that the tires are bald and need replacing... boom, there goes the money. Especially when you've got little kids. Waking up one morning to find they've both gotten into the children's tylenol and they both have to be taken to the hospital to drink charcoal and be watched for 4 hours can be pretty damned expensive, even *with* insurance.

Personally I think that Heather is making a mistake, she'll love it at first but when she gets to be 30 she'll look back and see how silly and inconsequential this all was (especially when they've had 8 years to sag again)... but she's 22. I remember being 22. I wanted to look good and feel good about myself, and heck I hadn't even *thought* of having a kid yet. She's young. She wants to feel young and look pretty, and no amount of telling her that she's beautiful will convince her, because she doesn't believe it herself. She will later, but you guys know that that type of knowledge, self-confidence and self-acceptance comes with time. Time that she hasn't even lived yet.

She was honest about what she wanted the money for. Folks gave it to her willingly and knowingly. Hopefully those same folks will give the same amount - or more - to Jamdin, or buy some of the stuff he's selling.

But either way, they are not us, and their money is not our money. We can't tell them what to use it for, or what is "worthy", or how they should be spending it.

All we can do is live OUR lives the best way that we can so that when we look in the mirror, we're happy with the person looking back.