On a lighter note..... - GoFuckYourself.com

Mike69 · 02-15-2004, 03:47 AM

1. Miss Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa.
2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals."
3. The sermon this moring: "Jesus walks on water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus."
4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8PM in the recreation hall. Come out watch us kill Christ the King.
5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of all those things not worth keeping. Don't forget to bring your husbands.
6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for tonight is canceled due to conflict.
7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you.
8. Don't let worry kill you off - Let the Church help.
9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to this congregation.
10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery located downstairs.
11. Next Thursday there will be tryout for the choir. They need all the help they can get.
12. Barbera remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and request tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons.
13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy."
14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days.
15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow.
16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice.
17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones.
18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children.
19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered.
20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch.
21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility.
22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow.
23. The ladies of the curch have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon.
24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymm sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin.
25. Ladies Bible Study will beheld Tuesday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch after the B.S. is concluded.
26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday.
27. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the side door.
28. The eight-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy.
29. Weight-Watchers will meet at 7PM at First Presbyterian curch. Please use the large double doors at the back.
30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped MY Pledge...Up Yours!"

lock · 02-15-2004, 03:49 AM

WTF GFY

TDF · 02-15-2004, 03:55 AM

did you know im black?

Mike69 · 02-15-2004, 04:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by lock
WTF GFY

Anything to get your sig out there eh?

sexsup · 02-15-2004, 04:03 AM

I dont get the point

Mike69 · 02-15-2004, 04:05 AM

opppsss missed the first line.... my bad...

These are actual bulletin and announcements made at churches.

Ash@phpFX · 02-15-2004, 04:30 AM

i read them all hoping there would be at least one funny one, i was dissapointed

klik · 02-15-2004, 04:36 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mike69
opppsss missed the first line.... my bad...

These are actual bulletin and announcements made at churches.

still not funny.

jimboc · 02-15-2004, 04:37 AM

i'm so glad i scrolled down first without reading that.

lock · 02-15-2004, 04:38 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Mike69

Anything to get your sig out there eh?

After reading it a second time i still miss the benifit of the post.

jimboc · 02-15-2004, 04:40 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by klik

still not funny.

About as funny as being buggered by Michael Jackson at the age of 12.

Mike69 · 02-15-2004, 04:46 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by jimboc
About as funny as being buggered by Michael Jackson at the age of 12.

Sorry for your luck...... must have sucked huh?

Sorry my sence of humour does not have to include RAPE, DRUGS or someone getting killed....

Don't like it....

02-15-2004, 03:47 AM	#1
Mike69 Canadian, nuff said eh? Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Under the coffee maker! Posts: 755	On a lighter note..... 1. Miss Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa, will be speaking tonight at Calvary Methodist. Come hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa. 2. Announcement in a church bulletin for a national PRAYER & FASTING Conference: "The cost for attending the Fasting & Prayer Conference includes meals." 3. The sermon this moring: "Jesus walks on water." The sermon tonight: "Searching for Jesus." 4. Our youth basketball team is back in action Wednesday at 8PM in the recreation hall. Come out watch us kill Christ the King. 5. Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of all those things not worth keeping. Don't forget to bring your husbands. 6. The peacemaking meeting scheduled for tonight is canceled due to conflict. 7. Remember in prayer the many who are sick of our community. Smile at someone who is hard to love. Say "Hell" to someone who doesn't care much about you. 8. Don't let worry kill you off - Let the Church help. 9. Miss Charlene Mason sang "I will not pass this way again," giving obvious pleasure to this congregation. 10. For those of you who have children and don't know it, there is a nursery located downstairs. 11. Next Thursday there will be tryout for the choir. They need all the help they can get. 12. Barbera remains in the hospital and needs blood donors for more transfusions. She is also having trouble sleeping and request tapes of Pastor Jack's sermons. 13. The Rector will preach his farewell message after which the choir will sing: "Break Forth Into Joy." 14. Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church. So ends a friendship that began in their school days. 15. A bean supper will be held on Tuesday evening in the church hall. Music will follow. 16. At the evening service tonight, the sermon topic will be "What is Hell?" Come early and listen to our choir practice. 17. Eight new choir robes are currently needed due to the addition of several new members and to the deterioration of some older ones. 18. Scouts are saving aluminum cans, bottles and other items to be recycled. Proceeds will be used to cripple children. 19. Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person you want remembered. 20. Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch. 21. The church will host an evening of fine dining, super entertainment and gracious hostility. 22. Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 PM - prayer and medication to follow. 23. The ladies of the curch have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon. 24. This evening at 7 PM there will be a hymm sing in the park across from the church. Bring a blanket and come prepared to sin. 25. Ladies Bible Study will beheld Tuesday morning at 10 AM. All ladies are invited to lunch after the B.S. is concluded. 26. The pastor would appreciate it if the ladies of the congregation would lend him their electric girdles for the pancake breakfast next Sunday. 27. Low Self Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the side door. 28. The eight-graders will be presenting Shakespeare's Hamlet in the church basement Friday at 7PM. The congregation is invited to attend this tragedy. 29. Weight-Watchers will meet at 7PM at First Presbyterian curch. Please use the large double doors at the back. 30. The Associate Minister unveiled the church's new tithing campaign slogan last Sunday: "I Upped MY Pledge...Up Yours!"

02-15-2004, 03:49 AM	#2
lock Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Australia Posts: 5,065	WTF GFY __________________ Traffic.Tools - 40+ Free Tools Free.Marketing - 150+ Free Tools Submission.Tools - 20+ Free Tools

02-15-2004, 03:55 AM	#3
TDF Triple OG nigga on GFY Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: in the BP4L family compound Posts: 27,296	did you know im black? __________________ Sig heil

02-15-2004, 04:37 AM	#9
jimboc Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Internet of course Posts: 1,614	i'm so glad i scrolled down first without reading that. __________________

02-15-2004, 04:03 AM	#5
sexsup Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2004 Posts: 3,004	I dont get the point

02-15-2004, 04:05 AM	#6
Mike69 Canadian, nuff said eh? Join Date: Jul 2000 Location: Under the coffee maker! Posts: 755	opppsss missed the first line.... my bad... These are actual bulletin and announcements made at churches.

02-15-2004, 04:30 AM	#7
Ash@phpFX Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 4,292	i read them all hoping there would be at least one funny one, i was dissapointed