Stupid fucking things people actually say - GoFuckYourself.com

raceman · 02-09-2004, 04:50 AM

Subject: Billy Connolly's 14 things I hate about everybody

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the f*ck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire
room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too"...Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look"... Of course it is. Why the f*ck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they?

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?"... No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'... Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short"... What the fuck?? Life is the
longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?"... If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head?

10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots?

11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate.

12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need.

13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

14.When you are involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?'Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off.

"he he he he he he"

Sig Whore · 02-09-2004, 04:54 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by raceman
13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser.

DraX · 02-09-2004, 04:57 AM

Number 5

Tala · 02-09-2004, 05:00 AM

I fuckin love Billy Connelly.

integrated · 02-09-2004, 05:00 AM

yeah he is funny bloke for sure

bhutocracy · 02-09-2004, 05:05 AM

billy is the king.

raceman · 02-09-2004, 05:06 AM

I think Billy is one of the funniest guys on the planet

body · 02-09-2004, 05:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tala

I fuckin love Billy Connelly.

02-09-2004, 04:50 AM	#1
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	Stupid fucking things people actually say Subject: Billy Connolly's 14 things I hate about everybody 1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the fck is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is? 2. People who are willing to get off their arse to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually. 3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too"...Fucking right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it? 4. When people say "it's always the last place you look"... Of course it is. Why the fck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? 5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?"... No tosser, I paid 10 quid to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor. 6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did you sunshine? 7. When something is 'new and improved!'... Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it. 8. When people say "life is short"... What the fuck?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer? 9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks, "Has the bus come yet?"... If the bus came would I be standing here, Knob head? 10. People who say things like 'My eyes aren't what they used to be'. So what did they used to be? Ears? Wellington boots? 11. When you're eating something and someone asks 'Is that nice?' No it's really revolting - I always eat stuff I hate. 12. People who announce they are going to the toilet. Thanks that's an image I really didn't need. 13. McDonalds staff who pretend they don't understand you if you don't insert the 'Mc' before the item you are ordering..... It has to be a McChicken Burger, just a Chicken Burger get blank looks. Well I'll have a McStraw and jam it in your McEyes you fucking McTosser. 14.When you are involved in a accident and someone asks 'are you alright?'Yes fine thanks, I'll just pick up my limbs and be off. "he he he he he he" __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-09-2004, 04:57 AM	#3
DraX Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: In wonderland.. Posts: 7,147	Number 5 __________________ Deposit Today With BTC - Play With Bitcoins

02-09-2004, 05:00 AM	#4
Tala Fucked if I know Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: Do you have a flag? Posts: 23,368	I fuckin love Billy Connelly. __________________ ICQ: 11120676 \| Google: mindcrime \| Skype: suitemindcrime\|E-Mail: mindcrime AT gmail.com\|PR girl with great writing skills for hire!!!! Contact me to work for YOU!\|TECHIEMEDIA? 24/7 support from some of the best techs in the biz. Tell Jim that I sent you.

02-09-2004, 05:00 AM	#5
integrated Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Location: west end Posts: 3,826	yeah he is funny bloke for sure __________________ Pioneer of .TV domains Grandfather of .TV development Respected among industry LEADERS

02-09-2004, 05:06 AM	#7
raceman Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Now offshore on an island paying a heluva lot less tax than you suckers Posts: 1,064	I think Billy is one of the funniest guys on the planet __________________ "ILLEGITIMIS NON CARBORUNDUM" <-- "DON'T LET THE BASTARDS GRIND YOU DOWN" General Joe Stiwell ICQ: 213-684-158

02-09-2004, 05:05 AM	#6
bhutocracy Not making A Comeback Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Posts: 10,218	billy is the king.