My ex used to say "Leave the seat up and die" alot.



50 baddass sayings :D

I lov ya like a fat kid loves cake

Hotter than 2 squirrells fucking in a wool sock

We shoot hundreds of girls a year, and at least 1/2 have dreams of being a porn star. They always ask what it takes to make it in the biz.

I did casting for major motion pictures for years, and saw one handful make it...I told hundreds and hundreds of girls the secret:

It takes two things to make it: in this biz or any other: "persistence and luck...and the persistent always get lucky."

Not funny, but holds true...the funny is the most unlikely ones that followed through and are now superstars

If at first you don't succeed, erase all evidence that you tried

Lead, follow, or get out of the way

The difference between insane and genius is measured only by success

It's not what you know; it's not who you know; it's who knows you

Fuck me once, shame on you.
Fuck me twice, shame on me!

it's colder than a witch's titty in a brass bra out here
im so hot i could like the sweat off a cows balls

to a girl with fuct up teeth: damn, she's got a black-and-decker-pecker-wrecker

to a girl with small tits: she's the chairman of the Itty Bitty Titty Committee

to a girl with big tits 'let them puppies breathe!'

to a black girl 'hey gurl, i can't get summa dat brown su-gga?'

to someone who spills my beer at a club (punch to the jaw reflex, additional beat down if required)

i've heard the derivative;

np man, im on it like a fat kid on cake

hahaha

If you love something
set it free
if it comes back it's yours
if it doesn't
hunt it down and kill it.






I'll beat you like a redheaded stepchild.



"What are you, from Winnipeg??" :1orglaugh

"I am out like the fat kid in dodge ball"

"I'm busier than a hooker on free hooker day"

"Man, I'm sweating like (isert name of adult co executive you don't like) at Visa Headquarters.

Lard tunderin jesus.
"by" (That's a big fucking dog, by)
squeeze-box = accordian
boughten (Bought - tin) = Purchased at the store as opposed to homemade. (Is that a boughten cake?)

God only knows how many others.

I'm on it like a bulldog on a steak!

I would like to find the guy who invented the neck-tie and string him up with his invention (by the balls)!!!

I always heard that one as:
"Well, I'll be dipped in do-do"
Has a better cadence:1orglaugh

Meh---you a lady huh!

Do you hear that one alot ?

When I need to fart:

"Babe, I have something to tell you."

When driving in the car and bored:

"Babe, why don't you play with my penis".


These are both things my little lady is SO TIRED of hearing.

Oh yeah, one more thing I say to her all the time:

"I saw you looking at my ass like it's a pork chop".

That one always makes her laugh.

When she walks away her ass looks like two cats fighting in a bag.

missed it by a c u n t hair

Bitch Bitch Bitch.....thats all you ever ARE!

His/her ass must have been 6 axe handles wide.

Lick My Crack and Suck My Sack!

Here's a moldy oldy;
'Luckier than a two peckered owl!'

"Move bitch, get out the way!"

Young Dumb and a belly full of Cum!

This is an old one ....

You can't make a silk purse ...
... out of a sows ear!


Alot of the content creators around here should take this advice!

When I used to run the Escort Agency, when people asked how's business, my general response was 'up and down' :winkwink:

Not the brightest light on main street.
Can't win them all.
Life is big.
Google is all knowing.
Fuck it.

If you can't lead the intellectuals, lead the perverts -- they are far more, and most of them are the intellectuals.

I'm sweatin like a whore in church!

If u don't like it don't look!

take a picture it lasts longer...:1orglaugh

what's the matter?? never seen an asian person b4???

did u touch my bum??

I'm as confused as a newborn in a titty bar! :1orglaugh

when someone's too stoned:

you could blindfold him with dental floss.


when a girl is too ugly:

she fell off the ugly tree and hit every branch coming down.


when a girl is is too fat:

two guys could bang her at the same time and never meet.

suck my left tit (why the left no idea)
Dont mind me YOU were just leaving

:1orglaugh

"She's uglier than a bag of smashed assholes."

"Go shit in a hat, jam it on your head. You look good in brown."

"It's raining harder than a cow pissin on a flat rock."

" I see you're full of piss and vinegar today."