Chat Up Lines

Man: Haven't I seen you someplace before?
Woman: Yes, that's why I don't go there anymore.
Man: Really? I heard it was because everyone there calls you fat

Man: Is this seat empty?
Woman: Yes and this one will be if you sit down.
Man: There's no need to get on your knees and suck me off just yet.


Man: Your place or mine?
Woman: Both. You go to yours, and I'll go to mine.
Man: That's cool, cause after I'm done shagging you in the back of my car,
I don't give a shit where you go.

Man: So, what do you do for a living?
Woman: I'm a female impersonator
Man: That explains the moustache then!

Man: How do you like your eggs in the morning?
Woman: Unfertilized!
Man: No problem, I'll just shoot my load up your ar5e.

Man: I would go to the end of the world for you.
Woman: But would you stay there?
Man: Probably, because you seem like the kind of chick that is Impossible
to shake off once you've been shagged.

Man: Would you like to dance?
Woman: I'd rather eat glass.
Man: I think you misheard me. I said you look fat in those pants.

Man: Where have you been all my life?
Woman: Fortunately, somewhere else.
Man: Just as well because I've been shagging your mum while your dad
watches.

Man: You're pretty.
Woman: Piss off.
Man: Don't interrupt, You're pretty ugly, you fat slapper.