Haha, Comparing GM automobiles to Microsoft computers.. - GoFuckYourself.com

stocktrader23 · 01-23-2004, 11:41 PM

Found this posted in that Mike Rowe kids forum..

__________________________________________________

Haha, that reminds me of this:

At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon."

In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics:

1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day.

2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car.

3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on.

4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine.

5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT."

But then you would have to buy more seats.

6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads.

7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light.

8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt.

9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?"

before going off.

10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna.

11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department.

12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car.

13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine

Dildozer · 01-23-2004, 11:43 PM

Let me be the first to officially welcome you to the internet

Gheenz · 01-23-2004, 11:43 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Dildozer
Let me be the first to officially welcome you to the internet

LOL, Yep man welcome aboard! You're only 10 years late!

stocktrader23 · 01-23-2004, 11:45 PM

Sorry I don't normally read chain letters from 12 year old girls.

Nickless · 01-23-2004, 11:48 PM

i've beaten teh interweb, the final boss is hard.

CoolE · 01-24-2004, 12:51 AM

Holy fucking 1989 Batman!

myjah · 01-24-2004, 02:23 AM

it is old, but true. microsoft is soo out to get u

01-23-2004, 11:41 PM	#1
stocktrader23 Let's do some business. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The dirty south. Posts: 18,781	Haha, Comparing GM automobiles to Microsoft computers.. Found this posted in that Mike Rowe kids forum.. __________________________________________________ Haha, that reminds me of this: At a computer expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates reportedly compared the computer industry with the auto industry and stated: "If GM had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving twenty-five dollar cars that got 1000 miles to the gallon." In response to Bill's comments, General Motors issued a press release stating (by Mr. Welch himself): If GM had developed technology like Microsoft, we would all be driving cars with the following characteristics: 1. For no reason whatsoever your car would crash twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines on the road you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway for no reason, and you would just accept this, restart and drive on. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn, would cause your car to shut down and refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5. Only one person at a time could use the car, unless you bought "Car95" or "CarNT." But then you would have to buy more seats. 6. Macintosh would make a car that was powered by the sun, reliable, five times as fast, and twice as easy to drive, but would only run on five per cent of the roads. 7. The oil, water temperature and alternator warning lights would be replaced by a single "general car default" warning light. 8. New seats would force everyone to have the same size butt. 9. The airbag system would say "Are you sure?" before going off. 10. Occasionally, and for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key, and grab hold of the radio antenna. 11. GM would require all car buyers to also purchase a deluxe set of Rand McNally road maps (now a GM subsidiary), even though they neither need them nor want them. Attempting to delete this option would immediately cause the car's performance to diminish by 50% or more. Moreover, GM would become a target for investigation by the Justice Department. 12. Every time GM introduced a new model car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again because none of the controls would operate in the same manner as the old car. 13. You'd press the "start" button to shut off the engine __________________ Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

01-23-2004, 11:43 PM	#2
Dildozer Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Montreal Posts: 7,519	Let me be the first to officially welcome you to the internet __________________ Spam link here

01-23-2004, 11:45 PM	#4
stocktrader23 Let's do some business. Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: The dirty south. Posts: 18,781	Sorry I don't normally read chain letters from 12 year old girls. __________________ Hands Free Adult - Join Once, Earn For Life "I try to make a habit of bouncing my eyes up to the face of a beautiful woman, and often repeat “not mine” in my head or even verbally. She’s not mine. God has her set aside. She’s not mine. She’s His little girl, and she needs me to fight for her by keeping my eyes where they should be."

01-24-2004, 02:23 AM	#7
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	it is old, but true. microsoft is soo out to get u __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

01-23-2004, 11:48 PM	#5
Nickless Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: homeless Posts: 1,955	i've beaten teh interweb, the final boss is hard.

01-24-2004, 12:51 AM	#6
CoolE Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Canada Posts: 451	Holy fucking 1989 Batman!