As a Canadian, You have to be extra vigiliant.... - GoFuckYourself.com

JohnW · 01-23-2004, 05:22 PM

As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement, and then carefully note their reaction:

"Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, Eh!" ".

---------------------------------

If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank look of incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once.
The passage cited above contains no fewer than 18 Canadianisms. In order:

1. pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working.

2. mickey: A small bottle of booze (325 ml.) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.)

3. C.C.: Canadian Club, a brand of rye. Not to be confused with "hockey stick," another kind of Canadian Club.

4. beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians.

5. skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers, (Snow-Mobiles)

6. muskeg: Boggy swampland.

7. duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and english.

8. deke: Used as a verb, it means "to fool an opponent through skilful misdirection." As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory constructions, such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an impressive display of physical dexterity employing misdirection and guile."

9. chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians.

10. Mountie: Canadian icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart. Always get their man! (See also Pepper spray-users of.)

11. snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)

12. ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness.

13. impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective (the alternative adjectival from "impaired" being "pissed to the gills").

14. S.O.L.: Shit outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament.

15. Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front and back. Also known as "tighty whiteys".

16. toque: Canada's official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex appeal as a pair of Stanfields.

17. chippy: Behaviour that is inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find offense; from "chip on one's shoulder." (See Western Canada)

18. shit disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur.**According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "shit disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a shit disturber, and you will do fine.)

=)

jchartrand55 · 01-23-2004, 05:29 PM

Do I qualify? I got 13 out of 18... So close, so close. I was born in Vermont and raised in New Hampshire and I spent way too much time in Montreal at 18. Phew.

tbabe · 01-23-2004, 05:30 PM

wyldblyss · 01-23-2004, 06:40 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by jchartrand55
Do I qualify? I got 13 out of 18... So close, so close. I was born in Vermont and raised in New Hampshire and I spent way too much time in Montreal at 18. Phew.

No sorry, you are S.O.L. Better luck next time!

I scored perfect! I am an official Canadian Mutt.

Mutt: Of mixed heritage.

mijoon · 01-23-2004, 07:01 PM

There's a wack of others...including the all time classics such as "hoser" and"chesterfield".

lennox · 01-23-2004, 07:04 PM

people want to be Canadian? when did this happen? fuckin' hosers

Elli · 01-23-2004, 07:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by lennox
people want to be Canadian? when did this happen? fuckin' hosers

Yeah just tell them to take off, eH?

Spunky · 01-23-2004, 07:45 PM

Who talks like that? Fuck the haters

fuzebox · 01-23-2004, 07:51 PM

I've never heard of these:

Quote:

1. pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working.

4. beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians.

6. muskeg: Boggy swampland.

15. Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front and back. Also known as "tighty whiteys".

And these I didn't know were Canadianisms... Learn something every day.

Quote:

2. mickey: A small bottle of booze (325 ml.) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.)

5. skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers, (Snow-Mobiles)

7. duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and english.

11. snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.)

12. ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness.

13. impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective (the alternative adjectival from "impaired" being "pissed to the gills").

14. S.O.L.: Shit outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament.

18. shit disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur. According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "shit disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a shit disturber, and you will do fine.)

Head · 01-23-2004, 08:12 PM

Pretty funny!

psyko514 · 01-23-2004, 08:49 PM

I'm a shit disturber

01-23-2004, 05:22 PM	#1
JohnW Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: under your bed Posts: 642	As a Canadian, You have to be extra vigiliant.... As a Canadian, you have to be extra vigilant. There are a lot of impostors out there. If you suspect that someone is falsely trying to pass themselves off as a Canadian, make the following statement, and then carefully note their reaction: "Last night, I cashed my pogey and went to buy a mickey of C.C. at the beer parlour, but my skidoo got stuck in the muskeg on my way back to the duplex. I was trying to deke out a deer, you see. Damn chinook, melted everything. And then a Mountie snuck up behind me in a ghost car and gave me an impaired. I was S.O.L., sitting there dressed only in my Stanfields and a toque at the time. And the Mountie, he's all chippy and everything, calling me a "shit disturber" and what not. What could I say, except, "Sorry, Eh!" ". --------------------------------- If the person you are talking to nods sympathetically, they're one of us. If, however, they stare at you with a blank look of incomprehension, they are not a real Canadian. Have them reported to the authorities at once. The passage cited above contains no fewer than 18 Canadianisms. In order: 1. pogey: EI (Employment insurance). Money provided by the government for not working. 2. mickey: A small bottle of booze (325 ml.) (A Texas mickey, on the other hand, is a ridiculously big bottle of booze, which, despite the name, is still a Canadianism through and through.) 3. C.C.: Canadian Club, a brand of rye. Not to be confused with "hockey stick," another kind of Canadian Club. 4. beer parlour: Like an ice cream parlour, but for Canadians. 5. skidoo: Self-propelled decapitation unit for teenagers, (Snow-Mobiles) 6. muskeg: Boggy swampland. 7. duplex: A single building divided in half with two sets of inhabitants, each trying to pretend the other doesn't exist while at the same time managing to drive each other crazy; metaphor for Canada's french and english. 8. deke: Used as a verb, it means "to fool an opponent through skilful misdirection." As a noun, it is used most often in exclamatory constructions, such as: "Whadda deke!" Meaning, "My, what an impressive display of physical dexterity employing misdirection and guile." 9. chinook: An unseasonably warm wind that comes over the Rockies and onto the plains, melting snow banks in Calgary but just missing Edmonton, much to the pleasure of Calgarians. 10. Mountie: Canadian icon, strong of jaw, red of coat, pure of heart. Always get their man! (See also Pepper spray-users of.) 11. snuck: To have sneaked; to move, past tense, in a sneaky manner; non-restrictive extended semi-gerundial form of "did sneak." (We think.) 12. ghost car: An unmarked police car, easily identifiable by its inconspicuousness. 13. impaired: A charge of drunk driving. Used both as a noun and as an adjective (the alternative adjectival from "impaired" being "pissed to the gills"). 14. S.O.L.: Shit outta luck; in an unfortunate predicament. 15. Stanfields: Men's underwear, especially Grandpa-style, white cotton ones with a big elastic waistband and a large superfluous flap in the front and back. Also known as "tighty whiteys". 16. toque: Canada's official National Head Apparel, with about the same suave sex appeal as a pair of Stanfields. 17. chippy: Behaviour that is inappropriately aggressive; constantly looking for a reason to find offense; from "chip on one's shoulder." (See Western Canada) 18. shit disturber: (See Quebec) a troublemaker or provocateur.**According to Katherine Barber, editor in Chief of the Canadian Oxford Dictionary, "shit disturber" is a distinctly Canadian term. (Just remember that Western Canada is chippy and Quebec is a shit disturber, and you will do fine.) =)

01-23-2004, 05:29 PM	#2
jchartrand55 Registered User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Las Vegas, NV Posts: 34	Do I qualify? I got 13 out of 18... So close, so close. I was born in Vermont and raised in New Hampshire and I spent way too much time in Montreal at 18. Phew. __________________ Advertising Services Representative Advertising Revenue Service ICQ: 203900800

01-23-2004, 05:30 PM	#3
tbabe Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2003 Posts: 2,494	LOL

01-23-2004, 07:45 PM	#8
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Who talks like that? Fuck the haters __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

01-23-2004, 08:12 PM	#10
Head Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Location: Starship Enterprise Posts: 8,278	Pretty funny! __________________

01-23-2004, 07:01 PM	#5
mijoon Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Posts: 610	There's a wack of others...including the all time classics such as "hoser" and"chesterfield".

01-23-2004, 07:04 PM	#6
lennox Registered User Join Date: Jan 2004 Posts: 144	people want to be Canadian? when did this happen? fuckin' hosers

01-23-2004, 08:49 PM	#11
psyko514 See sig. Join Epic Cash. Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Montreal, Quebec. ICQ: 214702014 Posts: 22,366	I'm a shit disturber __________________ Bad Girl Bucks - 50% Revshare through CCBill. Promote BrandyDDD, Pixie's Pillows, Action Allie and more! Phoenix Forum Pics \| Webmaster Access Montreal pics email: psyko514(a)gmail.com \| icq: 214-702-014