I'm surprised it took so long for someone to quote Shakespeare

My Favorite Movie!

Clerks:
Dante:
I'm stuck in this pit, working for less than slave wages, working on my day off, the steel shutters are closed, I deal with every backward-assed fuck on the planet, I smell like shoe polish, my ex-girlfriend is catatonic after fucking a dead guy, and my present girlfriend has sucked thirty-six dicks.
Randall:
Thirty-seven.

"Show me the money"
"You complete me"

Jerry mcguire

Kevin Smith is a true genius.

You can't mention him without citing -
The Flying Car


Cracks me up everytime-

"Here are the people who care" :Graucho

mmmisssster Annnderssson

"Are you gonna bark all day little doggie, or are you gonna bite?" :glugglug

"Little hand says it time to rock and roll" - Point Break

The scene in gangster number one when he smashes the glass on the guys face and hacks his leg with a hatchet etc.

"you look like you just fucked your mother"

-face off-

"What we got here is failure to communicate", Cool Hand Luke





http://server5.uploadit.org/files2/311203-0790.jpg

you will lose amerrican asshole!


-bloodsport-

The greatest scene ever - Meet Joe Black

Guy and girl meet at cafe, drink coffee and talk, love at first site, they say their goodbyes, both turning to say something as the other walks away.

Guy crosses the road, turns to run after girl...

...and BLAM!

"You ain't gonna shit right for a week" - Bad Santa

I am Jack's complete lack of surprise.

Sometimes I doubt your commitment to Sparkle Motion!

"Honey, you think KFC is still open?!"

"What have I ever done for you to treat me so disrespectfully"

This is the business we've chosen.

Sometimes you gotta say "What the Fuck"

Better make it 10, I have no money, I am just a corrupt Government official

And remember kid crime doesn't pay........well maybe it payed a little

Never bet with a Sicilian when death is on the line

Leave the Gun, Take the Cannolis

I do not have AIDS, AIDS is something homosexuals get, I have liver cancer

Best scene: When Bill and Ted melvined Death.

The Devil's Advocate

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John Milton: Let me give you a little inside information about God. God likes to watch. He's a prankster. Think about it. He gives man instincts! He gives you this extraordinary gift, and then what does He do, I swear for His own amusement, his own private, cosmic gag reel, He sets the rules in opposition. It's the goof of all time. Look..... but don't touch. Touch, but don't taste! Taste, don't swallow. Ahaha! And while you're jumpin' from one foot to the next, what is he doing? He's laughin' His sick, fuckin' ass off. He's a tight-ass! He's a sadist! He's an absentee landlord! Worship that? Never!
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That entire scene is my all-time favorite in a movie by far!! :thumbsup


If you had said TV I would have had a buttload of quotes from Garak on Deep Space Nine

You cant handle the truth - Jack Nicholson A few good men

I love that movie :winkwink:

"37. My girlfriend sucked 37 dicks."
"In a row?"

"oh, and try not to suck any dick on your way out of the parking lot!"

- Clerks - Kevin Smith Rocks!

That is a great fucking scene
LMAO snow ball :1orglaugh

Shit, I can't believe no one said this scene!

The Bronx Tale

The Bar scene:
(I don't remember exactly what they said)

Some motorcycle gang comes into the bar and Sonny tells them to leave. They say they are just getting a drink and they will be on there way. Sonny says alright, and procedes to leave. Then all the bikers take there beer, shake them up and spray the bartender down. Sonny turns around and says get the fuck out of bar now. They say no. So he walks to the door, locks it and says 'Now you can't leave'. The look on all there faces was PRICELESS! Then 5 other guys come out with baseball bats and they beat the shit out of everyone one of the bikers, then throw them on top of there bikes and started to beat them with there bikes.

BEST SCENE EVER.


ThePornPusher.

:1orglaugh :1orglaugh :1orglaugh

All I have in this world is balls and my word and I don't break 'em for no one. You understand?

-

What I was gonna say

"He didn't come" Princess Bride

"I am here to kick ass and chew bubblegum....and I'm all out of bubblegum" fuck, who said that and in what movie??????:helpme

Rowdy Roddy Piper in "They Live"

Robin hood - men in tights:

gis name is Achoo
god bless you
no.. achoo
a jew..here in england?
no achoo!

I always liked the scene in UHF where Stan Spidowski declares that the melon he was eating tasted like poop. As a child I laughed at that scene so many times. I laugh even harder at it now.

A christmas story:

'... you'll shoot your eye out kid'

"Shawshank Redemption"

Boggs: Now, I'm gonna open my fly and you're gonna swallow what I give ya to swallow. And when you swallow mine you're gonna swallow Rooster's cause ya done broke his nose and I think he oughta have something to show for it.
Andy Dufresne: Anything you put in my mouth you're gonna lose.
Boggs: Naw, you don't understand. You do that and I'll put all eight inches(knife) of steel in your ear.
Andy Dufresne: All right. But you should know that sudden serious brain injury causes the victim to bite down hard. In fact, I hear the bite reflex is so strong they have to pry the victims jaws open with a crowbar.
Boggs: Where do you get this shit?
Andy Dufresne: I read it. You know how to read, you ignorant fuck?

"A Plan is Just a List of Things That Dont Happen" - The Way of the Gun

"I eat peices of shit like you for breakfast .... You eat shit for breakfast??" - Happy Gilmore

"Oh yeah, well I'm a stand up comedian and I SUCK so I need your car" - Bad Boys

"This place smells like BADUSSY... Booty Dick & Pussy" - How to be a Player

"Who Does #2 Work For???" - Austin Powers

"I was thinking of how we could get money.. being that we dont want to get jobs and such" - Blow

"PC Load Letter"? What the fuck does that mean?" - Office Space

Seriously??

Delmar O'Donnell: You work for the railroad, Grampa?
Blind Seer: I work for no man.
Delmar O'Donnell: Got a name, do you?
Blind Seer: I have no name.
Ulysses Everett McGill: Well, that right there may be the reason you've had difficulty findin' gainful employment...

O Borther Where Art thou - I had to copy that one from IMDB

:thumbsup

Turkish: Fuck me, hold tight. What's that?
Tommy: It's me belt, Turkish.
Turkish: No, Tommy. There's a gun in your trousers. What's a gun doing in your trousers?
Tommy: It's for protection.
Turkish: Protection from what? "Zee Germans"?

Customs official: Do you have anything to declare, sir?
Avi: Yeah. Don't go to England.

Bullet Tooth Tony: Boris the Blade? As in Boris the Bullet-Dodger?
Avi: Why do they call him the Bullet-Dodger?
Bullet Tooth Tony: 'Cause he dodges bullets, Avi.

Avi: You got a toothbrush? We're going to London. Do you hear that, Doug? I'm coming to London!
[Avi arrives in London.]
Doug the Head: Avi!
Avi: Sit down and shut up, you big, bald fuck. I don't like leaving my country Doug, and I especially don't like leaving it for anything less then sandy beaches, and cocktails with little straw hats!
Doug the Head: Avi, we have warm sunny beaches...
Avi: So? Who the fuck wants to see 'em?

Vinny: Why are we stopped here? What's wrong with that spot?
Tyrone: It's too tight.
Vinny: Too tight? You could land a jumbo fucking jet in that!

Tyrone: I didn't see it.
Vinny: It's a two fucking ton van Tyrone. Its not as though its a bag of fucking peanuts now is it?
Tyrone: It was at a funny angle.
[All three turn and look back at the truck.]
Vinny: It's behind you Tyrone. When you reverse, things come at you from behind.

Every line from Snatch is funny

And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then, shalt thou count to three. No more. No less. Three shalt be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, nor either count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then, lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in My sight, shall snuff it."

Monty Python and the Holy Grail

After getting told they cant use bullets.... "Frost: What the hell are we supposed to use man? Harsh language?" - Aliens

"The map wasnt doing shit for us, so i kicked it in the river" - Blair Witch Project

"You got fired on your day off ..... What kind of idiot gets fired on his day off" - Friday

"I'll suck your dick for a $1000 .... Stay right there... I am going to go find an ATM" - Big Lebowski

"Sloth LOVE Chunk" - Goonies

Natalie: What's the last thing that you do remember?
Leonard Shelby: My wife...
Natalie: That's sweet.
Leonard Shelby: ... dying. - Memento

Leonard Shelby: [Running] Okay, what am I doing?
[Sees Dodd also running]
Leonard Shelby: I'm chasing this guy.
[Dodd has a gun, shoots at Leonard]
Leonard Shelby: Nope. He's chasing me. --- Memento

STRENGTH AND HONOR


- Gladiator -

Jaws:
boat scene (looking for shark)

"show me the way to go home
im tired and i wanna go to bed
i had a drink about an hour ago
and it went right to my head..."


my favorite scene in one of the greatest films ever!

"May the force be with you."

Star Wars: A New Hope, Spoken by Alec Guinness


"I gotta pee."

Tom Hanks to President John F. Kennedy.


"My momma always said life was like a box of chocolates?you never know what you're gonna get."

Forrest Gump, spoken by Tom Hanks


Every man dies. Not every man really lives.

Braveheart, spoken by William Wallace

Jules: "You see, Vincent, that shit don't matter. Now, it could be that God stopped the bullets...changed Coke to Pepsi...found my fuckin' car keys. You're judging this shit the wrong way. What matters is I felt the touch of God."

From: Pulp Fiction

what a movie :1orglaugh

Boiler Room:

They say money can't buy happiness? Look at the fucking smile on my face. Ear to ear, baby.

You Want details? Fine. I drive a Ferrari, 355 Cabriolet, What's up? I have a ridiculous house in the South Fork. I have every toy you could possibly imagine. And best of all kids, I am liquid.

Don't pitch the bitch.

Anybody who tells you money is the root of all evil doesn't fucking have any.

Cause your not quite evil enough. Your semi-evil, your quasi-evil, your the margarine of evil, your the diet coke of evil, just one calorie, not "evil" enough

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I haven't laughed that hard since I was a little girl.

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I didn't spend six years in evil Medical School to be called "mister", thank you very much!

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Let me tell you a little story about a man named Sh! Sh! even before you start. That was a pre-emptive "sh!" Now, I have a whole bag of "sh!" with your name on it.

Sloth: Hey, you guys!

The Goonies.