How would you deal with this - GoFuckYourself.com

Nbritte · 12-25-2003, 09:26 PM

Most remember my recent post about my father dying. But some things that were not posted were about events surrounding his death. One of the problems my father had was not wanting to eat or being nauseated when he did eat. This resulted in him losing a lot of weight in a short time weakining him considerable. We finally decided to have him put on a feeding tube. On the day of his death I talked to his doctors partner (his doctor went home for thanksgiving) and based on what this doctor told me I talked with my mother and we decided to tell the hospital not to ventilated him or to revive him if his heart stopped. We had strong concerns that his doctor had not informed us of everything that was wrong with my Dad but I read his medical records a few days later. My dads doctor's partner had wrong information which he passed on to me and based on that information we made the no ventilate and DNR order for the hospital. For 3 weeks now I have known that if we had let the hospital ventilate my Dad that he would still be alive now and that if he had had a few more days with the feeding tube that his body might have recovered enough to enable him to fight the lukemia. Eventaully my Mom is going to corner me and insiste I tell her what I found out from the medical files. If I had taken more time to go over things better with his doctor I might have know better but ultimatly it amounts to we had bad information and not enough faith and allowed my Father to die. This is something that I have gone over in my mind hundreds of time in the last three weeks and I just can not decide if I should tell my Mother the truth or just lie and not let her know

Nbritt

Alky · 12-25-2003, 09:27 PM

i didnt read much of that but,

www.drphil.com

twistyneck · 12-25-2003, 09:28 PM

Let it go.

Brad Xtremepay · 12-25-2003, 09:29 PM

Nbritt:
This is a serious issue for you I know...
Now this is my PERSONAL opinion. It will be hard to do... but I would tell her the truth. I think it would be best that way. It would be hard to do - and I don't know how it will turn out.

That is just how I would do it...

Best wishes.

Nbritte · 12-25-2003, 11:01 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Brad Xtremepay
Nbritt:
This is a serious issue for you I know...
Now this is my PERSONAL opinion. It will be hard to do... but I would tell her the truth. I think it would be best that way. It would be hard to do - and I don't know how it will turn out.

That is just how I would do it...

Best wishes.

Normaly that is what I would do but I am not sure she could deal with it one thing I know that my Dad did was to sheild my Mom from everything he could all the way down to financial problems after his death but I appreciate your thoughts eventually I will have to decide and this will help

Nbritt

Spunky · 12-25-2003, 11:16 PM

Your mom deserves the right to know.If it was a missed diagnosis or a fuck up from the hospital.Talk to your lawyer .

My condolences regarding your father

TomsPics · 12-25-2003, 11:19 PM

Best thing you can do is consult a counseler, it may be best for you mentally to tell her or maybe not too, im sure a counseler could make suggestions on what to do for you situation, everyones is diffrent and unique and requires a diffrent kind of approach.

12-25-2003, 09:26 PM	#1
Nbritte Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: Kentucky USA Posts: 689	How would you deal with this Most remember my recent post about my father dying. But some things that were not posted were about events surrounding his death. One of the problems my father had was not wanting to eat or being nauseated when he did eat. This resulted in him losing a lot of weight in a short time weakining him considerable. We finally decided to have him put on a feeding tube. On the day of his death I talked to his doctors partner (his doctor went home for thanksgiving) and based on what this doctor told me I talked with my mother and we decided to tell the hospital not to ventilated him or to revive him if his heart stopped. We had strong concerns that his doctor had not informed us of everything that was wrong with my Dad but I read his medical records a few days later. My dads doctor's partner had wrong information which he passed on to me and based on that information we made the no ventilate and DNR order for the hospital. For 3 weeks now I have known that if we had let the hospital ventilate my Dad that he would still be alive now and that if he had had a few more days with the feeding tube that his body might have recovered enough to enable him to fight the lukemia. Eventaully my Mom is going to corner me and insiste I tell her what I found out from the medical files. If I had taken more time to go over things better with his doctor I might have know better but ultimatly it amounts to we had bad information and not enough faith and allowed my Father to die. This is something that I have gone over in my mind hundreds of time in the last three weeks and I just can not decide if I should tell my Mother the truth or just lie and not let her know Nbritt __________________ SexyCityCash gets in Bed with PornoDan

12-25-2003, 11:16 PM	#6
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,944	Your mom deserves the right to know.If it was a missed diagnosis or a fuck up from the hospital.Talk to your lawyer . My condolences regarding your father __________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

12-25-2003, 11:19 PM	#7
TomsPics Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: Detroit, MI Posts: 498	Best thing you can do is consult a counseler, it may be best for you mentally to tell her or maybe not too, im sure a counseler could make suggestions on what to do for you situation, everyones is diffrent and unique and requires a diffrent kind of approach. __________________ ICQ: 8218548

12-25-2003, 09:27 PM	#2
Alky Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Houston Posts: 5,651	i didnt read much of that but, www.drphil.com

12-25-2003, 09:28 PM	#3
twistyneck So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Hanging by the neck until dead. Posts: 4,660	Let it go.

12-25-2003, 09:29 PM	#4
Brad Xtremepay So Fucking Banned Join Date: Dec 2003 Location: Canada Posts: 2,000	Nbritt: This is a serious issue for you I know... Now this is my PERSONAL opinion. It will be hard to do... but I would tell her the truth. I think it would be best that way. It would be hard to do - and I don't know how it will turn out. That is just how I would do it... Best wishes.