who else is fed up with people thinking your job can just be set "aside"

[iwantchixx]

So I got a big site to build. I am being payed to build this. As it looks now I won't be done until later tonight. Girlfriend calls from work saying we are going to her family thing around 6. I told her the night before that it will have to wait til 9. She insists for 6 "it's fucking christmas can't they wait for the site?" Wait? WTF.. does her employer have to 'wait' for her to do things when it's convinient for me? Do I even put her in that position? Nope. I have common sense.

At that point my blood was boiling. I am getting so fucking sick and fed up of my job being "bendable" all the time. I could be working away at 1pm and she'll be home for a day and piss and moan to do somehting with her. This is a JOB. Whatmakes her think I can just "do it later"?? One of these days I'm going to call her at work and start crying "I want to spend time with you, do your work later" or "we're going to the family at 3pm, oh your at work? oh well, just finish your work later" I told her I would do this too. "It's not the same thing" she says. Sorry girl, but it is.



How do you people deal with this shit when trying to keep a set schedule for yourself?

[jact]

I've been dealing with the same problem for years, and it doesn't go away or get better I'm afraid. So many projects get left unfinished because people won't leave you to your work. Sucks, but it's life.

[NBDesign]

It's only christmas eve... not even christmas... Most people work today... So, if your job requires you to work, then you work, no matter if you are working for yourself or somone else... cause, even when you work for yourself.. you still work for someone else... the customer... and the customer is always right

[Phoenix]

yeah this is a normal working day for many people.

but i hear you, so many of my friends think that my job is not serious...i can't imagine why, i work more then any of them

[mrthumbs]

amen

how about

"why not just finish it tomorow? What's the difference?"

[ModelPerfect]

Ditto. I do most of my work from 12am-6am now...keeps the phones from ringing as much.

[Ross]

Originally posted by iwantchixx
How do you people deal with this shit when trying to keep a set schedule for yourself?

One thing I don't do is post about it on GFY when everything I would type I can just say to my girl.

You gotta tell her all this.

If you worked for any other company she couldn't come to your office and demand you do something. Make your house your office. Tell her not to piss you off during the hours you set for yourself to work.

In saying that tho, its Xmas eve she might be a bit high strung and is just wanting to get everything done.

Talk to her dude.

[Monique Niccole]

I totally know the feeling....

Phone conversation:

THEM: Hey, what are you doing?

ME: Working.

THEM: So you didn't finish painting that room today? Are you going to do it soon? I thought you were going to be done. You should get on that.

ME:

I've started not answering the phone while I'm working. That helps sometimes.

[tootie]

Happens to me ALL THE TIME. I get so mad because my whole family thinks that I can just drop stuff anytime and go.

[iwantchixx]

I'd like to take people like this, train them, and set them up in front a computer, say "You'll get $400 when this site is finished" then bug them every half hour. Crank the TV. Talk loudly, bum drags from their cigarettes everytime they light up. Bitch at them to do dishes cause they are home all day and they should have time. Bitch at them to do chores, cook supper while trying to work, etc etc. I'm sure I'd get my head kicked off a few hours later

[brizzad]

ive only found one solution:

keep trying new girlfriends until something works out


took me a few years, but now i have an awesome g/f... she'll even watch me build the sites and other stuff so she can see the porn

[dennisthemenace]

gotta set hard boundries for people.

There were times when the same stuff was happening to me until I basically just said, "listen, I don't bother you at your work - don't bother me at mine".

Make them see it from where you sit. If the work don't get done, you don't make money and they can't enjoy the stuff that you get/have.

[NBDesign]

Originally posted by brizzad
ive only found one solution:

keep trying new girlfriends until something works out


took me a few years, but now i have an awesome g/f... she'll even watch me build the sites and other stuff so she can see the porn

[brizzad]

Originally posted by Afrekete
I totally know the feeling....

Phone conversation:

THEM: Hey, what are you doing?

ME: Working.

THEM: So you didn't finish painting that room today? Are you going to do it soon? I thought you were going to be done. You should get on that.

ME:

I've started not answering the phone while I'm working. That helps sometimes.

dude... i just had that same exact conversation on the phone like 5 minutes ago

[iwantchixx]

Originally posted by Ross
One thing I don't do is post about it on GFY when everything I would type I can just say to my girl.

You gotta tell her all this.

If you worked for any other company she couldn't come to your office and demand you do something. Make your house your office. Tell her not to piss you off during the hours you set for yourself to work.

In saying that tho, its Xmas eve she might be a bit high strung and is just wanting to get everything done.

Talk to her dude.

Oh this is a recurring theme, has nothign to do with xmas. I have told her countless times and yelled at her once til I was blue in the face and about to pass out. She just doesn't get it. She responds "It's not the same thing. Your home and can do everything when you have more time. I'm at work it's different"

[tootie]

Originally posted by iwantchixx



Oh this is a recurring theme, has nothign to do with xmas. I have told her countless times and yelled at her once til I was blue in the face and about to pass out. She just doesn't get it. She responds "It's not the same thing. Your home and can do everything when you have more time. I'm at work it's different"

Yep. You can talk to death at some peopleand they never understand.

[JonCash]

I know what you are talking about. It´s SO fucking annoying. It happens to me all the time as well. Both with my girlfriend and with my parents and other friends. It´s like they dont take it as a serious job and expect me to drop everything if they made some plans. And they still do it, even though I have been doing this fulltime since 97 and have more money in the bank than they will ever make in their whole lifetimes.... So dont expect it to just go away.

[iwantchixx]

Surprisingly my friend's are pretty cool about this stuff. They call me upw anting to go for a drive to another city for a roadtrip. I say I have too muchw ork to do. They never get pissy, they get dissapointed but never give me a hard time. I guess I'm lucky that way.

It actualy did get to a point where I was bugged so much I could not even pay the bills this summer. I had 0 income for a whole month. Then I dumped her and got myself back on track and getting work done. I really don't think some people understand the extent of how much work it is building sites and marketing.

I can understand that she wants me to do the xmas thing with her and her family, but she's at work right now til 6. What if her family wanted her there for 3. She'd have to say "no I can't I'm working"

I tell ya, come new years day I am sitting her down and driving this shit into her head. From the time I wake up until 10 hours later I am not to be called, not to be bugged about chores, not to have to listen to MY tv cranked wide open in the next room (then she yells at me for turning on winamp), not to hear her on the phone talking like the person is deaf on the other end. Time for some ground rules. Set the law once and for all and give her an ultimatum. Either she lays off, or she pays all the bills on her own and I move out.

The second I am making enough to warrant a lease I am leasing office space and not telling anyone where it is.

[iwantchixx]

Originally posted by JonCash
I know what you are talking about. It´s SO fucking annoying. It happens to me all the time as well. Both with my girlfriend and with my parents and other friends. It´s like they dont take it as a serious job and expect me to drop everything if they made some plans. And they still do it, even though I have been doing this fulltime since 97 and have more money in the bank than they will ever make in their whole lifetimes.... So dont expect it to just go away.

Oh man, your making me wanna cry



... this does not give me hope lol

edit: Thanks folks. Now I know I am not alone.

[tootie]

One thing that works with some people (but not nearly all of them) is to figure out how much you make vs. how much you work and come up with an hourly rate. If you make $1,000 a week and work 10 hours, then every time someone talks to you for 6 minutes say, "Thank you, I just lost $10." If they drag you out to a movie say, "That was fun! But it cost me $250!"

[Tala]

Originally posted by iwantchixx



Oh this is a recurring theme, has nothign to do with xmas. I have told her countless times and yelled at her once til I was blue in the face and about to pass out. She just doesn't get it. She responds "It's not the same thing. Your home and can do everything when you have more time. I'm at work it's different"

My husband and I went several rounds about that with almost those same words from him until I said, "How much money do you bring in compared to how much I bring in, hmmm? I WORK at home, thank you very much. You want the housework done, it can bloody well wait until AFTER I finish this project/assignment or you can do it yourself."

[infectd]

Sooooo true. Thats why were getting a nice office next year.

[Peaches]

I've been dealing with this attitude since I started working at home 7+ years ago. Everyone in my family thinks I'm free to: run their errands, drop them off/pick them up from the airport, wait at their house for the cable guy, take someone to the doctor's office, etc.

Thankfully I moved 70+ miles away so it's a little better, by my brother and SIL mentioned the other day that since babysitting cost $5 an hour, it sure would be nice if I babysat for them as a Christmas gift. Considering it would cost me $15+ in gas, plus 3 hours to get there and back, PLUS whatever time I have to actually babysit, it's a LOT less expensive for me to write them a damn check for $30-50 to pay for a babysitter!

[tootie]

Originally posted by Tala
My husband and I went several rounds about that with almost those same words from him until I said, "How much money do you bring in compared to how much I bring in, hmmm? I WORK at home, thank you very much. You want the housework done, it can bloody well wait until AFTER I finish this project/assignment or you can do it yourself."

My husband doesn't bring in any money at all and STILL no houseork gets done.

[AcidMax]

When you work from home people expect it. Here I am at the families, came down 2 days earlier than expected beceause we work from home. Just one of those things people don't consider I guess.

Just gotta deal with it or tell people that you are not going etc.

Andy

[Gemini]

Same thing happens when you work a RT job on 2nd or 3rd shift.

[Tala]

Originally posted by tootie


My husband doesn't bring in any money at all and STILL no houseork gets done.

I never said that the housework gets done, mind you....I refuse to do it and he doesn't think he should have to because he's both the man of the house and he goes out to work. Fuck his minimum wage part-time bullshit campus job.


He doesn't bother me much while I'm working now, though, which is a relief, but I'm about to tell him that if he doesn't do the goddamn housework, I'm going to start shoveling the stuff left around the house out with the garbage on Monday mornings. A few times of doing that and he'll get the clue.

[dotwind]

I get you have been sitting on your ass in front of the computer all day you could have at least done this or that. stupid fucks do you go and get stuff done when you flip burgers at wendy's .. i hate those people

[GonePhishing]

Fuck yeah, I am sick and tired of my friends and family thinking that they can call or come by whenever they want since I have no scheduled hours. They think that because I am my own boss, that I am always available to them. Of course they don't realize that my job is a job like any other. I want to work at least 8-12 hours a day without distraction

[VideoJ]

Get yourself a small office where you can have your work time. Then when you're at home it's personal time. A small office will run you a couple hundered a month, and can be a short commute away.

[Brad Xtremepay]

I used to get that a lot when I worked from home. Couldn't stand it really - I just started to ignore people if they said stupid shit like that to me.

[BlackCrayon]

i live alone so i don't have an SO bothering me there but friends call up and i say i have shit to do, im working but they insist on coming over anyhow. i should just lock the door and not answer when they do that.

sometimes when im seeing a girl she'll get all upset because i can't spend as much time with her as she'd like when shes not working. seems like she figures shes done work so i should be done too. unless they have worked from home or done something similar, chances are they won't ever understand.

had one girl who totally understood, she always made sure i had my shit done before we went out, damn i miss her.

[Meloman]

Oh man does this ring a bell. When I use to live at my Moms home several years ago it was totally like this. Just cause I worked from home it meant I can take off anytime I wanted to run any eruns she needed help with.

Now that I live on my own it hasn't changed much. We have tons of relatives that visit from Italy all the time. My mom thinks that I should be able to take weeks off at a time when they visit so I can show them around.

The problem is that people see how much money we make and combine that with the fact that it's done from home and they think we have an easy gig.

But lets face it.... all of us that have been doing this full time for years and years.... Well back when we FIRST started we darn well took off whenever we wanted and still made fat bank. Times have changed and we no longer can goof off like before. The problem is friends and familiy don't realize that.

[slapass]

Originally posted by tootie
One thing that works with some people (but not nearly all of them) is to figure out how much you make vs. how much you work and come up with an hourly rate. If you make $1,000 a week and work 10 hours, then every time someone talks to you for 6 minutes say, "Thank you, I just lost $10." If they drag you out to a movie say, "That was fun! But it cost me $250!"

You must be a blast to hang with.

Serisouly it is Xmas. i just told someone I had to work until 6PM. I could blow it off but I would also lose money as we know tomorrow night is "THE NIGHT". So I am working. I view the phone calls and stuff like breaks when you are at work. Don't let them get outa hand and it is fine.

[Rorschach]

I've just started working a completely night schedule because I realised that if I try and work during the day I only get about 4 hours work done because of all the "take me to the supermarket", "take me here", "take me there", "help me with this", "come and lets chat over lunch", "blah blah blah me fucking me." I'm getting a lot more work done now, and I love working at night, but now I have to fight off the "when are you coming to bed, we never get to have cuddles anymore. I want cuddles."

You just can't win.

[Ross]

My friends know when I work and for how long so they don't do this stuff. The only person who does is my girl and she works with me so thats cool

But seriously there are only 3 other people I will stop working for if they ask me. They are my brother, my mum and my gran. Thats it. No one else....... well unless I wanna do it

[Sarah_Jayne]

I am so glad I am not the only one. I do get annoyed atleast a dozen times a week by people assuming that just because I work from home and because they can't actually see or hear what I am doing (ie, I am not talking outloud to people) that I can just drop my work at any moment. Worst still for me is them thinking that I don't need clear blocks of time to work and that they can interupt me and ask me to do little things around the house whenever they want. I need a few hours straight where I can just sit and work or I am going to get really grumpy.

[tootie]

Originally posted by slapass


You must be a blast to hang with.

Serisouly it is Xmas. i just told someone I had to work until 6PM. I could blow it off but I would also lose money as we know tomorrow night is "THE NIGHT". So I am working. I view the phone calls and stuff like breaks when you are at work. Don't let them get outa hand and it is fine.

LOL! No, I don't act like that when I'm taking time off for a movie on purpose. It's when people bug me and bug me and bug me for hours on end to go when they can clearly see that I'm working that make me act like that.

[eroswebmaster]

Originally posted by Gemini
Same thing happens when you work a RT job on 2nd or 3rd shift.

Exactly I spent 2 years working from 6p to 4 am 4 days a week, anyway it got to a point where my whole sleep patterns were screwed up and I wouldn't get to bed until between 8 am and 10 am.

My stepsisters husband would come over and bang on my door at like noon screaming..."get up you lazy bastard all you do is sleep all day."

[bopha]

I think your girl was just stressing because of the holiday.

However, I do think it's common, no matter what your job. People who don't do 'your job' don't know what it takes to 'do your job'.

Especially net. The web is our office and it's open 24 hours a day. We don't close for holidays. Ecommerce is all day everyday. So.. when you are away from work, you could be making money. If you are just clocking in on salary, of course it's no biggie if you 'blow it off'.

I'm lucky as my other half works with me. We don't have that issue exactly but we do suffer from the "can't you come and fix my pc" constantly. I know that's not the same, but it falls in the lack of understanding of the worth of the skills that we have or even the worth what we do.

I'm afraid I'd be single if I didn't have someone who didn't get what I do and how I need to work. I feel for you.

[eroswebmaster]

Originally posted by dotwind
I get you have been sitting on your ass in front of the computer all day you could have at least done this or that. stupid fucks do you go and get stuff done when you flip burgers at wendy's .. i hate those people

I would get accused of being "addicted" to my computer or the internet from my father who has in the last 10-15 years turned into the biggest codependent person I have ever encountered.

I guess when he had his own carpet business and was out laying carpet in some mall and we wouldn't see him for days on end he was addicted to "carpet."

[stocktrader23]

Originally posted by tootie


My husband doesn't bring in any money at all and STILL no houseork gets done.

That just aint right.

[stocktrader23]

We need to start a webmaster support group for this. When somebody has a problem with people assuming we should do what they want just because we work from home we should:

a) Have everyone email and let them know how it is.

b) Interrupt them at their job all day until they get it through their thick skull you can't work with interruptions. I don't even like working when I know I'm going to have a distraction 2 hours from now. I lose my train of thought completely.

Blah!

[inthestars]

Originally posted by Phoenix
yeah this is a normal working day for many people.

but i hear you, so many of my friends think that my job is not serious...i can't imagine why, i work more then any of them

Right on. People act like working in porn is like living in Candyland. It's more like walking a tight rope. Shit can happen at any time. A Globill situation can happen, traffic can suddenly disappear. You constantly have to be on fucking guard; there is no flexibility with time unless it is something important.

[Xtreme Ryan]

haha yeah my girlfriend tries the same thing, all I did was wait until the next time she really wanted to go to the movie, go out for sushi, go dancing, wanted something in the body shop, blah blah blah and I said " I'd love to but you asked me to leave work early last week and my hours are down because of it, sorry." Now all I have to say when she askes me to leave is, can't gotta keep my hours up. or even better, yeah I'm down 8 hours already might as well make it ten.... hahaha people just dont realize what they're asking us to do when they want us to slack on the hours, not that we don't love them and we for sure want to spend time with them, but to spend time doing things we need money these days!

[49thParallel]

Damn...a post I can relate to. I feel your pain.

Every woman always says they are looking for someone with ambition and drive. But, what they don't seem to realize is that ambition and drive goes hand in hand with having to work....hard!

Why did they have to make woman so damn cute!

[Arousal Design]

It's most tough explaining to family why i cant do things. Usually, when people give me a hard time I just explain to them that even though I dont "work for someone else" ... every month my bills get paid and the money comes from SOMEWHERE.. do the math.

That usually shuts em up =)

[inthestars]

Originally posted by Peaches
I've been dealing with this attitude since I started working at home 7+ years ago. Everyone in my family thinks I'm free to: run their errands, drop them off/pick them up from the airport, wait at their house for the cable guy, take someone to the doctor's office, etc.

Thankfully I moved 70+ miles away so it's a little better, by my brother and SIL mentioned the other day that since babysitting cost $5 an hour, it sure would be nice if I babysat for them as a Christmas gift. Considering it would cost me $15+ in gas, plus 3 hours to get there and back, PLUS whatever time I have to actually babysit, it's a LOT less expensive for me to write them a damn check for $30-50 to pay for a babysitter!

Damn, they think that you are the errand girl just because you work from home! That's sooooo wrong.

[Sarah_Jayne]

Originally posted by stocktrader23


b) Interrupt them at their job all day until they get it through their thick skull you can't work with interruptions. I don't even like working when I know I'm going to have a distraction 2 hours from now. I lose my train of thought completely.

Exactly! I can't even stand my cat interupting me. When I am designing sites I want to know that I can sit and fiddle with things and have a clear working path until I feel like stopping.

I also hate when I am sick or something and people say 'well you are lucky you work from home, then'. They don't seem to realise that every day I don't build sites I am not getting that money. The land of sick pay is such a comfortable one.

[xxxoutsourcing]

Well it's working to live and not living to work so i delegate my tasks now.

I got a great girl now who understands and never gives me any shit when it comes to work anyways.

My last girl just did not get it so BYE THEN.....