Recipe for Mexican Fruitcake

[sperbonzo]

With the holidays coming, here's a MEXICAN fruitcake recipe that will
help
take the stress out of this normally stressful time:

Ingredients:
1 cup water
1 cup sugar
4 large eggs
2 cups dried fruit
1 tsp salt
1 cup brown sugar
3 oz lemon juice
1 cup nuts
1 gallon Tequila

First, sample the Tequila to check for freshness. Take a large bowl.
Check
the Tequila again to be sure it is of the highest quality. You know we
cannot trust anybody these days. Pour 1 level cup of the Tequila and drink
it.
Repeat. Repeat again. Turn on the electric mixer; beat 1 cup of butter
in a
large fluffy bowl. Add water, eggs and 1 tsp sugar and beat again. Make
surr the Tequila is still OK. Cry another tup. Turn off mixers. Chuck
in
the cup of dried fruit or something. Mix on the turner. If the fried
druit
gets struck on the beaterers, pry it loose with a drewsciver. Sample
the
Tequila to check for tonsistancity. Next, sniff two cups of salt. Or
something. Who cares? Check theTequila . Now sniff the lemon juice and
strain your nuts. Add one table spoon of sugar or something. Whatever.
Grease the oven. Turn the cake tin 350 degrees. Don't forget to beat
off
the turner. Whip the bowl out the window. Check theTequila again. Go
to
bed. Who the h!** likes fruitcake anyway!?