Why has god created blonds?
Simply because chicken and plastic-dolls can't fetch you a beer from the refrigerator

A guy is walking down the beach when he comes across a girl with no arms and no legs crying uncontrollably he calms her down and asks whats wrong she says ive never been huged before he says is that all picks her up gives her a hug then sets her down and goes on his way.

Next day same thing hes walking down the beach and sees this girl again and shes crying again he says now whats wrong. She says ive never been kissed before. So he picks her up and gives her a kiss and she stops crying so he puts her back down and goes on his way.


Next day same thing walking down the beach he sees the same girl crying again by now hes thinking this is getting old but ill try it one more time. He walks up to her and says now whats wrong. she says ive never been fucked before. so he picks her up runs down to the water throws her as far as he can and yells NOW YOURE FUCKED!!

Q: How many kids with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?









A: WANNA RIDE BIKES?

I've always liked these two even though they are stupid.
You have to ask a friend and catch them off guard on these two.

#1
You go up to your friend and say hey man if you woke up dizzy in the morning in the woods and had a really bad hangover and your asshole hurt like crazy and you were really puzzled why and you felt some slimy vasoline on your asshole, would you EVER EVER tell anyone?

Friend says:
No for sure I"d not tell anyone!

Wanna go camping sometime?


#2 90% of men don't masturbate in the shower, but to relieve stress they all sing the same song. The other 10% don't sing just rub one out every morning in the shower.

What song do they sing?


Your friend most likely will
shrug his shoulders and reply,
"I don't know."

I like madcaps
and also the rough sex one is so simple, but yet so funny and even funnier since it's true and you want to picture it in your head.

Do you know how Ricky Martin gets rid of a condom after sex?


He Farts..



----------
Mickey Mouse: Minnie.. I want to divorce
Minnie: What? Are you Fucking Crazy?
Mickey: Daisy.. Im fucking Daisy !


if i win.. let me know

I'll give my favorite little joke...

A guy goes to a bar one night and asks for a beer, he then asks for a couple of shots, he gets pretty wasted and ends up having a lot more to drink than he anticipated. So, he goes home. A couple of days later he comes in and the bartender says "What'll have?" The patron replies "One beer and one beer only." The bartender looks confused and asked why. The patron said "No reason." The bartender looks at him and says "Come on, you tell a bartender anything." So the patron says "Okay, remember the other night when I left here all shitfaced? Well, I went home and blew Chunks." The bartender replies "Well, you drank a lot, that doesn't surprise me." The patron goes "No, no, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."

I'll give my favorite little joke...

A guy goes to a bar one night and asks for a beer, he then asks for a couple of shots, he gets pretty wasted and ends up having a lot more to drink than he anticipated. So, he goes home. A couple of days later he comes in and the bartender says "What'll have?" The patron replies "One beer and one beer only." The bartender looks confused and asked why. The patron said "No reason." The bartender looks at him and says "Come on, you tell a bartender anything." So the patron says "Okay, remember the other night when I left here all shitfaced? Well, I went home and blew Chunks." The bartender replies "Well, you drank a lot, that doesn't surprise me." The patron goes "No, no, you don't understand, Chunks is my dog."


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ICQ 192065572

Mickey Mouse: Minnie.. I want to divorce
Minnie: What? Are you Fucking Crazy?
Mickey: Daisy.. Im fucking Daisy !


LOL Not Bad contact me for your free month 192065572

Look down into your shorts ---> that's a joke dude !

OHHHHHHHHHH What a big man you are. Let me buy you a pack of gum, I will show you how to chew it.

50

There was a guy who was struggling to decide what to wear to go to a fancy costume party... Then he had a bright idea.
When the host answered the door, he found the guy standing there with no shirt and no socks on.
"What the hell are you supposed to be?" asked the host.
"A premature ejaculation," said the man. "I just came in my pants!"

That is just damn funny. :thumbsup

What is the differance between like and love?

Spit or swallow :)