Groaner of the week - GoFuckYourself.com

CDSmith · 11-25-2003, 06:22 PM

A group of office co-workers decided one day to share a ride
to work. What they did not realize was that they also shared the same
fear --claustrophobia. As they were driving through a mountain tunnel,
all began to scream wildly! The car went out of control, but finally,
they were able to slow down and pull over to the side of the road. A
psychologist who was driving behind the car saw everything and stopped
to see if he could help. He immediately ascertained what the problem
was -- they were suffering from carpool tunnel syndrome.

<img SRC="http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif">

Got groaner?

dirtyone · 11-25-2003, 06:26 PM

AAARRRGGGHH!!!

StuartD · 11-25-2003, 06:28 PM

myjah · 11-25-2003, 06:32 PM

haha - hadn't heard that yet.

CDSmith · 11-25-2003, 11:04 PM

A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road
strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a
cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang
the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I
think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit
yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."

Okay fuck you, that was funny.

CaroMark · 11-25-2003, 11:07 PM

konduct · 11-25-2003, 11:09 PM

serious · 11-25-2003, 11:10 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by CDSmith
A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road
strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a
cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang
the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I
think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit
yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back."

Okay fuck you, that was funny.

i agree

volante · 11-25-2003, 11:26 PM

Two little kids are in the hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the operating room.

The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in for?"

The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous."

The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze."

The second kid then says, "What are you here for?"

The first kid says, "A circumcision."

And the second kid says, "Whoa, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

volante · 11-25-2003, 11:31 PM

After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent out word through the streets of Paris that he needed a new bell ringer. He chose to audition applicants for the job himself, and climbed up into the belfry tower with the first handful that applied.

Having heard and dismissed each of them, he was about to call it a day when an armless man came dashing up the stairs and exclaimed, "Our Grace, please allow me to audition as your bell ringer!"

The Bishop was stunned. "But, my good man, you have no arms."

"No matter," the man said, "Observe!" as he rushed to the carillon and started striking the bells with his face. He played beautifully, stepping quickly from one bell to another when he suddenly tripped over something and fell out of the tower to his death on the street below.

The bishop rushed downstairs, and the cluster of people parted to let him reach the dead man's side. As the bishop bent over his crumpled body to bless it, an onlooker asked, "Bishop, who is this dead man?"

"I don't know his name," he said sadly, "But his face rings a bell."

The next day, the bishop resumed his auditioning of bell ringers, and the first applicant said, "Your Grace, I am the twin brother of the poor, armless wretch who fell from your belfry to his death yesterday. I would be honored to be your bell ringer in his memory."

The bishop welcomed him to audition, and the twin went over to pick up the mallet used to strike the bells. As he bent over, he groaned suddenly, clutched his chest, and fell to the floor dead.

The monks below heard the bishop's cry of grief and rushed up to the belfry, bursting upon the tragic scene. One of them asked, "Your Grace, who is this dead man?"

"I don't know his name," the bishop said sadly, "But he's a dead ringer for his brother."

volante · 11-25-2003, 11:34 PM

A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

CDSmith · 11-26-2003, 12:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by volante
A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

GRROAAANNNN......... damn, good one man.

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had
prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little
worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing. "Doctor,
the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm afraid
that you're giving me too much. I've started growing hair in places that
I've never grown hair before." The doctor reassured her, "A little hair
growth is a perfectly normal side effect of testosterone. Just where has
this hair appeared?" "On my balls."

silent moan · 11-26-2003, 01:52 AM

lol...funny thread

11-25-2003, 06:22 PM	#1
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Groaner of the week A group of office co-workers decided one day to share a ride to work. What they did not realize was that they also shared the same fear --claustrophobia. As they were driving through a mountain tunnel, all began to scream wildly! The car went out of control, but finally, they were able to slow down and pull over to the side of the road. A psychologist who was driving behind the car saw everything and stopped to see if he could help. He immediately ascertained what the problem was -- they were suffering from carpool tunnel syndrome. <img SRC="http://bbs.gofuckyourself.net/board/biggrin.gif"> Got groaner? __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

11-25-2003, 06:28 PM	#3
StuartD Sofa King Band Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Outside the box Posts: 29,903	__________________ This is me on facebook This is me on twitter

11-25-2003, 06:32 PM	#4
myjah Back in the harbor Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2003 Posts: 11,482	haha - hadn't heard that yet. __________________ VP of Marketing AVN Media Network Skype: AVNJill [email protected]

11-25-2003, 11:04 PM	#5
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	A man was driving down a quiet country lane when out into the road strayed a rooster. Whack! The rooster disappeared under the car in a cloud of feathers. Shaken, the man pulled over at the farmhouse and rang the doorbell. A farmer appeared. The man somewhat nervously said, "I think I killed your rooster, please allow me to replace him." "Suit yourself," the farmer replied, "the hens are round the back." Okay fuck you, that was funny. __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

11-25-2003, 11:07 PM	#6
CaroMark Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Tampa, Florida Posts: 1,357	__________________ Mark M, 727-433-0745 [email protected] Support is everything! ICQ# 40467849, AIM MMemmer333

11-25-2003, 06:26 PM	#2
dirtyone Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: God's Country (Georgia) Posts: 3,706	AAARRRGGGHH!!!

11-25-2003, 11:09 PM	#7
konduct Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: NYC Posts: 326

11-25-2003, 11:26 PM	#9
volante Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LAX Immigration Posts: 2,940	Two little kids are in the hospital, lying on beds next to each other outside the operating room. The first kid leans over and asks, "What are you in for?" The second kid says, "I'm in here to get my tonsils out and I'm a little nervous." The first kid says, "You've got nothing to worry about. I had that done when I was four. They put you to sleep, and when you wake up they give you lots of Jell-O and ice cream. It's a breeze." The second kid then says, "What are you here for?" The first kid says, "A circumcision." And the second kid says, "Whoa, I had that done when I was born. Couldn't walk for a year."

11-25-2003, 11:31 PM	#10
volante Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LAX Immigration Posts: 2,940	After Quasimodo's death, the bishop of the Cathedral of Notre Dame sent out word through the streets of Paris that he needed a new bell ringer. He chose to audition applicants for the job himself, and climbed up into the belfry tower with the first handful that applied. Having heard and dismissed each of them, he was about to call it a day when an armless man came dashing up the stairs and exclaimed, "Our Grace, please allow me to audition as your bell ringer!" The Bishop was stunned. "But, my good man, you have no arms." "No matter," the man said, "Observe!" as he rushed to the carillon and started striking the bells with his face. He played beautifully, stepping quickly from one bell to another when he suddenly tripped over something and fell out of the tower to his death on the street below. The bishop rushed downstairs, and the cluster of people parted to let him reach the dead man's side. As the bishop bent over his crumpled body to bless it, an onlooker asked, "Bishop, who is this dead man?" "I don't know his name," he said sadly, "But his face rings a bell." The next day, the bishop resumed his auditioning of bell ringers, and the first applicant said, "Your Grace, I am the twin brother of the poor, armless wretch who fell from your belfry to his death yesterday. I would be honored to be your bell ringer in his memory." The bishop welcomed him to audition, and the twin went over to pick up the mallet used to strike the bells. As he bent over, he groaned suddenly, clutched his chest, and fell to the floor dead. The monks below heard the bishop's cry of grief and rushed up to the belfry, bursting upon the tragic scene. One of them asked, "Your Grace, who is this dead man?" "I don't know his name," the bishop said sadly, "But he's a dead ringer for his brother."

11-25-2003, 11:34 PM	#11
volante Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: LAX Immigration Posts: 2,940	A marine biologist developed a race of genetically engineered dolphins that could live forever if they were fed a steady diet of seagulls. One day his supply of the birds ran out, so he had to go out and trap some more. On the way back, he spied two lions asleep on the road. Afraid to wake them, he gingerly stepped over them. Immediately, he was arrested and charged with transporting gulls across sedate lions for immortal porpoises.

11-26-2003, 01:52 AM	#13
silent moan Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2003 Posts: 1,908	lol...funny thread