Best Michael Jackson jokes... - GoFuckYourself.com

suesheboy · 11-21-2003, 06:16 PM

Let's hear them!

Electronic Guy · 11-21-2003, 06:16 PM

racist

Bansheelinks · 11-21-2003, 06:19 PM

Why, on the farm, does Michael Jackson like to hang out by the chicken coop all the time?

So he can look at all those little cocks.

SENSEX · 11-21-2003, 06:26 PM

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing?.

Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!

Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.

Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony?
A. Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few
stories.

Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose?
A. From a catalogue.

Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book?
A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing?.

Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party?
A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house.

Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have in common?
A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason.

Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart?
A: He heard boys' pants were half-off!

Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson?
A. Michael Jackson has had more noses.

Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson?s house?
A. When the big hand is on the little hand!

Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common?
A. They both ride three year olds.

Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants?
A. Michael Jackson's makeup.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little
friends leaves?
A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick.

Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson?
A. I believe you?re in my son.

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?
A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries.

Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10?
A. Two 5 year olds.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own?
A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop!

Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper?
A: Michael Jackson's hand!

Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket?
A: His other hand!

Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning?
A: Throw him a buoy!

Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns!

Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson?
A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song!

Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans?
A: Michael Jackson!

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor?
A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke.

Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor started?
A: The Ignited Negro College Fund!

Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson?
A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!!

Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about?
A. Blowing his first nose.

Q. Who is the greatest person ever?
A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up
to become a rich white woman in Europe.

Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television?
A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!"

Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed?
A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!"

Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley?
A. About two dress sizes.

Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night?
A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own."

Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson?
A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out.
A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over.
A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones.
A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road?
A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in.

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small?
A: Because they aren't his!

Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble?
A. He was feeling a little Randy.

Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much?
A. He knows how they feel.

Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug
rehab?
A. You know, I feel like a new boy!

Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty?
A. Several children have fingered him.

Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date?
A. Boys 'R Us.

Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough?
A. He can lick any kid on the block.

Knock Knock!
Who's There?
Little boy blue!
Little boy blue who?
Michael Jackson!

Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and
started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!"
Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?"
The captain replied, "Screw the children!"
Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?"

A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?"
After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and
a female."
This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?"
"Well, God is both black and white."
At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks,
"Is Michael Jackson God?"

Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have
sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years
old.

The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more
allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make
him a priest.

Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp?
People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson

bopha · 11-21-2003, 07:06 PM

How can you tell it's bedtime at Neverland?

The big hand is on the little hand.

What's Michael Jackson's favorite soup?

Cream of Sumyung guy.

suesheboy · 11-21-2003, 07:11 PM

Hey I own the domain www.creamofsomeyoungguy.com!

austinth · 11-21-2003, 07:36 PM

Heard this one on the radio the other day...

Q: Did you hear Micheal Jackson has food poisoning?
A: Apparently he ate a 12 year old weiner.

tony286 · 11-21-2003, 08:03 PM

Thats funny ,he is so finished lol

CDSmith · 11-21-2003, 08:20 PM

Did you hear about the new duet with Michael Jackson and Elton John?
It's called "Please let your son go down on me".

Mr Pheer · 11-21-2003, 10:34 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by suesheboy
Hey I own the domain www.creamofsomeyoungguy.com!

thats funny

I own smellslikefish.com

itsofts · 11-21-2003, 10:39 PM

he tricycling a way from the cops.

Jon · 11-21-2003, 10:46 PM

Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men?
A. He thought it was a delivery service.

Bigjohn · 11-21-2003, 10:49 PM

Michael is his own best joke!

Rui · 11-22-2003, 03:29 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bigjohn
Michael is his own best joke!

kinda sad but true...the guy is unique thats for sure (not in a good way tho)

Cash · 11-22-2003, 03:40 AM

Michael Jackson once got arrested for indecent exposure. He appeared in small claims court. But he got off because of insufficient evidence.

nosey · 11-22-2003, 03:42 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bigjohn
Michael is his own best joke!

yup

silent moan · 11-22-2003, 03:59 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bansheelinks
Why, on the farm, does Michael Jackson like to hang out by the chicken coop all the time?

So he can look at all those little cocks.

lol....i like this one!!!

11-21-2003, 06:16 PM	#1
suesheboy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: FL - TN/NC Posts: 5,211	Best Michael Jackson jokes... Let's hear them! __________________ Adult Web Site Domain Names For Sale Adult Sex Toy Domain Names For Sale Tantric Delights, Sex Toys Blog, Tantric Sex Toys

11-21-2003, 07:11 PM	#6
suesheboy Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: FL - TN/NC Posts: 5,211	Hey I own the domain www.creamofsomeyoungguy.com! __________________ Adult Web Site Domain Names For Sale Adult Sex Toy Domain Names For Sale Tantric Delights, Sex Toys Blog, Tantric Sex Toys

11-21-2003, 07:36 PM	#7
austinth Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Fantasy Island Posts: 1,770	Heard this one on the radio the other day... Q: Did you hear Micheal Jackson has food poisoning? A: Apparently he ate a 12 year old weiner. __________________ Get A $25 Circuit City GIFT Card - *FREE*!

11-21-2003, 08:20 PM	#9
CDSmith Too lazy to set a custom title Industry Role: Join Date: May 2001 Location: My network is hosted at TECHIEMEDIA.net ...Wait, you meant where am I located at? Oh... okay, I'm in Winnipeg, Canada. Oops. :) Posts: 51,460	Did you hear about the new duet with Michael Jackson and Elton John? It's called "Please let your son go down on me". __________________ *Promote Wildmatch, ImLive, Sexier.com, and more!!* ALWAYS THE HIGHEST PAYOUTS: Big Bux/ImLive SIGNUP ON NOW!!! Put some PUSSYCA$H in your pocket. ICQ me at: 31024634

11-21-2003, 10:39 PM	#11
itsofts Registered User Join Date: Oct 2003 Location: New York Posts: 18	he tricycling a way from the cops. __________________ www.ecardmax.com aim: teewanna tri @ ecardmax.com

11-21-2003, 06:16 PM	#2
Electronic Guy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Oct 2003 Posts: 384	racist

11-21-2003, 06:19 PM	#3
Bansheelinks Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2003 Posts: 6,023	Why, on the farm, does Michael Jackson like to hang out by the chicken coop all the time? So he can look at all those little cocks.

11-21-2003, 06:26 PM	#4
SENSEX Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2003 Location: Someplace Special Posts: 1,159	Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue. Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing?. Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party? A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house. Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common? A. They both ride three year olds. Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants? A. Michael Jackson's makeup. Q. Why did Michael Jackson dangle his baby over a balcony? A. Because he overheard his wife asking someone to drop the children off a few stories. Q. How does Michael Jackson pick his nose? A. From a catalogue. Q: Have you heard about Michael Jackson's New Book? A: It's called "The In's and Out's of Child Rearing?. Q. How do you know Michael Jackson is having a party? A. There are a bunch of tricycles in front of his house. Q: What do Michael Jackson and the Detroit Tigers have in common? A: They both wear one glove for no apparent reason. Q: Why was Michael Jackson spotted at K-Mart? A: He heard boys' pants were half-off! Q. What's the difference between Mr. Potato Head and Michael Jackson? A. Michael Jackson has had more noses. Q. When is it bed time at Michael Jackson?s house? A. When the big hand is on the little hand! Q. What do Michael Jackson and a jockey have in common? A. They both ride three year olds. Q. What's the worst stain to try and remove from a little boy's underpants? A. Michael Jackson's makeup. Q. Why does Michael Jackson disappear for a couple hours after one of his little friends leaves? A. It takes that long to get the bubble gum off his dick. Q. What did the lady at the beach say to Michael Jackson? A. I believe you?re in my son. Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag? A. One is plastic and harmful to children, the other is used to carry groceries. Q. What does Michael Jackson consider a perfect 10? A. Two 5 year olds. Q. Why did Michael Jackson decide to have a boy of his own? A. Because it's too expensive to rent them at $2 million a pop! Q: What's icky and in a baby's diaper? A: Michael Jackson's hand! Q: What's white and in Michael Jackson's pocket? A: His other hand! Q: What do you do if Michael Jackson is drowning? A: Throw him a buoy! Q: What do Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common? A: They're both 44 year old meat between 10 year old buns! Q: How do you neuter Michael Jackson? A: Give him spiked gloves and tell him to sing a song! Q: What's black on the inside, white on the outside, and comes in little cans? A: Michael Jackson! Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor? A. One got burnt doing Pepsi, the other got burnt doing coke. Q: What was the foundation that Michael Jackson and Richard Pryor started? A: The Ignited Negro College Fund! Q: Why did Pepsi fire Michael Jackson? A: Because he was caught sucking on a Squirt!! Q. What does Michael Jackson reminisce about? A. Blowing his first nose. Q. Who is the greatest person ever? A. Michael Jackson - he was born a poor black boy in Gary, Indiana and grew up to become a rich white woman in Europe. Q. What did Elvis say after seeing Michael and Lisa Marie on television? A. "Boy, that's a relief. I though she married a black guy!" Q. What did Lisa-Marie Presley say to Michael Jackson when he proposed? A. "Yes, I'll marry you. But promise me one thing -- no kids!" Q. What's the difference between Michael Jackson and Lisa Marie Presley? A. About two dress sizes. Q. What was Michael Jackson thinking on his wedding night? A. "Now Lisa-Marie can give me a little boy of my own." Q. What were Lisa-Marie's newlywed complaints about Michael Jackson? A1. He leaves the lid off the mascara, causing it to dry out. A2. That battleaxe Liz Taylor never calls before she comes over. A3. She suspects he's using her to get to Elvis' bones. A4. He touches her kids more than he touches her. Q. Why did Michael Jackson cross the road? A. He saw someone blowing bubbles and thought he'd join in. Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? A. He thought it was a delivery service. Q: Why are Michael Jackson's pants so small? A: Because they aren't his! Q. How did Michael Jackson get in trouble? A. He was feeling a little Randy. Q. Why does Michael Jackson like children so much? A. He knows how they feel. Q. What did Michael Jackson say when he got back to Neverland Ranch from drug rehab? A. You know, I feel like a new boy! Q. How do we know Michael Jackson is guilty? A. Several children have fingered him. Q. Where does Michael Jackson go to find a date? A. Boys 'R Us. Q. Why is Michael Jackson so tough? A. He can lick any kid on the block. Knock Knock! Who's There? Little boy blue! Little boy blue who? Michael Jackson! Michael Jackson was on a ship with 100 cub scouts when it hit an iceberg and started to sink. The captain announced, "We're sinking! Everyone abandon ship!" Michael Jackson asked, "What about the children?" The captain replied, "Screw the children!" Michael Jackson looked around eagerly and said, "Do we have time?" A little boy goes up to his mother and asks, "Is God a male or a female?" After thinking for a moment, his mother responds, "Well, God is both a male and a female." This confuses the little boy, so he asks, "Is God black or white?" "Well, God is both black and white." At this, the boy's face lights up with understanding and he triumphantly asks, "Is Michael Jackson God?" Michael Jackson asked his wife's doctor how soon after the birth could he have sex. The doctor told him he should wait until the kid is at least 12 or 13 years old. The Pope has issued a proclamation on Michael Jackson. If he hears any more allegations about little boys, the Pope says he'll have no choice but to make him a priest. Did you know they're putting out a Michael Jackson stamp? People get to vote for the white or black Michael Jackson

11-21-2003, 07:06 PM	#5
bopha Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2002 Posts: 1,882	How can you tell it's bedtime at Neverland? The big hand is on the little hand. What's Michael Jackson's favorite soup? Cream of Sumyung guy.

11-21-2003, 08:03 PM	#8
tony286 lurker Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: atlanta Posts: 57,021	Thats funny ,he is so finished lol

11-21-2003, 10:46 PM	#12
Jon Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: New York City Posts: 2,578	Q. Why did Michael Jackson place a phone call to Boyz-2-Men? A. He thought it was a delivery service. __________________ WickedFire.com - Stay here. We don't need more of you. Not unless you have money, then, fine...

11-21-2003, 10:49 PM	#13
Bigjohn Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Deep inside my mind Posts: 1,118	Michael is his own best joke!

11-22-2003, 03:40 AM	#15
Cash Click on my TCG signature Join Date: Feb 2002 Posts: 20,825	Michael Jackson once got arrested for indecent exposure. He appeared in small claims court. But he got off because of insufficient evidence. __________________ $9.95/month for 15000 GB bandwidth monthly, unlimited (sub)domains and MySQL5, PHP4/5, 500 GB disk storage! ; use any of these invitation codes: 216263692101; 408636009193; 846090586647; my ICQ 30160426!