Contest Who Wants A Free Xbox - Page 33 - GoFuckYourself.com

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:02 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi

is that so...

Yeah.... but im told that i did pay to watch a donky show in mexico

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:02 AM

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:03 AM

Holly crap 1:14am....

Getting tired Kali?

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:03 AM

now back to the topic at hand....

I Want the X Box

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:03 AM

teh w3n?

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:04 AM

over 500
whoo hoo..

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:04 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ozzymosis1
Holly crap 1:14am....

Getting tired Kali?

its only 1:04...

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:06 AM

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:07 AM

u guys get tired of posting?

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:08 AM

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:08 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by chronic avenger
now back to the topic at hand....

I Want the X Box

the what?

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:09 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi
u guys get tired of posting?

no but i do need to piss

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:09 AM

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ozzymosis1

no but i do need to piss

i need food..

siccmade is cussing at me in my other thread

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:10 AM

$1000

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi
u guys get tired of posting?

yeah but oh well

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi

i need food..

siccmade is cussing at me in my other thread

I forgot about that one

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:11 AM

$10000000

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:12 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ozzymosis1

I forgot about that one

nofx · 10-27-2003, 02:12 AM

Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.

1. Piss-poor design.
The system is the brain child of Seamus Blackley, a 32-year-old red-haired jazz pianist and nuclear physicist. To quote him: "I was flying back from visiting [my girlfriend] and I had just got a new laptop and I was trying it out on the plane and I was thinking about graphics cards and I realized that we could make a machine that had much higher performance than anything else in the industry." Yeah, it's called PC dumbass. Real revolutionary idea. Take existing hardware, throw it together in a big clunky box and call it a console. Everything about the system reeks of poor design. Rather than getting a hand full of the most talented game developers in the world (here's a hint: YOU WON'T FIND THEM MAKING PC TITLES IN THE US ASSHOLE--GO TO JAPAN) and designing a system around the games from the ground up, Blackley comes along with an unlimited supply of stupid ideas about the gaming industry and designs a system that he himself admitted to being "little more than exposed cards with processors and graphics chips hooked to a monitor." No shit? I couldn't tell from how HUGE the case is. It's almost as if it was thrown together with pieces bought off of a store shelf--oh wait. What more, once he senses the impending fizzle of the launch, he bails from the company to work someplace else--where he'll inevitably spawn more stupid ideas.

2. The games suck.
It's been almost one full year since the launch of the Xbox and so far the only game that doesn't suck as much as everything else on the system is Halo. Everything else is either out on another console, mediocre or a boring PC port. Even Halo doesn't cut it as far as I'm concerned. The first person shooter (FPS) genre is best done on PC, period (just because some genres have been represented best on PC doesn't mean I'm biased towards PC, if anything I'm biased towards consoles so quit emailing me). As good as Halo is, it's not even the best in its genre (an honor reserved for Half Life as far as I'm concerned). The Xbox library of games is flooded with shit titles like "Azurik": games that seem more like projects for computer science majors in their senior year at college than professional products. I would rather be shot than have to play one more uninspired ho-hum platform title starring some stupid cat or some random guy that runs around bumping into other vague uninspired objects. Throw that shit away.

Here are some examples of the bullshit games on the Xbox:

Max Payne - Wait, so not only do I lose the ability to adjust my resolution and system specs to improve performance, but I get a game that's been out for months on PC already? Where do I sign? The game's not too bad, but why bother with it on Xbox when it's on PC already?

Nightcaster - How original, a rushed third-person RPG title with four magic types: light, dark, fire and water. But wait, here's where the strategy comes in: use water against fire, light against dark enemies, etc. Brilliant.

Blood Wake - I liked this game better when it was called Twisted Metal and you drove cars instead of boats. Unoriginal, uninspired.

Azurik: Rise of Perathia - Would have been more aptly titled "Azurik: Onset of Paralysis." Bad gameplay, poor camera, muddy textures, lame characters. Does the fun ever start?

Star Wars: Obi-Wan - More like "Star Wars: Obi-Wanna-Play-A-Different-Game." Poor AI, poor controls, boring environments. Any non-geeks care to play this? Doubtful.

Bruce Lee: Quest of the Dragon - Broken gameplay, bad camera work, cheesy voice acting, and the game crashes. All this crap for just $50? It's a win/win situation for publishers: put a lackluster effort into development and make boat-loads of cash off of suck-er.. customers.

Sure, every console has its share of shitty games but the Xbox has a disproportionately higher percentage of them. In fact, I think only the N64 rivals the Xbox in the shitty to good title ratio. When all is said and done, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks about the games, the fact is that the games just aren't selling. All you cry-baby, whining, sniveling bitches can stop emailing me with "HAY MADDOX YOU IDIOT YOU DIDN'T MENTION DEAD TO RIGHTS LOL!!!" Because here are some cold hard facts:

For the entire month of July, only 2 games made it into the top 20 highest sellers (based on units sold), and only 1 in the top 10: Halo at #10 and NCAA Football 2003 at #11. For the month of June, only 3 games made it into the top 20, with only 2 in the top 10. Same for the month of May 2002, and only one in the top 10 in the month of April 2002. Even when the Xbox newly launched, their best month ever has only yielded 4 games in the top 20 with only 2 in the top 10, and don't even bother looking at Japan's stats where the Wonder Swan system is outselling most Xbox games (Source: NPD TRSTS Video Game Service). Compare this to Sony's healthy 15 titles and you can see the big picture. I don't favor Sony's platforms, but these are facts. Any other systems sell this poorly in recent memory? Oh yeah, the Dreamcast and where is the DC now? The DC was by far my favorite system in its prime, but the only difference between me and all you whining Xbox pussies is that I can see the same thing happening here. It doesn't matter how good anyone thinks the games are, because they're just not selling which should tell you dumbasses something. That's not to say that good games always sell, but there's no excuse for Microsoft to have this kind of piss-poor performance because they have all the marketing muscle in the world to make it happen and they're screwing it up.

3. The controller is almost as big as my nuts.
This has to be by far the shittiest controller packed with a home console ever. What were they thinking? Over 25% of the surface area on the controller is wasted by a giant green Xbox jewel--you know, in case you forget what system you're playing in between loading screens. You can seriously drop the controller onto a cat from 5 feet and break its back... so I've heard.

What Microsoft should have done was team up with Sega to buy all their unsold Dreamcasts and just use them as controllers for the Xbox. It probably would have been smaller than the 8 lb atrocity that they have now.

4. People who own the Xbox don't play video games.
The average Xbox owner attends Microsoft SQL Server release parties, reads books on database theory and hates games like Super Mario because they're too old for "kiddie" games since everyone knows that it's graphics, not game play that makes a great game. I mean, why play a game that's actually fun when you can waste hours watching rendered, uninteractive intros instead? Ask the typical Xbox owner what other video games or consoles he likes and you'll draw a blank stare. The reason they bought an Xbox was because it's by Microsoft and they're blindly devoted to the company, not because of the games (being as there aren't any).

5. No Soul.
You'll never see games like Metal Slug, Radiant Silvergun or Castlevania come out for the Xbox because Microsoft hasn't made the system attractive to the Japanese market. Capcom, Konami, SNK and a slew of other big game developers have turned their backs towards the Xbox except for a cursory presence with a half-hearted title port. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Sega is working on a Panzer Dragoon title as well as Toe Jam & Earl III. Regardless, the Xbox is still a PC at heart, right down to the hard drive and buggy software.

6. Shitty philosophy.
Blackley thought he had the formula for a great system because all the components were there for a great system (and they are): a powerful graphics chip, a beefy hard drive, a fast processor and DVD capabilities. What he failed to realize was that just because you have all the raw material to make a great system doesn't mean it's going to be great. Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints.

The Xbox is designed by people who think they know a joystick from their assholes. The problem is that they're mostly fat boring business men and not gamers. They're out to make a buck and it's painfully obvious in how poorly they're marketing the system (I think they've cornered the market on middle-aged men who buy one or two sports titles per year for their system).

7. Too expensive.
The last figures I heard were that Microsoft was eating $150 on every Xbox sale because they had hoped to subsidize the hardware cost with software sales. Too bad that all their software is shit, otherwise their plan might have worked. Unfortunately, Microsoft has deep pockets so we'll probably have to endure a couple more years of mediocre Xbox titles until Microsoft's share holders decide they've had enough. Don't buy an Xbox. Or if you do, wait until something worth buying comes out for it first.

For all you inevitably offended Xbox owners and developers, quit bitching. I'm not hell bent on the ruin of the Xbox, and I'll eventually buy one, but not until some 'decent' shit comes out for it (ie, more than one game worth purchasing). The point of this article is that there are a lot of dumb cocks out there who buy systems out of blind devotion to the company rather than the games.

A lot of people email me asking which console I prefer. The console I prefer is the console with the most games that I want to play, and right now Gameboy Advance and PS2 have the most games that I want to play.

nofx · 10-27-2003, 02:13 AM

http://maddox.xmission.com/xbox_suckit.html

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:13 AM

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:14 AM

10 reasons to win a Xbox

1. Free
2. Free
3. Free
4. Free
5. Free
6. Free
7. Free
8. because I dont have one
9. its free
10. I all ready have a ps2

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:14 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nofx
Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.

1. Piss-poor design.
The system is the brain child of Seamus Blackley, a 32-year-old red-haired jazz pianist and nuclear physicist. To quote him: "I was flying back from visiting [my girlfriend] and I had just got a new laptop and I was trying it out on the plane and I was thinking about graphics cards and I realized that we could make a machine that had much higher performance than anything else in the industry." Yeah, it's called PC dumbass. Real revolutionary idea. Take existing hardware, throw it together in a big clunky box and call it a console. Everything about the system reeks of poor design. Rather than getting a hand full of the most talented game developers in the world (here's a hint: YOU WON'T FIND THEM MAKING PC TITLES IN THE US ASSHOLE--GO TO JAPAN) and designing a system around the games from the ground up, Blackley comes along with an unlimited supply of stupid ideas about the gaming industry and designs a system that he himself admitted to being "little more than exposed cards with processors and graphics chips hooked to a monitor." No shit? I couldn't tell from how HUGE the case is. It's almost as if it was thrown together with pieces bought off of a store shelf--oh wait. What more, once he senses the impending fizzle of the launch, he bails from the company to work someplace else--where he'll inevitably spawn more stupid ideas.

2. The games suck.
It's been almost one full year since the launch of the Xbox and so far the only game that doesn't suck as much as everything else on the system is Halo. Everything else is either out on another console, mediocre or a boring PC port. Even Halo doesn't cut it as far as I'm concerned. The first person shooter (FPS) genre is best done on PC, period (just because some genres have been represented best on PC doesn't mean I'm biased towards PC, if anything I'm biased towards consoles so quit emailing me). As good as Halo is, it's not even the best in its genre (an honor reserved for Half Life as far as I'm concerned). The Xbox library of games is flooded with shit titles like "Azurik": games that seem more like projects for computer science majors in their senior year at college than professional products. I would rather be shot than have to play one more uninspired ho-hum platform title starring some stupid cat or some random guy that runs around bumping into other vague uninspired objects. Throw that shit away.

Here are some examples of the bullshit games on the Xbox:

Max Payne - Wait, so not only do I lose the ability to adjust my resolution and system specs to improve performance, but I get a game that's been out for months on PC already? Where do I sign? The game's not too bad, but why bother with it on Xbox when it's on PC already?

Nightcaster - How original, a rushed third-person RPG title with four magic types: light, dark, fire and water. But wait, here's where the strategy comes in: use water against fire, light against dark enemies, etc. Brilliant.

Blood Wake - I liked this game better when it was called Twisted Metal and you drove cars instead of boats. Unoriginal, uninspired.

Azurik: Rise of Perathia - Would have been more aptly titled "Azurik: Onset of Paralysis." Bad gameplay, poor camera, muddy textures, lame characters. Does the fun ever start?

Star Wars: Obi-Wan - More like "Star Wars: Obi-Wanna-Play-A-Different-Game." Poor AI, poor controls, boring environments. Any non-geeks care to play this? Doubtful.

Bruce Lee: Quest of the Dragon - Broken gameplay, bad camera work, cheesy voice acting, and the game crashes. All this crap for just $50? It's a win/win situation for publishers: put a lackluster effort into development and make boat-loads of cash off of suck-er.. customers.

Sure, every console has its share of shitty games but the Xbox has a disproportionately higher percentage of them. In fact, I think only the N64 rivals the Xbox in the shitty to good title ratio. When all is said and done, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks about the games, the fact is that the games just aren't selling. All you cry-baby, whining, sniveling bitches can stop emailing me with "HAY MADDOX YOU IDIOT YOU DIDN'T MENTION DEAD TO RIGHTS LOL!!!" Because here are some cold hard facts:

For the entire month of July, only 2 games made it into the top 20 highest sellers (based on units sold), and only 1 in the top 10: Halo at #10 and NCAA Football 2003 at #11. For the month of June, only 3 games made it into the top 20, with only 2 in the top 10. Same for the month of May 2002, and only one in the top 10 in the month of April 2002. Even when the Xbox newly launched, their best month ever has only yielded 4 games in the top 20 with only 2 in the top 10, and don't even bother looking at Japan's stats where the Wonder Swan system is outselling most Xbox games (Source: NPD TRSTS Video Game Service). Compare this to Sony's healthy 15 titles and you can see the big picture. I don't favor Sony's platforms, but these are facts. Any other systems sell this poorly in recent memory? Oh yeah, the Dreamcast and where is the DC now? The DC was by far my favorite system in its prime, but the only difference between me and all you whining Xbox pussies is that I can see the same thing happening here. It doesn't matter how good anyone thinks the games are, because they're just not selling which should tell you dumbasses something. That's not to say that good games always sell, but there's no excuse for Microsoft to have this kind of piss-poor performance because they have all the marketing muscle in the world to make it happen and they're screwing it up.

3. The controller is almost as big as my nuts.
This has to be by far the shittiest controller packed with a home console ever. What were they thinking? Over 25% of the surface area on the controller is wasted by a giant green Xbox jewel--you know, in case you forget what system you're playing in between loading screens. You can seriously drop the controller onto a cat from 5 feet and break its back... so I've heard.

What Microsoft should have done was team up with Sega to buy all their unsold Dreamcasts and just use them as controllers for the Xbox. It probably would have been smaller than the 8 lb atrocity that they have now.

4. People who own the Xbox don't play video games.
The average Xbox owner attends Microsoft SQL Server release parties, reads books on database theory and hates games like Super Mario because they're too old for "kiddie" games since everyone knows that it's graphics, not game play that makes a great game. I mean, why play a game that's actually fun when you can waste hours watching rendered, uninteractive intros instead? Ask the typical Xbox owner what other video games or consoles he likes and you'll draw a blank stare. The reason they bought an Xbox was because it's by Microsoft and they're blindly devoted to the company, not because of the games (being as there aren't any).

5. No Soul.
You'll never see games like Metal Slug, Radiant Silvergun or Castlevania come out for the Xbox because Microsoft hasn't made the system attractive to the Japanese market. Capcom, Konami, SNK and a slew of other big game developers have turned their backs towards the Xbox except for a cursory presence with a half-hearted title port. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Sega is working on a Panzer Dragoon title as well as Toe Jam & Earl III. Regardless, the Xbox is still a PC at heart, right down to the hard drive and buggy software.

6. Shitty philosophy.
Blackley thought he had the formula for a great system because all the components were there for a great system (and they are): a powerful graphics chip, a beefy hard drive, a fast processor and DVD capabilities. What he failed to realize was that just because you have all the raw material to make a great system doesn't mean it's going to be great. Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints.

The Xbox is designed by people who think they know a joystick from their assholes. The problem is that they're mostly fat boring business men and not gamers. They're out to make a buck and it's painfully obvious in how poorly they're marketing the system (I think they've cornered the market on middle-aged men who buy one or two sports titles per year for their system).

7. Too expensive.
The last figures I heard were that Microsoft was eating $150 on every Xbox sale because they had hoped to subsidize the hardware cost with software sales. Too bad that all their software is shit, otherwise their plan might have worked. Unfortunately, Microsoft has deep pockets so we'll probably have to endure a couple more years of mediocre Xbox titles until Microsoft's share holders decide they've had enough. Don't buy an Xbox. Or if you do, wait until something worth buying comes out for it first.

For all you inevitably offended Xbox owners and developers, quit bitching. I'm not hell bent on the ruin of the Xbox, and I'll eventually buy one, but not until some 'decent' shit comes out for it (ie, more than one game worth purchasing). The point of this article is that there are a lot of dumb cocks out there who buy systems out of blind devotion to the company rather than the games.

A lot of people email me asking which console I prefer. The console I prefer is the console with the most games that I want to play, and right now Gameboy Advance and PS2 have the most games that I want to play.

waste of space...

ytcracker · 10-27-2003, 02:15 AM

www.ytcracker.com of course industry rap is good

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nofx
Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it.

For all you inevitably offended Xbox owners and developers, quit bitching. I'm not hell bent on the ruin of the Xbox, and I'll eventually buy one, but not until some 'decent' shit comes out for it (ie, more than one game worth purchasing). The point of this article is that there are a lot of dumb cocks out there who buy systems out of blind devotion to the company rather than the games.

A lot of people email me asking which console I prefer. The console I prefer is the console with the most games that I want to play, and right now Gameboy Advance and PS2 have the most games that I want to play.

do you work for play station?

nofx · 10-27-2003, 02:16 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi

waste of space...

and your the one whoring yourself for an xbox...

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:17 AM

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nofx

and your the one whoring yourself for an xbox...

Do you not read my posts? Im not posting for the xbox. If you were smarter you would know what im posting for

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:18 AM

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:18 AM

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:18 AM

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi

Do you not read my posts? Im not posting for the xbox. If you were smarter you would know what im posting for

are you realy bored?

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:19 AM

nofx · 10-27-2003, 02:19 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by KaLi

Do you not read my posts? Im not posting for the xbox. If you were smarter you would know what im posting for

yes, i read through all 33 pages carefully, post by post, reading them all.
NO, summarize it for me.

BadBoyBill4281 · 10-27-2003, 02:19 AM

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:20 AM

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:20 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ozzymosis1

are you realy bored?

Maybe I am...!

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:20 AM

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:21 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by nofx

yes, i read through all 33 pages carefully, post by post, reading them all.
NO, summarize it for me.

Well, it isnt for the xbox, thats for sure. But the xbox is a +!

Fonz · 10-27-2003, 02:21 AM

gonna post only once, so gimme gimme gimme

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:22 AM

EDIT ooppss...

Ozzymosis1 · 10-27-2003, 02:23 AM

my bad....

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:23 AM

I would edit that post if I were you ozzy

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:23 AM

going to roll a blunt
I will return. not that any of you care

ytcracker · 10-27-2003, 02:24 AM

spamcops a bitch but they aint the real law

nofx · 10-27-2003, 02:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by chronic avenger
going to roll a blunt
I will return. not that any of you care

smoke one for me yo

KaLi · 10-27-2003, 02:24 AM

chronic avenger · 10-27-2003, 02:24 AM

- Jesus Christ - · 10-27-2003, 02:25 AM

$10000

10-27-2003, 02:02 AM	#1602
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	__________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:03 AM	#1603
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	Holly crap 1:14am.... Getting tired Kali? __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-27-2003, 02:03 AM	#1604
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	now back to the topic at hand.... I Want the X Box __________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:03 AM	#1605
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	teh w3n? __________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:04 AM	#1606
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	over 500 whoo hoo.. __________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:06 AM	#1608
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	__________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:07 AM	#1609
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	u guys get tired of posting? __________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:08 AM	#1610
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10-27-2003, 02:09 AM	#1613
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10-27-2003, 02:11 AM	#1618
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10-27-2003, 02:12 AM	#1620
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	Seven reasons why the Xbox can suck it. 1. Piss-poor design. The system is the brain child of Seamus Blackley, a 32-year-old red-haired jazz pianist and nuclear physicist. To quote him: "I was flying back from visiting [my girlfriend] and I had just got a new laptop and I was trying it out on the plane and I was thinking about graphics cards and I realized that we could make a machine that had much higher performance than anything else in the industry." Yeah, it's called PC dumbass. Real revolutionary idea. Take existing hardware, throw it together in a big clunky box and call it a console. Everything about the system reeks of poor design. Rather than getting a hand full of the most talented game developers in the world (here's a hint: YOU WON'T FIND THEM MAKING PC TITLES IN THE US ASSHOLE--GO TO JAPAN) and designing a system around the games from the ground up, Blackley comes along with an unlimited supply of stupid ideas about the gaming industry and designs a system that he himself admitted to being "little more than exposed cards with processors and graphics chips hooked to a monitor." No shit? I couldn't tell from how HUGE the case is. It's almost as if it was thrown together with pieces bought off of a store shelf--oh wait. What more, once he senses the impending fizzle of the launch, he bails from the company to work someplace else--where he'll inevitably spawn more stupid ideas. 2. The games suck. It's been almost one full year since the launch of the Xbox and so far the only game that doesn't suck as much as everything else on the system is Halo. Everything else is either out on another console, mediocre or a boring PC port. Even Halo doesn't cut it as far as I'm concerned. The first person shooter (FPS) genre is best done on PC, period (just because some genres have been represented best on PC doesn't mean I'm biased towards PC, if anything I'm biased towards consoles so quit emailing me). As good as Halo is, it's not even the best in its genre (an honor reserved for Half Life as far as I'm concerned). The Xbox library of games is flooded with shit titles like "Azurik": games that seem more like projects for computer science majors in their senior year at college than professional products. I would rather be shot than have to play one more uninspired ho-hum platform title starring some stupid cat or some random guy that runs around bumping into other vague uninspired objects. Throw that shit away. Here are some examples of the bullshit games on the Xbox: Max Payne - Wait, so not only do I lose the ability to adjust my resolution and system specs to improve performance, but I get a game that's been out for months on PC already? Where do I sign? The game's not too bad, but why bother with it on Xbox when it's on PC already? Nightcaster - How original, a rushed third-person RPG title with four magic types: light, dark, fire and water. But wait, here's where the strategy comes in: use water against fire, light against dark enemies, etc. Brilliant. Blood Wake - I liked this game better when it was called Twisted Metal and you drove cars instead of boats. Unoriginal, uninspired. Azurik: Rise of Perathia - Would have been more aptly titled "Azurik: Onset of Paralysis." Bad gameplay, poor camera, muddy textures, lame characters. Does the fun ever start? Star Wars: Obi-Wan - More like "Star Wars: Obi-Wanna-Play-A-Different-Game." Poor AI, poor controls, boring environments. Any non-geeks care to play this? Doubtful. Bruce Lee: Quest of the Dragon - Broken gameplay, bad camera work, cheesy voice acting, and the game crashes. All this crap for just $50? It's a win/win situation for publishers: put a lackluster effort into development and make boat-loads of cash off of suck-er.. customers. Sure, every console has its share of shitty games but the Xbox has a disproportionately higher percentage of them. In fact, I think only the N64 rivals the Xbox in the shitty to good title ratio. When all is said and done, it doesn't matter what I or anyone else thinks about the games, the fact is that the games just aren't selling. All you cry-baby, whining, sniveling bitches can stop emailing me with "HAY MADDOX YOU IDIOT YOU DIDN'T MENTION DEAD TO RIGHTS LOL!!!" Because here are some cold hard facts: For the entire month of July, only 2 games made it into the top 20 highest sellers (based on units sold), and only 1 in the top 10: Halo at #10 and NCAA Football 2003 at #11. For the month of June, only 3 games made it into the top 20, with only 2 in the top 10. Same for the month of May 2002, and only one in the top 10 in the month of April 2002. Even when the Xbox newly launched, their best month ever has only yielded 4 games in the top 20 with only 2 in the top 10, and don't even bother looking at Japan's stats where the Wonder Swan system is outselling most Xbox games (Source: NPD TRSTS Video Game Service). Compare this to Sony's healthy 15 titles and you can see the big picture. I don't favor Sony's platforms, but these are facts. Any other systems sell this poorly in recent memory? Oh yeah, the Dreamcast and where is the DC now? The DC was by far my favorite system in its prime, but the only difference between me and all you whining Xbox pussies is that I can see the same thing happening here. It doesn't matter how good anyone thinks the games are, because they're just not selling which should tell you dumbasses something. That's not to say that good games always sell, but there's no excuse for Microsoft to have this kind of piss-poor performance because they have all the marketing muscle in the world to make it happen and they're screwing it up. 3. The controller is almost as big as my nuts. This has to be by far the shittiest controller packed with a home console ever. What were they thinking? Over 25% of the surface area on the controller is wasted by a giant green Xbox jewel--you know, in case you forget what system you're playing in between loading screens. You can seriously drop the controller onto a cat from 5 feet and break its back... so I've heard. What Microsoft should have done was team up with Sega to buy all their unsold Dreamcasts and just use them as controllers for the Xbox. It probably would have been smaller than the 8 lb atrocity that they have now. 4. People who own the Xbox don't play video games. The average Xbox owner attends Microsoft SQL Server release parties, reads books on database theory and hates games like Super Mario because they're too old for "kiddie" games since everyone knows that it's graphics, not game play that makes a great game. I mean, why play a game that's actually fun when you can waste hours watching rendered, uninteractive intros instead? Ask the typical Xbox owner what other video games or consoles he likes and you'll draw a blank stare. The reason they bought an Xbox was because it's by Microsoft and they're blindly devoted to the company, not because of the games (being as there aren't any). 5. No Soul. You'll never see games like Metal Slug, Radiant Silvergun or Castlevania come out for the Xbox because Microsoft hasn't made the system attractive to the Japanese market. Capcom, Konami, SNK and a slew of other big game developers have turned their backs towards the Xbox except for a cursory presence with a half-hearted title port. There is light at the end of the tunnel, however. Sega is working on a Panzer Dragoon title as well as Toe Jam & Earl III. Regardless, the Xbox is still a PC at heart, right down to the hard drive and buggy software. 6. Shitty philosophy. Blackley thought he had the formula for a great system because all the components were there for a great system (and they are): a powerful graphics chip, a beefy hard drive, a fast processor and DVD capabilities. What he failed to realize was that just because you have all the raw material to make a great system doesn't mean it's going to be great. Saying the Xbox is a good system because it's powerful is like saying you made a great painting because you used the best set of paints. The Xbox is designed by people who think they know a joystick from their assholes. The problem is that they're mostly fat boring business men and not gamers. They're out to make a buck and it's painfully obvious in how poorly they're marketing the system (I think they've cornered the market on middle-aged men who buy one or two sports titles per year for their system). 7. Too expensive. The last figures I heard were that Microsoft was eating $150 on every Xbox sale because they had hoped to subsidize the hardware cost with software sales. Too bad that all their software is shit, otherwise their plan might have worked. Unfortunately, Microsoft has deep pockets so we'll probably have to endure a couple more years of mediocre Xbox titles until Microsoft's share holders decide they've had enough. Don't buy an Xbox. Or if you do, wait until something worth buying comes out for it first. For all you inevitably offended Xbox owners and developers, quit bitching. I'm not hell bent on the ruin of the Xbox, and I'll eventually buy one, but not until some 'decent' shit comes out for it (ie, more than one game worth purchasing). The point of this article is that there are a lot of dumb cocks out there who buy systems out of blind devotion to the company rather than the games. A lot of people email me asking which console I prefer. The console I prefer is the console with the most games that I want to play, and right now Gameboy Advance and PS2 have the most games that I want to play. __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

10-27-2003, 02:13 AM	#1621
nofx Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Virgin Mary's womb Posts: 16,826	http://maddox.xmission.com/xbox_suckit.html __________________ Often times I wonder why There's love and hate, theres live or die. When sickness comes I must decide: When feelings go, theres suicide.

10-27-2003, 02:13 AM	#1622
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	__________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-27-2003, 02:14 AM	#1623
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	10 reasons to win a Xbox 1. Free 2. Free 3. Free 4. Free 5. Free 6. Free 7. Free 8. because I dont have one 9. its free 10. I all ready have a ps2 __________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:15 AM	#1625
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	www.ytcracker.com of course industry rap is good __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

10-27-2003, 02:17 AM	#1628
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	__________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-27-2003, 02:18 AM	#1630
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	why? __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-27-2003, 02:18 AM	#1631
- Jesus Christ - Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ::::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: ::::::\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|:::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::: Posts: 7,197	$10 __________________ Amen

10-27-2003, 02:18 AM	#1632
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	__________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:19 AM	#1634
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	__________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:19 AM	#1636
BadBoyBill4281 Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: May 2002 Location: West Palm Beach, Florida Posts: 616	__________________ ICQ#128496425 www.swinginglocal.com

10-27-2003, 02:20 AM	#1637
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	__________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:20 AM	#1639
- Jesus Christ - Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ::::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: ::::::\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|:::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::: Posts: 7,197	$00 __________________ Amen

10-27-2003, 02:21 AM	#1641
Fonz Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Hellgium Posts: 486	gonna post only once, so gimme gimme gimme __________________ hardlinks for sale - ICQ 24298240 - linksatsmilinpussy.com

10-27-2003, 02:22 AM	#1642
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	EDIT ooppss... __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60. Last edited by Ozzymosis1; 10-27-2003 at 02:25 AM..

10-27-2003, 02:23 AM	#1643
Ozzymosis1 Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2003 Location: United States Occupation: Traffic Broker Company: Fast Adult Traffic URL: FastAdultTraffic.com ICQ: 233907523 Posts: 2,094	my bad.... __________________ SIG TOO BIG! Maximum 120x60 button and no more than 3 text lines of DEFAULT SIZE and COLOR. Unless your sig is for a GFY top banner sponsor, then you may use a 624x80 instead of a 120x60.

10-27-2003, 02:23 AM	#1644
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	I would edit that post if I were you ozzy __________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:23 AM	#1645
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	going to roll a blunt I will return. not that any of you care __________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:24 AM	#1646
ytcracker stc is the greatest Join Date: Dec 2002 Location: rip sean murray Posts: 12,403	spamcops a bitch but they aint the real law __________________ www.ytcracker.com \| www.digitalgangster.com i love you

10-27-2003, 02:24 AM	#1648
KaLi Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: Lomita, CA Posts: 4,371	__________________ icq:160-417-630

10-27-2003, 02:24 AM	#1649
chronic avenger Confirmed User Join Date: Aug 2003 Location: C.A. All Day Posts: 2,509	__________________ \| Sexxy Toons \| Blog Designs \| Icq 333676510

10-27-2003, 02:25 AM	#1650
- Jesus Christ - Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: ::::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: ::::::\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|\|:::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::\|\|::::::::::: :::::::::::::::::::::::: Posts: 7,197	$10000 __________________ Amen