i voted for personality...but then again i'm already married and my hubby is HOOOTTT! so i'm not sure if my vote should really count - lol

Intelligence, personality, attractiveness are all necessary. There is no "more important" - if one of those things is lacking there's no chance in hell of a relationship working.

i've been with two guys who were 10s and they sure weren't the great relationships of my life *shudder* punkworld, i totally disagree. my fiance is great, we've been totgether 5 years - and most people would rate him average, but WHAT a wonderful, funny, caring person!

ever notice that some truly outstanding-looking women date average to homely men? i know women who have been happy with their mate for over 10 years and their men are actively homely.

i was doing research for a relationship site for someone, and on all these boards for women, looks wasn't even fourth of things that the average woman looks for. sense of humor was the number one thing women wanted while men thought it was their looks or their money. (btw, guys - that didn't include a mean sense of humor or an overbearing sense of humor)

at least women know where they stand with most men - it's looks *LOL*

personality is always nice, looks is just an added bonus :thumbsup

I always think about it this way.. Personality is really important, if it's a keeper.. Looks are icing on the cake. Why? Because looks fade. things can happen that mar the looks, and if a relationship is based solely on skin deep, if something happens or time wears that away, you don't have anything left. Personality doesn't just go away with time.. It's the true keeper.

Thats really a myth two examples I worked in a small strip club, fat and old girls would make money and do very well. I defy you to find a fat male stripper it doesnt exist. I am a big man, good looking , funny but fat. When I was single every girl wanted be my friend but not date me. A fat chick can have her dance card filled every night and we are talking good looking men no one who is desperate. My wife has fans that look like male models. I think females are much more visual than men and saying they look for more makes them feel like they are deep . lol

Personality (including intelligence, humor, etc) by far.

I met my gf off a internet match-making site. So I knew her personality first, I saw a small picture, but still never saw the details of her.

I met her and she was so beautiful, its been a great 5 months thus far. :thumbsup

So really I got the best of both worlds

hey what about money you never see a athlete with a average looking wife

Isn't it interesting how not one woman voted for looks? :1orglaugh I don't think it necessarily means we think men are ugly, if they have a good personality... I think women get turned on sexually by emotions more than physical attractions. :2 cents:

I'd disagree totally and say it proves a lot of women lie including to themselves. Most women are at least as shallow as men on the looks/personality front but like to think of themselves as not being so.

Wow, so far 0% of females admit to liking looks over personality? Either women are far cooler than men or we're bigger liars. :winkwink:

Oh, and how far does the personality over looks thing go? Those who said personality... do you mean you want someone with a good personality but they can be a little less than attractive (like maybe 20 pounds overweight or having a big nose), or do you mean you'd date a 250 pound woman with a hairy mole on her face if she was really sweet and could cook a mean lasagna? LOL

I'm curious as to whether there are any people who can truly say that if they fell in love with someone for their personality over the phone and then met that person in real life and they were truly hideous... would you still love them?

I chose personality. I've dated some truly gorgeous men and I've dated a couple of really, really homely guys who had outstanding personalities. So I'm not hypocritical when I say I choose personality. But I am curious about other people. Is anyone out there who truly doesn't care ANYTHING about looks?

Great example of my statement. :)

That may be a myth for people who are picking their dates/mates at strip clubs, but as I have never done that, I don't think that applies to me.

I think the only thing your example proves is that good looks are more important for strippers, which I guess anyone knows. Unless you're wanting to have a relationship with or date a stripper (which is fine, btw, not meaning that's bad) then I don't see how that applies to everyone else.

And you're most definitely the first person I've ever come across to say seriously that "females are much more visual than men", lol. I guess the whole world of internet porn must have a flawed business model, right? :winkwink: I'm surprised anyone is making any money fooling with all you men. :)

I can testify to this, not the phone but the internet. I met a guy over the internet years ago and was crazy about him, regardless of what he looked like. Back in the day, when I wasn't too umm computer savvy, I didn't know how to open pic files on AOL (back in 96-97) Once it was downloaded and popped on the screen, that's about the ONLY time I would see it LOL ...So what he looked like, didn't even matter because I didn't see him like you normally would offline in the beginning. So it was all about personality and I got to a point that I didn't care what he looked like, as long as his personality made me melt.

I was with him for 6 years :)

im gonna have to add to this poll and say in order:

1. ambition
2. personality
3. looks

a 300lb guy with no ambition to succeed is instantly 86'd from my book. take that same 300lb guy WITH ambition to succeed and everything else will fall into place cause he will have the personality i am looking for and he will be attractive to me.

I have to say i agree. You dont walk through the mall and say "look at the morals on her." No you pull out "The Game" and if she turns out to be psycho hose beast hit the hills

same sad old jenn out on her crusade to promote morality. heh. i knew just by putting that you would qoute it and cry about it later. :1orglaugh

KILL FAT GIRLS!!!!!!!!!!

:eek7

How can you disagree with that? That's like disagreeing with someone when they are telling what *their* favorite food is :arcadefre

Yeah I knew you said it just to infuriate me. I can't stand hateful people. It's just WRONG :BangBang:

It's not that women are more visual than men, it's that they are generally more influenced by social approval.

i would say the intial attraction; both men and women are equally visual creatures. take it a step further now and a man will stay with a good looking, inarticulate, unintelligent woman just because she is good looking arm piece that he can show off to his friends. put most women in that situation and they guy would be out the door in 3 months tops.

women are less visual creatures overall. men are not. women grow out of the looks phase (for the most part) at a certain age. men dont. women look to the future on what their partner can provide. its within most mens natures to provide so their focus shifts to how expensive and big is my next toy going to be and who can i bang tonight. needless to say, men dont really change much from the time they are 14-15 until they reach an older age. whereas most women (not all) and their priorities and responsibilites change almost immediately. show me a woman who still plays with barbies at 30 and i will show you 10 men who still play games and concern themselves with beefing up their cars. kinda scary if you sit back and think about which species true evolves faster; and men dominate this world....yikes

Just out of curiosity: have you actually met and spoken with a man in real life? :eek7

plenty and if you try to argue my statement, you will just look foolish for a true man will agree with me. i am not man bashing, not at all. hell this day and age most women try to act like men with how many guys they can screw in a week. however, take a smart, ambitious woman and get her pregnant (for the most part; not all women i am including here), her focus will change almost immediately. take a man and put him in that situation and see where his focus will lay (again, not all men but a good portion).

i am the only woman in an office full of men. and not the wimpy, let me bitch, be a keyboard tough guy on the boards and complain all day types. i am talking men who concern and consume themselves with money every waking (and non waking) minute of the day. these guys are super ambitious!

let me ask them if they want to play an online game (provided there isnt a deadline with a project) and they will jump on it just about, most of the time. whereas i would really continue working for there is always something that can be done even if it isnt under a deadline. my focus that way is a little different from them. thats not saying i dont jump on the opportunity if given but it all depends how much of a break i need.

can't it be both?

Im not going to make the first move, or ANY move for that materr unless I'm attracted to the girl's looks. However, I'm not going to spend more than 10 minutes with her if I don't like her personality. Of course, the longer it goes, 1 date, casual dating, serous relationship.. the more I have to dig her personality, but at that point looks have become irrelivant.

You are soooooo right :thumbsup You nailed it. I would like to add, that most men are selfish until they hit an age of maturity and care about more than what they can gain for themselves. It takes a long time for a lot of men, to want to share with someone they love and build a future WITH someone. Most women want that immediately and end up wasting years and years with guys, that may never be on the same level as them. So that's why women won't waste time with guys just because they are attractive. Women are all about "where is this going?" as opposed to looking good here and now. :2 cents:

I couldn't have said that better myself!

:thumbsup

I would have to say looks but please allow me to explain before calling me names.

If I look at a girl who isn't so hot I won't bother going to talk to her. I would smile if she walked past me in a club but thats it.

If I see a hot chick I will talk to her and then find out if she has a nice personality.

So really looks win it for me, coz without good looks I probably wouldn't try and chat her up.

Am I shallow?

You really are obsessed with ambition, aren't you?

But, regardless of your conception of what a "true man" is, in my experience just about no men are interested in dumb women for long-term relationships. I don't know what kind of guys you hang out with (well, apart from the fact that they are obsessed with money and are "super ambitious"), but just about all my male friends only want to date women who actually have a brain.

you are 100% correct with the wasted years! when i was 19 i dated this guy who was 25. we spent 6 years together to only end up with him marrying someone else. i look back now and breaking up was a good decision. i put every ounce of my being into him and i mean every ounce. they break up wasnt as difficult as i thought it would be but still you put alot of time into someone hoping one day it will go somewhere. i dated another guy after that for 2-3 years and that went nowhere.

now i have no desire to get married and you know what i get? looked at funny cause i dont want to do what society deems is right. i wont date the good looking guy cause for the most part he is as stupid as a stump. the next guy i date wont be that great looking to others BUT he will have the qualities i want, ambition and personality, which will make him the best looking man in the world to me regardless of what others think.

yes i am

you are lucky to surround yourself with the perfect male friends cause there is usually one in a crowd who is shallow. show the rest of us women where these men are....dont keep them to yourself:thumbsup

They're in university, studying things like art, philosophy, history and literature :glugglug

and drinking maybe? lol

well i hope they find the right women to date and i hope they never enter that shallow zone. there is someone out there for everyone if that everyone wants to hook up with that someone.

Ambition leads to success.

Ambition also indicates future plans. Women want security and stability now and in the future. Not just financially, but emotionally as well. That won't happen with a guy who just wants to take it one day at a time. Even if your dreams are a lightyear away, as long as you are working towards them and lay your plans out... that's all most women want. Most women can be appeased by a game plan, but we also want to see it in action, to know we're headed in the right direction and if we're not, we want to be set free so we can find that with someone else. Most women aren't into settling for a movie and sex with a hot guy for years and years at a time.

I don't know why anyone, men or women would want to waste time and effort, on something that is basically "we'll see what happens". That's very disappointing and draining, because if anything, a relationship should be on steady ground, not up in the air.

if he was hung like a horse he would hurt my tight pussy:helpme

Both!!!:)

Guess you missed the news?

He stabbed himself in the chest and commited suicide a few days ago.

http://www.theage.com.au/articles/20...631552246.html

:(

Both!!! :1orglaugh

ah 'past tense' as in 'got some' - damn ive been confused lately.

hahaha:1orglaugh

I totally agree with this part!