Well in some states...Texas for one, Colorado is another don't know about NY...if the managing conservator i.e. the parent who maintains a majority of the possession of the kids signs up for any type of assistance, the States go after the other parent to help pay.

Not saying this applies to you, but it does happen and Gemini just may be thinking of a case like this.

I know a d*mned sight more than you do about it BVF. We're in the third court battle with her (ex's) county since 1996. Oh yeah, we were assured it wouldn't happen by the attorney that handled the divorce for the hubby and the attorney was up in his ex's county 3 months later for the very first battle.

I don't foam at the mouth like some do here about such things.

Congrats man , glad it worked out for you. :thumbsup

You are welcome to come around the kids and her family. That's great, it's not very many families that can have it like that after a divorce.
But the way you said it made you sound like a complete ass, to me at least.

I was married, had 2 kids, and divorced before I was 19. I never got a fucking penny from my ex-husband, and my kids were never supported by welfare. I worked and went to school (thank god for my parents and sisters who babysat). We always lived in our own apartment, had a decent car, food, clothes, etc. I didn't need their worthless father, and I didn't need welfare.

I good friend of mine was divorced a couple of years ago. He had to pay $1000 child support (1 kid) and $700 spousal support per month. Of course, she quit working the minute he said he wanted a divorce. She hasn't worked since, living in the 3-bdrm house with inground pool she was awarded, with the CS and SS covering her expenses. She's a drunk, and he recently was awarded custody of their kid. Her check went from $1700 per month to $700 and she's raising hell with him, "how am I supposed to live???". The bitch needs to get a job.

Some things should just never ever be posted on a place like GFY.

I so happy to hear that you plan to have a positive and active part in your childrens' lives. More fathers should be like that!

When I hear a man celebrating the fact that he doesn't have to pay child support, I tend to get my knickers in a twist. I grew up with one of those fathers who was bitter about paying child support because it 'just went to that bitch' (my mom). My mom wasn't some coked up alcoholic party chick either. She worked 40 hours a week in a shitty grocery store to support us all on her own.

why should a child suffer because 2 people cant get along? i 100% believe that both parents should have to pay child support if they divorce. i dont care if the child(ren) live with the mother or not, each parent should put a percentage of their net salary every month into an account for their child(ren) that can only be used for that childs(rens) needs (ie, medical, clothing, food, etc...)

no one and i mean no one should be excluded from support and
as a "parent", you should WANT to pay for your child even if you will never see him/her for if that is the only thing that you can do, it makes you a better person then not.

if you are smart enough to fuck around, then somewhere you have to pay the consequences whether it be an abortion or support for the next 18-23 years.

on a not so positive note, she can bring you (bvf) into court whenever she wants just to be even more spiteful then she has already been. it sucks and it's not fair and the laws really need to be re-worked, but that is the way it is for now so dont be surprised. court documents in cases like this are not solid and i have seen it a few times with a few male friends of mine. the laws are in the woman's favor even if they arent suppose to be.

if anything, i hope your kids come out of this with minimal injury.

Selling out and saving money concerning your kids and the Lord is Good? Feel sorry for you children.

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/showth...hreadid=183353 (yesterday)

"...She ignored the video I showed her of my wife being passed out and intoxicated with my daughter present and ..."

You have been ranting about what a bad mother she is on this bb for a while. I actually thought you were a stand up father but instead you post that saving money is more important than the welfare of your children.

Once again, I hope maybe they will adopt my idea for a new child support system.

Many states now use 'debit cards' for welfare recipients. Since one of the main gripes between parents when child support is paid is that none of it ever gets to the kids...why not make it so that the support is paid into an account that the parent (who receives the payment) can only access by using a 'debit card'. Then monthly an accounting of purchases can be sent to both parents. The paying parent can actually see what their money is going toward and if there's any question of the money being misused they can go to court with statements in hand.

50

51

Is this your main purpose in life?

http://www.gofuckyourself.com/search...r&userid=12451

Some people literally have no life.

you're very lucky man!!!
you will not support them?

They IGNORED the tape, the protection order, the contempt of court, EVERYTHING! They wanted to give the child to the mother regardless...family court services already recommended that in their report to the judge...they also recommended that I only get once a week on the phone and every other weekend...Plus the child support was a killer...they said since she now lives with her mother, that she is "getting her life together"...So I was already fighting an uphill battle...

So until YOU show up in court and get reamed even though you're a good father, then you might have a clue what the fuck you're talking about... :321GFY

SLY, sweetie, they must have taught a different kind of math, where you're from, lol. Her- 9 mos., him- 3 mos. That's not shared custody. She has them 6 mos. more than he does. He owes her child support for 6 months out of the year, plain and simple. And the argument about women taking child support money and using it for drugs, boyfriends, or whatever, matters nata, unless she's doing that. It's his responsibility to pay it, for his *kids*, and if she's not taking care of them properly with it, then he needs to take her back to court. But I'm assuming the quality of their care is not an issue, since he willingly agreed for her to have them 3/4 of the year.

And yes, she may be sitting around in the PK shirt, and things are hunky dory right now, but chances are that's not gonna hold up. I'm sure he'll support his kids and do for them, but they both need to have a court ordered child support and visitation schedule to help keep things good between them. Trying to do the "we'll just work it out amongst ourselves" thing, is the single worst way to guarantee nothing but headaches. It may sound good now, but as soon as one has a new bf/gf the other doesn't like, or she decides she wants money for something that he doesn't think is necessary, etc, then the whole thing will blow up and they'll be at each other's throats again. Court orders spell everything out nice and neat and keep both of them from holding money, time with the kids, or anything else, over each other's heads when things get tense between mommy and daddy. It's sort of like lending money to a family member or friend- you still better have a signed agreement. :)

For the record- this is not against BVF, or even a mother/father thing. I believe he takes care of his kids. The person(s) who has the kids the most deserves support, weather it's the mother, father, g'parent, relative, or friend.

I'm glad the two of you are getting along again. I know your kids must be happy about it. :)

Usually the X will have a new purse the next day, that was the same amount as the check he wrote.
:1orglaugh

congrats bvf. looks like the best outcome for everyone :0

Well, okay then. :1orglaugh Didn't see any of that tape business before I posted.

Ummm...I think I have no comment. :1orglaugh

the people jumping on bvf's ass haven't been following the saga over the last few months. his post has to be read in context you sanctimonious assholes.

and you people call yourselves board whores.. pffft.

congrats

9 months here 3 there is great for kids.

i dont know if i agree with you on that. for 9 months out of the year those kids are away from him which means they have to learn him and he has to learn them all over again everytime they see each other. that is tough on kids and god only knows what kind of shit their heads will be filled with. women are very vindictive and i can say that....

I think the person that gets the kids should be the one to pay for the kids.

Holly, darling, I had straight A's in math. I'm a product of a divorced couple with split custody over 3 children, I know how split custody works. For 12 years I lived with my dad during the school year, during the summer I spent one night a week and 3 weekends of a month with him. My mom had custody in the summer, and during the winter I spent one night a week and 3 weekends of a month with her. My mom usually had custody of us on holidays as well.

It was awarded as split custody, that's how it works. Split custody isn't just 50/50, it can be a variety of equations. It's weird, but that's how it works best to fit in with the school schedule.

If this is your subtle way of asking me if I'll have kids with you, the answer is, "no". I might be down for a little cyber, though. :girl

Pic?

Sure. I'd love to see a pic of you. ICQ # is in sig. :thumbsup

I think this is a matter of semantics. In my state it's called "joint custody". Either way, her supporting the kids for 9 months out of the year, and him doing it for 3, is not equal. I realize she "agreed" to no support. That doesn't mean she's not entitled to it those other six months, or wouldn't have been awarded it if they had gone before the judge. I bet you a million bucks she would have gotten it. If I understood him right, though, he's still gonna pay her during those months, it will just be something they agree upon themselves. I was simply pointing out that they'd both probably be better off to have it put in writing and not leave it "open". That's setting them up for a world of shit, on down the line. They have many, many years ahead to deal with one another, and you never know what will happen down the road.

Now that's enough. I'm tired of talking about someone else's divorce. Just hush and send me naked pictures of you with that headset thing on.

Yeah I knew it was your ex..I think too many judge from the picture in your sig :1orglaugh

..you're clean in my book and congrats :thumbsup

sarcasm....


besides your above mentioned, it disrupts their lifelong friendships, and plenty more.


but hey, divorce sucks. toughest on the kiddies. want a sure future, become a shrink.

you're his ex? :eek7

Yes. I thought everyone knew that by now.

your happy you don't have to pay support? your a dickhead.

maybe she will use some of the money for things she needs. ie. her hair. but ultimately it is coming out of her pocket for the kids.

if she is not taking care of the kids at all, your an even bigger dick head for not wanting full custody.

why so he can buy that bitch a fucking Escalade?

Tuck it away as they get older, and kick em what they need throughout the year but dont just hand over wads of bucks to the mom.

Congrats

What the fuck can't you idiots understand? I WILL BE AROUND ALL OF THE FUCKING TIME!! That means that my wallet will be constantly open to buy shit for them....I'll be in her state every other week...I'm going to maintain TWO HOMES just so that I can be around my mom and see my children on the regular....I'm paying for most shit now anyway.....What in the fuck is the problem with not wanting to have an exorbitant abount of money taken out of my check when i'm WILLINGLY taking care of most of the financial responsibility of my kids now?

Jesus you assmunches can't read worth a shit!!

congrats! glad it worked out for ya and the courts didn't rape you! :thumbsup

If it bothers you so damn much why don't you send her some cash?