Funny shit!

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i use to work in tech support and let me tell you would be amazed at this shit I heard

I still do tech support work and let me tell you... nothing has changed but remote support has at least made it fun. I love to connect to a customer's computer and tell them how nice they look. It really freak's 'em out!

Me: "No, Mom, not on the keyboard; it's on the computer."
My Mother: "Computer?"
Me: "Yes, that gray box on the floor."
My Mother: "Ah, the engine!"
Me: "Engine?"
My Mother: "Yes, it's making lots of noise."
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My Teacher: "Do you have a booty disk on hand?"
Me: (almost losing it) "Don't you mean a boot disk?"
My Teacher: "Oh no. I need a booty disk to make the system booty up."
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Customer: "I am getting an error on my computer"
Tech Support: "What kind of error?"
Customer: "It says I have a corrupted file on my hard drive, and I should run 'Check Disk'."
Tech Support: "Ok, we need to call in a ticket, and someone will be down shortly."
Customer: "Can you make sure you bring some extra Check Disks, because mine does not work."
Tech Support: "Uh. We're out of stock right now, but I'll order some."
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Customer: "I need to print out my letter here."
Me: "Ok, what program did you use to create it?"
Customer: "Macintosh!"
Me: "No, what actual program did you use. Was it MacWrite? Claris?"
Customer: "Microsoft."
Me: "OK, you used Microsoft Word. We have that here, so go ahead and sit down at one of these Macs."
Customer: "It wasn't Microsoft Word. It was Windows!"
Me: "I need to know what kind of computer you used. Was it a Macintosh or an IBM?"
Customer: "I don't think it was an IBM."
Me: "It could be an IBM compatible. Do you remember anything about what kind of computer it was?"
Customer: "Microsoft!"
Me: "Did the computer have a little apple on the front of it?"
Customer: "I think so."
Me: (What I should have done five minutes ago...) "Give me the disk, and I'll put it in my computer and check it out."
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ROFLMAO!!

Oh boy, i just can't stop laughing.

Customer: "This may sound strange, but my friend told me that if I emptied my cash box, it would help the Internet go faster. Ever heard of that?"
Tech Support: "I believe he was referring to the cache files in your AOL folder."
Customer: "No, he specifically said cash box. And I think it's the one in my Quicken software. How do I empty that? And what happens to my cash balance?"

hahahahaha....... ok, i'm going to stop working for an hour LOL

More:

Tech Support: "Hmm, sounds like your system froze up."
Customer: "I don't know why. It's about 80 degrees in here!"

ROFLMAO:

Salesman: "It has a built in color monitor and comes with a mouse and keyboard--"
Customer: "Does this thing come with a battery backup system?"
Salesman: "No, but we have one over there for $99.00. Do you have problems with power outages?"
Customer: "No, but I don't want to lose all of my Microsoft documents everytime I turn off the computer!"
Salesman: "You don't need a battery backup for that. That's why it has a 4 gigabyte hard drive."
Customer: "A hard what?"
Salesman: "A hard drive. It's like a whole bunch of floppy disks inside your computer that you can store documents on."
Customer: "I want the battery backup."
Salesman: "You don't need it."
Customer: "Why?"

You better not posted this...... i don't think i'll be able to work anymore today.
To all it may concern: all projects are now on hold, i need to go outside and get a grib.

Client: My computer just gave me an error and stopped working.
Me: Okay, what's on the screen right now.
Client: Nothing.
Me: Nothing?
Client: Yes, nothing.
Me: There's nothing on the screen?
Client: No
Me: Is the power light on?
Client: Yes
Me: and there's no writing on the screen at all.
Client: No
Me: So the screen is completely black, correct?
Client: No, there's white letters on it.
Me: I thought you said there was nothing on the screen?
Client: Yes, that's correct, there's nothing on the screen.
Me: But you just said there were white letters!
Client: Yes, there are.
Me: So, there are white letters?
Client: Yes
Me: Okay, why don't you just start at the top and tell me what letters are there.

Heh, many moons ago, I did phone support to a very technical product... this quote hurt to laugh at

hahaha

Hehehe.. Funny & Sad

Very funny thanks

I used to be Department Manager of electronics at Wal-Mart for a few years. I used to hear it all. From one old guy wanting to return a TV that he just bought because he swore up and down that his coaxial cable wouldn't fit on the cable port of the TV. I tried to convince the dude for like 30 minutes that his cable would fit, but he insisted that it wouldn't, so we ended up giving him his money back and he went up to K-Mart, ha ha ha.

Another stupid person was this lady that bought 2 new ink cartridges for her HP printer. Well, she brought both of them back saying that they didn't work, so we just gave her 2 new ones. Well, she brought THOSE back. Come to find out, she wasn't pulling that little piece of tape off of them before she inserted them in, ha ha ha.

LMFAO

Glad you guys are enjoying this site so much. Wish it was my site.

Customer: "I don't have a computer at home. Is the Internet available in book form?"
OMG, I seriously laughed out loud!

HAHAHAHAH

HOOOOOOOO SHIT !!!!

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I had this conversation recently with a lady who swore she had been using computers since forever.


Tech Support: "All right. Now click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "Yes, click 'OK'."
Customer: "Click 'OK'?"
Tech Support: "That's right. Click 'OK'."
Customer: "So I click 'OK', right?"
Tech Support: "Right. Click 'OK'."
Pause.

Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "YOU CLICKED 'CANCEL'???"
Customer: "That's what I was supposed to do, right?"
Tech Support: "No, you were supposed to click 'OK'."
Customer: "I thought you said to click 'Cancel'."
Tech Support: "NO. I said to click 'OK'."
Customer: "Oh."
Tech Support: "Now we have to start over."
Customer: "Why?"
Tech Support: "Because you clicked 'Cancel'."
Customer: "Wasn't I supposed to click 'Cancel'?"
Tech Support: "No. Forget that. Let's start from the top."
Customer: "Ok."
I spent the next fifteen minutes re-constructing the carefully crafted setup for this lady's unique computer.


Tech Support: "All right. Now, are you ready to click 'OK'?"
Customer: "Yes."
Tech Support: "Great. Now click 'OK'."
Pause.


Customer: "I clicked 'Cancel'."
And people wonder why my mouse pad has a target on it labeled "BANG HEAD HERE."

this one hits home
Tech Support: "This is technical support returning your call for support. How can I help you?"
Customer: "I want to lodge a complaint."
Tech Support: "What seems to be the problem?"
Customer: "I specifically asked you not to program my Internet with pornography. I want it removed immediately."

Tala reads more than I do

this cracked me up , hahaha

Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
Customer: "Ok."
Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
Customer: "No."
Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?"
Customer: "Sure, you told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'."
(At this point I had to put the caller on hold to tell the rest of the tech support staff what had happened. I couldn't, however, stop from giggling when I got back to the call.)
Tech Support: "Ok, did you type 'click' with the keyboard?"
Customer: "I have done something dumb, right?"

Sorry. I like to read.