This diamond ring is too big!

You need what?... free pics? sure, I'll pose for your friends.

I cheated on ur ass.

:glugglug :glugglug

"I wanna sleep with RedBumper"

how does my camel toe look in this outfit?

"i want a prenuptial agreement"

- No your honor. He earned all the money. All I did was spend and supervise the maid. I really don't deserve any of it.

"I think you need more female friends"

:)

"You're right my ass does look big in these jeans"

Blah, diamonds are corny and may good look on a 50+ woman, I don't like them at all.
However I am not content.

Big dicks are cool.. and I don't like shopping either :)

Not me... I did not ask alimony being so glad to get rid of that drunkard ex of mine.. and I spent my heard earned money.

Vaginal orgasms are a lie.

Would you mind babysitting my kids for a little while, SexEducation?

"most women"
"its just a car i dont get it, its nothing special a car is a car"
"ill suck your dick whyle you sleep its no big deal to me"
"your right i am being self concious"

"Let's think this through rationally."

"I take full responsibility."

"I love it when you fart in bed"

"Pour yourself another whisky while I clean up your spew"

"You'll never guess who fucked me today"

"I was going to treat myself today, but realised you almost emptied your drinks cabinet yesterday and decided it better to re-stock it for you"

With the exception of women in the industry..

"Fuck me please."

"I'm lying. I don't really have a headache because, afterall, orgasms cure headaches.. I just want to hold out on sex because it's a weapon that I can use!"