****** Jokes - GoFuckYourself.com

dougeetx · 08-25-2003, 10:34 AM

Yes, I am black (as you probably know) but I was searching Kazaa Lite for some stuff and I came across these. They were so offensive I couldn't do anything but laugh!

How do you get ******s out of your neighborhood?
Hide all the good cardboard boxes

Why do police dogs lick their asses so much?
To get the taste of ****** out of their mouths

Why do ******s have flat noses?
When they are born the doctor drops them on the floor, steps on the back of their heads and jerks the tail out.

What's black and white and red all over?
A ****** and seagull fighting over a french fry on the Jersey shore!

What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk?
A ****** and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing!

Why do ******s wear high-heeled shoes?
So their knuckles don't scrape the ground!

Did you hear about the little black kid who got diarrhea?
He thought he was melting

What do ******s and sperm have in common?
Only one in two million work!

What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbeque?
Charcoal.
Kentucky Fried ******

How do you make a ****** nervous?
Take him to an auction.

What do you call two ****** motorcycle cops?
Chocolate CHiPs.

A cowboy, an indian, and a black man are sitting at a bar. the indian turns to the black man and says, "We once were many but now we're few". the black man replies, "We once were few but now we're many". the cowbay over hears all this and says to the black man, " Thats because we haven't played cowboys and ******s yet".

Why do blacks stink?
So blind people can hate them too.

Did you hear of the new Black Barbie?
It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check .

What does NAACP stand for?
******s are actually colored polocks.

Whats Big, Long, Black and smelly?
The Welfare Line in Harlem.

What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion?
A member of Crimestoppers of America.

Whats the difference between a black and a snow tire?
A snow tire won't sing when you put chains on it.

There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor.
A white family lives on the top floor.
A mexican family lives on the second floor
A ****** family lives on the botom floor.
At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building,
totally destroying it. Which family lived?

The White family because both parents were at work and the kids were in school.

What the most confusing day in the ****** neighborhood?
Fathers Day

What is the American dream?
All the ******s go back to Africa with a Jew under each arm!

A ship sinks and the only survivors are a Russian, a Jamaican, a skinhead and a ******. At sea for days, they finally come within sight of land. The Russian opens a hidden bottle of Stoli vodka, takes one swig and throws the remainder of the bottle into the water much to the other passangers dismay. The Russian explains that where he comes from, there is plenty of Stoli, it is worth nothing and means nothing. The Jamaican then procceds to light a huge blunt, takes one hit, and then throw the remainder to sea explaining, 'Mon, in my country we have plenty of marijuanna, it is worth nothing, means nothing.' So then the White man from New Jersey throws the ****** into the water!

What do you say to a black man in uniform?
"I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke."

What is a ******'s favorite anti-perspirant?
Unemployment.

How can you spot a Black masochist?
He's the one working for a living.

Hear about the black version of "Shogun"?
It's called "Shonuff".
Why did all the blacks die in Vietnam?
When the sergent said "Get down!", they got up and started dancing.

What did the black kid get for Christmas?
My bike.

What do you call a black-midget in Ireland?
A lepra-coon.

What are the six words you never ever want to hear a black man say?
"Hi, I be yo' new neighbor."

How is transportation being improved in Harlem?
They're planting the trees closer together.

Why do blacks call white people "honkies"?
That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over.

How was break dancing invented?
By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars.

Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many ******s?
California had first choice.

What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks?
A victim.
Twenty blacks?
Coach
Thirty?
Quarterback
200 blacks?
Warden

What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist?
A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time.

What's green and pink and purple and orange?
A ****** dressed for church.

What is the New York State motto?
Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a ****** in Central park."

What do you say to a ****** in a three-piece suit?
"Will the defendant please rise."

Why don't ******s celebrate Thanksgiving.?
Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays.

Did you hear about the ****** with insomnia?
He kept waking up twice a week.

What do ******s say during foreplay?
"If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!"

If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be?
The brains of the outfit.

What is eight miles long and has an I.Q. of 68?
The "Martin Luther King Day" parade.

How do you stop five ******s from raping a white woman?
Throw them a basketball.

What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school?
How to unlock a car with a coat hanger.

Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem?
Cats keep trying to bury the baby ******s.

Hear about the new perfume for black women?
It's called "Eau de doo dah day."

Why are so many ******s moving to Detroit?
They heard there were no jobs there.

What is white yet has a black asshole?
The Washington D.C. Mayor's office.

What does cotton have in common with noses?
******s are good at picking both.

What do you call a conversation betwen Jesse Jackson and James Brown?
Gibberish

Why was the wheelbarrow invented?
To teach ******s to walk on their hind legs.

What is printed on all African products?
"Untouched by human hands."

What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead ****** in the road?
Skid marks in front of the dog.

How many ******s does it take to roof a building?
Ten, if you slice them thin enough.

sexyclicks · 08-25-2003, 10:35 AM

GrimShawn · 08-25-2003, 10:40 AM

Why did so many blacks get killed in Vietnam?

Cuz every time the General said "GET DOWN" they all started dancing!!

Dreamman010 · 08-25-2003, 10:42 AM

Yeah, I find them funny as well although I have nothing against blacks.

I just remembered this one:

"What do you a call a black guy on a tree with a brief case?"
-"Branch manager"

TDF · 08-25-2003, 10:44 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by GrimShawn
Why did so many blacks get killed in Vietnam?

Cuz every time the General said "GET DOWN" they all started dancing!!

shitstain · 08-25-2003, 10:45 AM

i can't even type that word without feeling like I will get my ass kicked.. lol...

Not even eminem will say the "N" word..

dougeetx · 08-25-2003, 10:47 AM

I'm a "sellout" and a "Uncle Tom" as people have called me here on GFY. Yes, I am married to a white lady and have half white kids. Yes, I do live in a big ole house in the richest part of the Dallas metroplex. Yes, I do speak proper English. When I was growing up, 99% of my friends were white but growing up in Louisiana, they still had "KKK Tendencies". So, they would tell racist jokes around me and then remember that I'm there. My favorite was, "What do you call a black man in court? GUILTY!"

shitstain · 08-25-2003, 10:48 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dougeetx
I'm a "sellout" and a "Uncle Tom" as people have called me here on GFY. Yes, I am married to a white lady and have half white kids. Yes, I do live in a big ole house in the richest part of the Dallas metroplex. Yes, I do speak proper English. When I was growing up, 99% of my friends were white but growing up in Louisiana, they still had "KKK Tendencies". So, they would tell racist jokes around me and then remember that I'm there. My favorite was, "What do you call a black man in court? GUILTY!"

uncle tom

rooster · 08-25-2003, 10:50 AM

what do you call 2000 ******s buried at the bottom of the sea?

A good start

<IMX> · 08-25-2003, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dougeetx
I'm a "sellout" and a "Uncle Tom" as people have called me here on GFY. Yes, I am married to a white lady and have half white kids. Yes, I do live in a big ole house in the richest part of the Dallas metroplex. Yes, I do speak proper English. When I was growing up, 99% of my friends were white but growing up in Louisiana, they still had "KKK Tendencies". So, they would tell racist jokes around me and then remember that I'm there. My favorite was, "What do you call a black man in court? GUILTY!"

Identity issues huh?

dougeetx · 08-25-2003, 10:52 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by rooster
what do you call 2000 ******s buried at the bottom of the sea?

A good start

Is Fletch XXX included in that???? LOL! Sorry Fletch XXX!! Old habits are hard to break!

stevet · 08-25-2003, 10:54 AM

What do steriods and the KKK have in common?
They both make ******s run really fast.

Whats the difference between Simba and OJ?
Ones an African Lion, the others a Lyin African.

billywatson · 08-25-2003, 10:54 AM

You know what's crazy? Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods both had the same nickname in high school:

******.

SpaceAce · 08-25-2003, 10:56 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by shitstain
i can't even type that word without feeling like I will get my ass kicked.. lol...

Not even eminem will say the "N" word..

I hate that word. I never liked it and eight years with a black woman has made me like it even less. It's great that dougeetx can laugh at these jokes but to me they're just not funny.

I think they would be funny if they were written or distributed in the name of humor or good-natured ribbing but hate just isn't particularly amusing. Even if the statement is witty, the idea behind it is not.

SpaceAce

Danny_C · 08-25-2003, 10:57 AM

Where are the honky jokes? That's what I'm waiting for.

alias · 08-25-2003, 10:57 AM

Scott McD · 08-25-2003, 11:01 AM

Does Michael Jackson still qualify as a ****** ??

dougeetx · 08-25-2003, 11:10 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Danny_C
Where are the honky jokes? That's what I'm waiting for.

Hey Danny,

I can oblige to them, too! :-)

C_U_Next_Tuesday · 08-25-2003, 11:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Danny_C
Where are the honky jokes? That's what I'm waiting for.

watch out..white people might get offended and call you racist

Gutterboy sure is missing out on this thread.. would have made his heart skip a beat or two in anticipation

Tofu · 08-25-2003, 11:15 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dougeetx
I'm a "sellout" and a "Uncle Tom" as people have called me here on GFY. Yes, I am married to a white lady and have half white kids. Yes, I do live in a big ole house in the richest part of the Dallas metroplex. Yes, I do speak proper English. When I was growing up, 99% of my friends were white but growing up in Louisiana, they still had "KKK Tendencies". So, they would tell racist jokes around me and then remember that I'm there. My favorite was, "What do you call a black man in court? GUILTY!"

its good that people can look at these jokes for what they are: JOKES! I grew up in the same manner, but that was AFTER my Mom came up from the ghetto and moved us to the richest part of town.

Loryn · 08-25-2003, 11:20 AM

skrowyenom · 08-25-2003, 11:21 AM

dougeetx · 08-25-2003, 11:23 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Tofu-Adult.com

its good that people can look at these jokes for what they are: JOKES! I grew up in the same manner, but that was AFTER my Mom came up from the ghetto and moved us to the richest part of town.

Thanks Tofu! My mom worked her ars off to give us a better life!

GrimShawn · 08-25-2003, 11:24 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Scott McD
Does Michael Jackson still qualify as a ****** ??

I think he's a wanna be wigger

pauliewalnutz · 08-25-2003, 11:24 AM

ok since this was started by a black man i will tell this joke.

Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza??

A large pizza feeds a family of four.

Buh-Hoe · 08-25-2003, 11:26 AM

Why don't sharks eat black people?

They think it's whale shit!

aflex · 08-25-2003, 11:26 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by dougeetx

What's black and white and red all over?
A ****** and seagull fighting over a french fry on the Jersey shore!

smack · 08-25-2003, 11:33 AM

this is great. i'm sitting here reading this and lstening to that paul mooney album TDF posted the other day. fucking hilarious.

Lensman · 08-25-2003, 11:36 AM

dougeetx = Strike 1

08-25-2003, 10:34 AM	#1
dougeetx Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 6,163	**** Jokes Yes, I am black (as you probably know) but I was searching Kazaa Lite for some stuff and I came across these. They were so offensive I couldn't do anything but laugh! How do you get **s out of your neighborhood? Hide all the good cardboard boxes Why do police dogs lick their asses so much? To get the taste of ** out of their mouths Why do **s have flat noses? When they are born the doctor drops them on the floor, steps on the back of their heads and jerks the tail out. What's black and white and red all over? A ** and seagull fighting over a french fry on the Jersey shore! What's black and white and goes rolling along the boardwalk? A ** and a pigeon fighting over a chicken wing! Why do **s wear high-heeled shoes? So their knuckles don't scrape the ground! Did you hear about the little black kid who got diarrhea? He thought he was melting What do **s and sperm have in common? Only one in two million work! What do you call three blacks at a skinhead barbeque? Charcoal. Kentucky Fried ** How do you make a ** nervous? Take him to an auction. What do you call two ** motorcycle cops? Chocolate CHiPs. A cowboy, an indian, and a black man are sitting at a bar. the indian turns to the black man and says, "We once were many but now we're few". the black man replies, "We once were few but now we're many". the cowbay over hears all this and says to the black man, " Thats because we haven't played cowboys and **s yet". Why do blacks stink? So blind people can hate them too. Did you hear of the new Black Barbie? It comes with 12 kids, AIDS and a welfare check . What does NAACP stand for? **s are actually colored polocks. Whats Big, Long, Black and smelly? The Welfare Line in Harlem. What do you call a black woman who gets an abortion? A member of Crimestoppers of America. Whats the difference between a black and a snow tire? A snow tire won't sing when you put chains on it. There is a 3 story apartment building with 1 apartment on each floor. A white family lives on the top floor. A mexican family lives on the second floor A ** family lives on the botom floor. At 2:00 PM in the afternoon a terrrible tornado hits the building, totally destroying it. Which family lived? The White family because both parents were at work and the kids were in school. What the most confusing day in the ** neighborhood? Fathers Day What is the American dream? All the **s go back to Africa with a Jew under each arm! A ship sinks and the only survivors are a Russian, a Jamaican, a skinhead and a **. At sea for days, they finally come within sight of land. The Russian opens a hidden bottle of Stoli vodka, takes one swig and throws the remainder of the bottle into the water much to the other passangers dismay. The Russian explains that where he comes from, there is plenty of Stoli, it is worth nothing and means nothing. The Jamaican then procceds to light a huge blunt, takes one hit, and then throw the remainder to sea explaining, 'Mon, in my country we have plenty of marijuanna, it is worth nothing, means nothing.' So then the White man from New Jersey throws the ** into the water! What do you say to a black man in uniform? "I'll have a Big Mac with cheese and a coke." What is a **'s favorite anti-perspirant? Unemployment. How can you spot a Black masochist? He's the one working for a living. Hear about the black version of "Shogun"? It's called "Shonuff". Why did all the blacks die in Vietnam? When the sergent said "Get down!", they got up and started dancing. What did the black kid get for Christmas? My bike. What do you call a black-midget in Ireland? A lepra-coon. What are the six words you never ever want to hear a black man say? "Hi, I be yo' new neighbor." How is transportation being improved in Harlem? They're planting the trees closer together. Why do blacks call white people "honkies"? That's the last noise they hear before the white people run them over. How was break dancing invented? By black kids stealing hubcaps from moving cars. Why does California have so many fags and New York have so many **s? California had first choice. What do you call a white guy surrounded by three blacks? A victim. Twenty blacks? Coach Thirty? Quarterback 200 blacks? Warden What is the difference between a "RAP" group's manager and a proctologist? A proctologist only deals with one asshole at a time. What's green and pink and purple and orange? A ** dressed for church. What is the New York State motto? Eat, Drink and be Merry, for tomorrow you may be killed by a ** in Central park." What do you say to a ** in a three-piece suit? "Will the defendant please rise." Why don't **s celebrate Thanksgiving.? Kentucky Fried Chicken isn't open on holidays. Did you hear about the ** with insomnia? He kept waking up twice a week. What do **s say during foreplay? "If you scream, bitch, I'll kill you!" If Tarzan and Jane were black, what would Cheetah be? The brains of the outfit. What is eight miles long and has an I.Q. of 68? The "Martin Luther King Day" parade. How do you stop five **s from raping a white woman? Throw them a basketball. What's the first thing taught in a Harlem driving school? How to unlock a car with a coat hanger. Why aren't there any sandboxes in Harlem? Cats keep trying to bury the baby **s. Hear about the new perfume for black women? It's called "Eau de doo dah day." Why are so many **s moving to Detroit? They heard there were no jobs there. What is white yet has a black asshole? The Washington D.C. Mayor's office. What does cotton have in common with noses? **s are good at picking both. What do you call a conversation betwen Jesse Jackson and James Brown? Gibberish Why was the wheelbarrow invented? To teach **s to walk on their hind legs. What is printed on all African products? "Untouched by human hands." What's the difference between a dead dog in the road and a dead ** in the road? Skid marks in front of the dog. How many ****s does it take to roof a building? Ten, if you slice them thin enough. __________________ Coming Soon! A NEW revolution in black adult social networking!

08-25-2003, 10:42 AM	#4
Dreamman010 Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2002 Location: Toronto, ON, Canada Posts: 1,081	Yeah, I find them funny as well although I have nothing against blacks. I just remembered this one: "What do you a call a black guy on a tree with a brief case?" -"Branch manager" __________________ <a href="http://www2.famoushost.com/home.php" target="_blank"><b><FONT COLOR="FFFF00">www.FamousHost.com</font></b></a><br>Free Hosting With No Headers, Real FTP, <u>Get listed on the biggest TGP's with us!</u>

08-25-2003, 10:45 AM	#6
shitstain Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Posts: 233	i can't even type that word without feeling like I will get my ass kicked.. lol... Not even eminem will say the "N" word.. __________________ Fresh Adult Email Lists, If<br> You Can't Make Money On These <br>Lists, <a href="http://www.mcdonalds.com/countries/usa/careers/index.html" target="_blank">Apply Here </a>

08-25-2003, 10:47 AM	#7
dougeetx Confirmed User Join Date: Apr 2002 Location: Dallas, TX Posts: 6,163	I'm a "sellout" and a "Uncle Tom" as people have called me here on GFY. Yes, I am married to a white lady and have half white kids. Yes, I do live in a big ole house in the richest part of the Dallas metroplex. Yes, I do speak proper English. When I was growing up, 99% of my friends were white but growing up in Louisiana, they still had "KKK Tendencies". So, they would tell racist jokes around me and then remember that I'm there. My favorite was, "What do you call a black man in court? GUILTY!" __________________ Coming Soon! A NEW revolution in black adult social networking!

08-25-2003, 10:54 AM	#13
billywatson Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2002 Location: The Valley o' Smut. Posts: 3,281	You know what's crazy? Michael Jordan and Tiger Woods both had the same nickname in high school: ******. __________________ We're Fabulous! PROTECT YOUR CONTENT on Twitter I Shoot Porn.

08-25-2003, 10:35 AM	#2
sexyclicks Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: c9media.com Posts: 3,240

08-25-2003, 10:40 AM	#3
GrimShawn Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: BONEPRONE MANSION serving drinks! Posts: 8,120	Why did so many blacks get killed in Vietnam? Cuz every time the General said "GET DOWN" they all started dancing!!

08-25-2003, 10:50 AM	#9
rooster Confirmed User Join Date: Jan 2003 Posts: 2,384	what do you call 2000 ******s buried at the bottom of the sea? A good start

08-25-2003, 10:54 AM	#12
stevet Confirmed User Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: Mexic....errr Los Angeles Posts: 172	What do steriods and the KKK have in common? They both make ******s run really fast. Whats the difference between Simba and OJ? Ones an African Lion, the others a Lyin African.

08-25-2003, 10:57 AM	#15
Danny_C Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2002 Location: Philadelphia, PA Posts: 2,160	Where are the honky jokes? That's what I'm waiting for.

08-25-2003, 10:57 AM	#16
alias aliasx Join Date: Apr 2001 Posts: 19,010

08-25-2003, 11:01 AM	#17
Scott McD Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Glasgow, Scotland Posts: 67,795	Does Michael Jackson still qualify as a **** ?? __________________ I Buy My High Quality Traffic Here, You Should Too!**

08-25-2003, 11:20 AM	#21
Loryn Super Connector Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Las Vegas Posts: 12,853	__________________ ~ loryn@loryntaylor . com ~ RIP TD

08-25-2003, 11:21 AM	#22
skrowyenom Registered User Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 489

08-25-2003, 11:24 AM	#25
pauliewalnutz Confirmed User Join Date: Jul 2003 Location: Hell Posts: 486	ok since this was started by a black man i will tell this joke. Whats the difference between a black man and a large pizza?? A large pizza feeds a family of four. __________________ <a href="http://netverifier.com/getpaid.asp?siteid=10018799"><img src="http://www.skyweb.net/~kgosselin/banners/newbanner.gif" border="0"></a><br><font color=white size=2> We provide the content to keep your members sticking around!<BR></font> <font color=white size=3>$45.00 per sale!</font>

08-25-2003, 11:26 AM	#26
Buh-Hoe Registered User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 25	Why don't sharks eat black people? They think it's whale shit!

08-25-2003, 11:33 AM	#28
smack Push Porn Like Weight. Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2002 Location: Inside .NET Posts: 10,652	this is great. i'm sitting here reading this and lstening to that paul mooney album TDF posted the other day. fucking hilarious. __________________ Cry havoc and let slip the dogs of war.

08-25-2003, 11:36 AM	#29
Lensman GFY Chaperone Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Adult.com Posts: 9,846	dougeetx = Strike 1