Tell me a fucking joke! - GoFuckYourself.com

Evil Chris · 08-16-2003, 07:15 PM

Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch, when one of them says, "I know that I'm going to have a boy."

The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says, "OK, how do you know you're going to have a boy?"

"Well, when the child was conceived," says the first women, "I was on top. So I'm going to have a boy."

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then the second woman says, "Well, I'm going to have a girl."

"OK," says the first one, "how do you know you're going to have a girl?"

"Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the bottom. So I'm going to have a girl."

They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third woman obviously getting more and more distressed, until finally she breaks down into horrible sobbing?

"What's wrong, what's wrong?" the first two women ask with concern.

The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long enough to only say one thing....

"I'm going to have a puppy!"

Spunky · 08-16-2003, 07:16 PM

Ice · 08-16-2003, 07:16 PM

lil2rich

Evil Chris · 08-16-2003, 07:19 PM

A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat dinner, and sit some more--would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit.

One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?"

Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The Ty-D-Bol® man?" and sat down on the sofa.

The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?"

Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?"

The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?" and again was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?"

Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today."

He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?"

"Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having sex with them."

"Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?" he asked. She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?"

Evil Chris · 08-16-2003, 07:20 PM

Q: How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb?

A: It depends whether the switch is on or off.

Evil Chris · 08-16-2003, 07:21 PM

Hey speaking of the blind, did you ever notice on airplanes that all indicators for passengers are in brail? Even the LIGHT above your seat?

tranza · 08-16-2003, 07:31 PM

One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin.
"Bubba," said Jimmy Joe, "where'd you get that truck?"
"Bobbi Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied.
"She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" said his skeptical friend.
"Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobbi Sue pulled off the road, put the truck into 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So, I took the truck!"
"Bubba, you are one smart man!" said Jimmy Joe. "Them clothes woulda never fit you."

PR_Dave · 08-16-2003, 07:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Evil Chris
Hey speaking of the blind, did you ever notice on airplanes that all indicators for passengers are in brail? Even the LIGHT above your seat?

no i haven't noticed

08-16-2003, 07:15 PM	#1
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,233	Tell me a fucking joke! Three pregnant women are sitting in a cafe having lunch, when one of them says, "I know that I'm going to have a boy." The other two women think about that for a moment, and then one of them says, "OK, how do you know you're going to have a boy?" "Well, when the child was conceived," says the first women, "I was on top. So I'm going to have a boy." They sit and eat for a few minutes more, and then the second woman says, "Well, I'm going to have a girl." "OK," says the first one, "how do you know you're going to have a girl?" "Well, when my child was conceived, I was on the bottom. So I'm going to have a girl." They sit and eat for a few minutes more, the third woman obviously getting more and more distressed, until finally she breaks down into horrible sobbing? "What's wrong, what's wrong?" the first two women ask with concern. The third woman manages to stifle her sobs long enough to only say one thing.... "I'm going to have a puppy!" __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

08-16-2003, 07:16 PM	#2
Spunky I need a beer Industry Role: Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: ♠ Toiletville ♠ Posts: 133,934	__________________ *YOUR INFORMATION HERE*

08-16-2003, 07:16 PM	#3
Ice Confirmed User Join Date: Nov 2002 Location: Sunny California Posts: 26,053	lil2rich __________________ icq 1904905

08-16-2003, 07:19 PM	#4
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,233	A woman could never get her husband to do anything around the house. He would come home from work, sit in front of the TV, eat dinner, and sit some more--would never do those little household repairs that most husbands take care of. This frustrated the woman quite a bit. One day the toilet stopped up. When her husband got home, she said sweetly, "Honey, the toilet is clogged. Would you look at it?" Her husband snarled, "What do I look like? The Ty-D-Bol® man?" and sat down on the sofa. The next day, the garbage disposal wouldn't work. When her husband got home, she said, very nicely, "Honey, the disposal won't work. Would you try to fix it for me?" Once again, he growled, "What do I look like? Mr. Plumber?" The next day, the washing machine was on the blink. When her husband got home, she steeled her courage and said, "Honey, the washer isn't running. Would you check on it?" and again was met with a snarl, "What do I look like? The Maytag repairman?" Finally, she had had enough. The next morning, the woman called three repairmen to fix the toilet, the garbage disposal, and the washer. When her husband got home, she said, "Honey, I had the repairmen out today." He frowned, "Well, how much is that going to cost?" "Well, honey, they all said I could pay them by baking them a cake or having sex with them." "Well, what kind of cakes did you bake them?" he asked. She smiled. "What do I look like? Betty Crocker?" __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

08-16-2003, 07:20 PM	#5
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,233	Q: How many blind people does it take to change a light bulb? A: It depends whether the switch is on or off. __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

08-16-2003, 07:21 PM	#6
Evil Chris OG Industry Role: Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: 3rd from the Sun Posts: 13,233	Hey speaking of the blind, did you ever notice on airplanes that all indicators for passengers are in brail? Even the LIGHT above your seat? __________________ It PAYZE to post on GFY chris at payze.com \| Skype chriswrp

08-16-2003, 07:31 PM	#7
tranza ICQ: 197-556-237 Join Date: Jun 2003 Location: BRASIL !!! Posts: 57,559	One day, Jimmy Joe was walking down Main Street when he saw his buddy Bubba driving a brand new pickup. Bubba pulled up to him with a wide grin. "Bubba," said Jimmy Joe, "where'd you get that truck?" "Bobbi Sue gave it to me," Bubba replied. "She gave it to you? I knew she was kinda sweet on ya, but a new truck?" said his skeptical friend. "Well, Jimmy Joe, let me tell you what happened. We were driving out on County Road 6, in the middle of nowhere. Bobbi Sue pulled off the road, put the truck into 4-wheel drive, and headed into the woods. She parked the truck, got out, threw off all her clothes and said, 'Bubba, take whatever you want.' So, I took the truck!" "Bubba, you are one smart man!" said Jimmy Joe. "Them clothes woulda never fit you." __________________ I'm just a newbie.