FYI... not that you care.

[Morgan]

On the "Lost Coast of California," brothers Frank and Cloud discuss plans to grow marijuana. Cloud has gotten only one seed from the "genetic genius" Honey, but promises a tree-sized plant. He also gets "heavy vibrations" from a rock on which he meditates and near which he plants the seed.

Honey and husband Moss fret about government confiscation of homes in the "war on drugs." She has produced coconut-sized "cannabis sequoia" seeds, thinking that the plants will be so big, no one will see them really. Moss hopes not to have to go back to work at the drive-in, for he is tired of Japanese monster movies. They camoflage themselves to go planting.

Beneath the American flag, C.A.M.P. (Campaign Against Marijuana Planting) organizes its mission. Sheriff Drew Firth cedes authority to E. Edwin Cromwell III, a Washington D.C. weasel who speaks to his "fellow Republicans" about the "war on drugs" and "freedom fighters." Drugs are "keeping people off the production line where they belong." Those who object are "intellectual mutants left over from the '60s." We see footage of police raids accompanied by the song "Living in a Police State." But a large clay lizard snatches a bundle of weed during a helicopter lift.

Professor Sprog has only one student, his assistant Fenwick, but lectures on Tyrannosaurus Herbivorous Ganjasaurus Rex, G-Rex, who fed on plants. He refers to an egg left over and hatched off the coast of Japan some years ago, and describes the spurning of Godzilla. Cromwell listens in and proposes dinner for the three of them and the Professor's daughter/secretary Cassandra. The others order soy burgers and carrot juice; Cromwell wants a Ramboburger and Folgers with Sweet-n-Low. He promises money but need the Professor's expertise regarding the G-Rex which has been sighted.

The C.A.M.P. hotline--1-800-MONSTER--receives calls from locals but pilots are chickening out, so Cromwell is pissy: "Don't they know this is Nancy's pet project?" He threatens the Sheriff that he'll call the Reverend Jerry to pit religious fundamentalists against the locals. Or he'll use the "ultimate weapon to keep the peace," a nuclear bomb.

Frank, Cloud, Honey, and Moss eat their lentil dinner and watch tv. "What're you watching? A Japanese monster movie?" "No, it's the news." Cloud and Frank check their plant and realize it wasn't a rock that Cloud was in touch with, it was the dormant G-Rex, now on the loose.

Cromwell explains anti-grower strategies in football terms. "We gotta win one for the Gipper." He has recognized the tree-sized plants and burns Honey and Moss's trees. The two go to the burn site and sneak close to the flames to become "intoxicated by the fumes." Arlene, Cromwell's repressed assistant, is also giddy. The G-Rex is attracted by the smell and the town panics. The Professor rushes out with his equipment to try to record the G-Rex and use the tapes as a lure. G-Rex arrives at the burn site, cries, and wanders off.

"Cromwell is talking about nuking Rex!" Cloud runs off to communicate with the creature. Frank grabs an ax and shows up next in the Sheriff's office with a gigantic marijuana bud. "This bud's for you," to try to lure Rex. The Professor is delighted by this extinct specimen and Cromwell first want to arrest Frank but goes along with the plan.

We decide Cloud has been squished and join the military operation in which the bud lure doesn't work. Cromwell wants to nuke the creature. They try the Professor's "vocalizations" but this doesn't lure the creature out to sea either. Cromwell wants to nuke it. Cassandra makes the Professor realize the G-Rex is female; he adjusts the "vocalizations" and saves the day.

[tranza]

Fuck.... This text is too big....

[brizzad]

[Morgan]

I know... sorry