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Discuss what's fucking going on, and which programs are best and worst. One-time "program" announcements from "established" webmasters are allowed. |
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#1 |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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being in the adult biz, should marriage & kids be an option?
reason i ask this is because i cannot, for the life of me, get this one particular model out of my mind.
about 3 years ago, a friend of a friend went to shoot with a photographer i know (this girl is known so im not going to reveal her name). she brought her kid with her to the studio she was shooting at. her worry was that she didnt want her kid to see her doing faux penetration with toys. ok, whatever right. bad enough you brought your kid to your shoot but, ok you dont want your kid to see that so leave him in the office of the studio. personally, i think it's beyond stupid what she did in the first place but be that as it may. now here is what i cant forget, she walks into the office of the studio, where her kid is, completely naked and bends over with her ass in his face! you're saying what's the big deal right? her kid was 8 years old at the time and had a mouth on him of a 40 year old! no one has booked her since (at least i dont believe). now this woman/girl/model is still married but separated for 8-9 years and has a kid that she leaves with anyone she can at will or does the above. i ask you, if you are in the adult biz (in any arena from stripping to porn) should you get married and have kids or is that something that should be left for a later date when you can establish yourself in another biz not related to this one? |
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#2 |
ex-TeenGodFather
Industry Role:
Join Date: Nov 2001
Location: Suomi Finland Perkele
Posts: 20,306
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What does the adult biz have to do with that really? You can neglect your children in 1001 different ways. There are good parents, and then there's not.
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#3 | |
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Canada
Posts: 9,134
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#4 | |
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Join Date: Apr 2002
Location: Orlando, FL
Posts: 3,711
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#5 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
i would personally never have a child til i was done with this biz cause i would want to protect my child as much as possible and not tell my kid i work with they type of stuff i do. it is ok for me, alone but not when i bring someone else in the world (if i ever choose to). most would say not to tell what you do but that is a form of lying and if we teach kids not to lie, then we have to follow by example or we are hypocrites and that is something im not! |
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#6 | |
Live Hard - Die Hard
Join Date: Feb 2002
Location: Ready to leave...
Posts: 17,042
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#7 |
lol
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,969
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I've known pornstars who have done things such as leave their interracial boxcovers (as in with momma's picture on the front) lying around for their ten year old daughter to see. Mommy loves the cock.
Bad parenting is bad enough as it is, but adult models on that level with their kids shouldn't be parents. I was overseeing a live sex studio once, and this stripper whore ran inside with her 2 year old kid wanting to show him to everyone. I almost fucking strangled her. |
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#8 | |
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
Posts: 1,236
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Quote:
It's her own personal responsibility to protect her kids. Not yours, not the business.
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#9 |
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Location: Los Angeles, CA, USA
Posts: 1,737
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I'm married with 15 month old kids.
I don't plan to leave the business but the kids aren't going to know about it or see any porn. I'll always have some "legitimate" business in addition to porn and that's what I'll talk about at the dinner table.
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#10 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
and its not only that, i mean this person is married (legally at least) and neither one of them can take care of this child? granted this is not limited to this industry but there is such an openness in this biz that i cant understand...... |
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#11 | ||
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
Posts: 1,236
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Quote:
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You ever think there might be a reason for her doing porn? Single mother perhaps? Women have babies. Women work in porn. Unless you're going to be offering a Daddy Day Care service for women while they shoot your content i'm not sure what other option some of you have. You could also accept SOME of the responsibility since you are the one profiting from a business with such casual "work-at-home" attitudes. Next time you screen your models, ask them if they have made sufficient provisions to take care of their children during the shoot.
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#12 | |
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Location: NJ
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#13 | |
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Location: NJ
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#14 | |
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
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#15 | |
Orgasms N Such!
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 18,135
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Quote:
I have children, my children are not exposed to my work, when I shoot it is at a seperate venue with my children in proper childcare elsewhere (with family generally). They don't see my work, it has no bearing on what kind of mother I am to them, and the same with my husband. Unfortunately there are people in this industry who are idiot parents, but hey, the same can be said ANYWHERE in the world at any given time, it's not confined to the biz. I'm sorry seeing that experience may have affected your opinion in any way. It is possible to have the best of both worlds. ![]() |
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#16 |
Jägermeister Test Pilot
Industry Role:
Join Date: Dec 2001
Location: NORCAL
Posts: 74,022
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Why can't you be married in this business?
This is a business. Period. It's no different than being a fucking plumber. We are making a product and selling it on the Internet. It's no different than selling books or whatever. The problem is too many people get into this business thinking they will get to see naked chicks and get fucked. Have fun. Your dick will fall off soon, and you'll go broke. We have strict rules about models - Never, ever touch them. Ever. Solves a lot of problems before you start.
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#17 |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10,567
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I don't understand why so many people in the "biz" think they are not entitled to the same rewards as the rest of the society. I see this in the punk rock world too. If you want to get married, get married. But, no matter what you do for a living, you should keep in mind how that could effect your mate. If you are a management consultant and you have to spend months on site away from your spouse, you should probably talk beforehand about how you would handle that. Will your spouse quit his or her job and come with you? Will you just talk on the phone a lot while apart? Same with adult business. If you take pictures of naked people, it is probably best not to marry someone that will upset, whether or not you intend to continue doing it. If they have a problem with who you are now, do you really want to have to hide some secret shame forever? If you want to have kids, have kids. But take care of them. Like teengodfather said, adult actresses have no monopoly on doing a bad job of being parents. I've only had models bring kids to shoots on a few occasions. I either had an assistant take the kid some place off site and entertain them until we were done shooting or I cancelled the shoot.
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#18 |
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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im not sure how old your children LadyMisch. are but if they ask you what you do for a living (as we have all asked our parents when we were younger) will you tell them what you do? what would you do if say, your daughter (if you have a daughter) decided she wanted to do adult modeling? it's not like you could honestly say no you cant do that cause of the biz you're in so what do you say?
i mean this is a really tough topic and even tougher decision for most to make! |
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#19 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.thefly.net/ --- Quit your job and live off steady traffic.
Posts: 11,856
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U worry too much -- typical woman.
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#20 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10,567
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Quote:
If you think it is wrong for a girl to be an adult model, then you should not profit off of something you think is wrong.
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#21 | |
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Location: NJ
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#22 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
i am curious what others think. period. |
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#23 | |
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
Posts: 1,236
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#24 | |
Orgasms N Such!
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
Posts: 18,135
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Quote:
There is no tough decision. I love my work. I love my children. My children come first, but in order to feed them, I must work. My work now enables me to be at home with my kids most of the time, and work mostly when they go to bed. When they are at school (my older child is currently) I will have more free time etc, but they aren't exposed to it, and that's what matters most, isn't it? My work is not a definition of me, it does not dictate my parenting skills.. it's certainly better than sticking my kids in daycare and slaving at McDonalds for $5.00 an hour. It's not the EASIEST solution for everyone, but I've made my choice ![]() |
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#25 | |
Nice Kitty
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Location: The good old USA!!!
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#26 | |
Orgasms N Such!
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#27 | |
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Quote:
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#28 |
So Fucking Banned
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: http://www.thefly.net/ --- Quit your job and live off steady traffic.
Posts: 11,856
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My kids drink beer
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#29 | |
lol
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Join Date: Jan 2002
Posts: 15,969
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Quote:
I've known lots of bad parents that don't even work in the adult industry. But that is beside the fact. And since I have to go there, the stripper whore I mentioned happened to be married and even owned her own home. She brought the kid into a fucking porn studio, more specifically a control room with about 10 monitors with live images of people fucking. I don't care how young a kid is, its wrong to do such a thing. Its trashy, and fucking stupid. And most of all its fucking illegal. And I don't have anything to do with that part of this industry any longer. That was years ago and I was an employee for a large adult company. I don't fucking accept any responsibility or whatever it is you are trying to say. However at that moment it was my ass on the line as an employee because this stupid bitch was too dumb to ask people to come out to the car if they want to see her kid. There were signs on the door about must be 18 to enter. I don't think its wrong to be in this industry and have kids. Its just wrong to expose them to it. |
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#30 | |
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Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
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Quote:
him giving advice to women is like panning for gold in the Hudson river...IT AINT RIGHT!
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#31 | |
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#32 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10,567
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Quote:
Your post said you couldn't honestly say no to your daughter if she wanted to be an adult model. I think that, knowing the business, you could tell your daughter the possible pros and cons of doing it and of various career moves i.e. contract performer vs. freelance and so forth. Being an adult model might be a bad choice for someone and a good parent should certainly try to steer their kid in the direction best for that specific kid. The implication I got from your post was that of course no was the right answer to a girl who wanted to model, but that you might feel hypocritical saying that while profiting from it. If that is not what you meant, then I apologize. I just don't think we should feel bad about what we do. If someone in any nook or cranny of the industry is doing something genuinely scummy, then they should stop. But I don't think that having a business related to sexuality in any way intrinsically means that you are not supposed to get married or have kids or tell anyone what you do or be proud of what you do.
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#33 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
you are right, staying home with your children as much as possible is very important and this does beat the 5/hr job. i am so for protecting children. i was a big sister at one time (then they closed the program down because of lack of funding) and i would love to one day put up a self financed shelter/home for homeless children. i am just getting different opinions thats all. |
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#34 | |
WW4L
Join Date: Oct 2002
Location: over the river and through the woods
Posts: 10,581
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Quote:
my kids are now 18,17,13,6...if you try to lie and hide.they will find out. (the nosey ones anyhows)..if you flat out tell them its adult business and none of their own..then its pretty cut and dry... my children dont know to what extent.. but they are aware.. i think ignorant shielded children are far more likely to get in trouble when set free in the world than ones that grew up aware. I'm in no way implying that you expose your children to porn.. but they should have thier questions answered honestly. |
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#35 | |
Orgasms N Such!
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Location: Oakville, Ontario
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#36 | |
Nice Kitty
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: The good old USA!!!
Posts: 21,053
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Quote:
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#37 |
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Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Closer than you think
Posts: 9,535
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This is a very typical thread regarding moralistic issues. Take 1 anecdotal incident, infer a general rule advocating one's moral biases from it.
All I can say is that this incident has more to do with the type of mother the woman described was rather than a moral dillema faced by all people who work in adult.
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#38 | |
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Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
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#39 | |
Orgasms N Such!
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Join Date: Sep 2002
Location: Oakville, Ontario
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#40 |
HAL 9000
Industry Role:
Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 34,515
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babysoul handles all my trades, 6y.old and he is already a UCJ guru. Now we are waiting for ccbill to approve his 1st paysite (hentai niche). I'm a very happy father
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#41 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10,567
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Quote:
Allow me to rephrase: Your post postulated that you couldn't honestly say no to a hypothetical daughter if she wanted to be an adult model. I think that, knowing the business, you could tell your hypothetical daughter the possible pros and cons of doing it and of various career moves i.e. contract performer vs. freelance and so forth. Being an adult model might be a bad choice for someone and a good parent should certainly try to steer their kid in the direction best for that specific kid. The implication I got from your post was that of course no was the right answer to a girl who wanted to model, but that you might feel hypocritical saying that to your hypothetical offspring while hypothetically profiting from it. If that is not what you meant, then I apologize. I just don't think we should feel bad about what we do. If someone in any nook or cranny of the industry is doing something genuinely scummy, then they should stop. But I don't think that having a business related to sexuality in any way intrinsically means that you are not supposed to get married or have kids or tell anyone what you do or be proud of what you do. Your first post did not state that mothers should tell their daughters not to model, but I felt it was implied in your later post. If that is not what you meant, I apologize.
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#42 |
When it rains, it pours
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Join Date: May 2003
Posts: 20,609
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being married is a serious proffession, you work FUll-time.
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#43 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Closer than you think
Posts: 9,535
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#44 | |
bitchslapping zebras!!!!!
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: In a shack by the beach
Posts: 16,015
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Quote:
Parents lie to their children all the time, regardless of the industry they are in. And before you start telling me they don't, let's think about Santa Claus, the Easter Bunny, the Tooth Fairy... As a good parent you shield your children from things they do not have the capacity to understand. Therefore you would not treat your 15 year old the same way you would treat your 5 year old. Being a steady and reliable parent to your child has nothing to do with the business you are in at all. |
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#45 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
the world is a funny place...... ![]() |
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#46 | |
Too lazy to set a custom title
Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: Los Angeles
Posts: 10,567
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Quote:
Hey theking, remember the sympathetic stuff I posted to you the other day. I take it back. I don't care how bad a week you are having, there is no excuse for saying that everyone on this board's children should be ashamed of them. What do you do in the business anyway? What I do is not low at all, but maybe what you do is totally disgusting.
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#47 | |
HAL 9000
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Join Date: May 2001
Posts: 34,515
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Quote:
me and my son admire your kids ![]() |
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#48 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: May 2003
Location: streetz
Posts: 1,236
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Quote:
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#49 | |
Confirmed User
Join Date: Mar 2003
Location: NJ
Posts: 3,139
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Quote:
do as i say, not as i do does not hold weight with children these days cause they are far smarter then we were growing up! you can reference mtv any day ![]() shield a child yes....i agree 110%. lie to them or put them in a compromising situation (for lack of better wording), i dont agree with. hence, me not being married or having kids (not that one necessarily goes with the other). |
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#50 | |
Too old to care
Industry Role:
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: On the sofa, watching TV or doing my jigsaws.
Posts: 52,943
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Quote:
It makes no diference dating a model than dating a girl you work with is a factory. You're talking about forcing or coercing, there are other ways to get girls. But back to the point. So models are stupid enough to turn up with a kid fine, they could lose the kid to welfare. Not our problem. Models are not generally known to be the sharpest tools in the box. And that kind of person is hardly fit to be called a mother. But what the fuck is the shooter doing working with a kid on the premises? The whole thing sounds too stupid to believe. A PORNO PHOTOGRAPHER WORKS WITH A MINOR ON THE PREMISES????? Can't believe it. |
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