Hamsters - GoFuckYourself.com

polish_aristocrat · 06-02-2003, 03:41 PM

how many do you have ?

AaronM · 06-02-2003, 03:42 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat
how many do you have ?

3...But they are FUCKING HUGE!!!!

Why · 06-02-2003, 03:43 PM

arent hamsters illegal in california??

polish_aristocrat · 06-02-2003, 03:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by AaronM

3...But they are FUCKING HUGE!!!!

this was actually to Lensman or Eric

Exosist · 06-02-2003, 03:46 PM

my hamster died 2 weeks ago

Cindyff · 06-02-2003, 03:48 PM

Their Hampsters live on the same servers as Ibills !!!

Cindy xx

gothweb · 06-02-2003, 03:50 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Why
arent hamsters illegal in california??

You're thinking of gerbils.

FuqALot · 06-02-2003, 03:53 PM

damn yo what's up with this hamster post
ain't you all got somethin better to boast
dum diddy dum while i'm having this fun
number one with a bullet and a gun

ztik · 06-02-2003, 03:55 PM

AaronM · 06-02-2003, 03:57 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by polish_aristocrat

this was actually to Lensman or Eric

I don't give a fuck. What makes the two of them so damn special? You are aware that there are other people at Adult.com other than those 2 right?

Ask Mike or JT about the hamsters if you want the best answer.

DarkBob · 06-02-2003, 04:00 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Exosist
my hamster died 2 weeks ago

Cindyff · 06-02-2003, 04:01 PM

If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!

I had to take my son's hamster to the vet.

Here's what happened:

Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room.

"He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?"

I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom.
One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do.

"Honey", I called, "come look at the hamster!"

"Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies."

"What?" my son demanded.

"But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!"

I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife.

"Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!)

"No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together).

"Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed.

"Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?)

By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth."

"OH, Gross!" they shrieked.

"Well, isn't THAT just Great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too, don't you?)

We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted.

"Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified.

"Do something, Dad!" my son urged.

"Okay, okay."

Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results.

"Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?)

"Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly.

We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.)

The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically.

"Oh, very interesting," he murmured.

"Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside.

"Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked.

"Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back."

He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron."

We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just...Excited," my wife offered.

"Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood.

More silence.

Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly.

"What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my FLAWLESS manliness.

Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more.

"That's enough," I warned.

We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car.

He was glad everything was going to be okay.

"I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me.

"Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter.

2 Hamsters ..... $10
1 Cage ..... $20
1 Trip to the Vet .... $30

Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's wacker. ....Priceless...

volante · 06-02-2003, 04:08 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cindyff
If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD!
.
.
.

The tears are still flowing at the thought of you and the hamster...

polish_aristocrat · 06-02-2003, 04:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cindyff
2 Hamsters ..... $10
1 Cage ..... $20
1 Trip to the Vet .... $30

Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's wacker. ....Priceless...

volante · 06-02-2003, 04:12 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gothweb

You're thinking of gerbils.

From the American Gerbil Society website:

"The AGS had decided to allow membership of citizens of the sate of California. However, their membership shall be limited in that they cannot register gerbils or place listings as a breeder. Why? Because gerbils are illegal in California, and the AGS cannot promote illegal activities. Here are the relevant portions of the law that prohibits them:

It is unlawful to import, transport, possess, or release alive into this sate, except under a revocable, nontransferable permit as provided in this chapter and the regulations pertaining thereto, any wild animal of the following species:

-snip-

(b) Class Mammalia Order Rodentia (rodents) All species, except domesticated golden hamsters, also known as Syrian hamster, Mesocrietus auratus; domesticated races of rats or mice (white or albino; trained, dancing or spinning, laboratory-reared); and domestic strains of guinea pig (Cavia porcellus).

-snip-

(k) Classes, families, genera, and species in addition to those listed in this section may be added to or deleted from the above lists from time to time by commission regulations in cooperation with the Department of Food and Agriculture."

Due to potential legal ramifications the AGS must actively discourage the keeping of gerbils illegally in the state of California. We will not knowingly allow a citizen of CA to register gerbils with our organization, but they may be a member and receive newsletters, etc."

Dancing mice?

harvey · 06-02-2003, 05:04 PM

NBDesign · 06-02-2003, 05:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by gothweb

You're thinking of gerbils.

loverboy · 06-02-2003, 05:05 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by harvey

lol

markell · 06-02-2003, 05:11 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Cindyff

2 Hamsters ..... $10
1 Cage ..... $20
1 Trip to the Vet .... $30

Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's wacker. ....Priceless...

TheViper · 06-02-2003, 05:53 PM

Now we're on it, why don't we just do the http://www.hamsterdance.com

Libertine · 06-02-2003, 05:58 PM

My housemate had 2 hamsters. Until the day when one ate the other, that is.

Rictor · 06-02-2003, 06:07 PM

Guinea pigs are cooler.

06-02-2003, 03:41 PM	#1
polish_aristocrat Too lazy to set a custom title Join Date: Jul 2002 Posts: 40,377	Hamsters how many do you have ? __________________ I don't use ICQ anymore.

06-02-2003, 05:04 PM	#16
harvey Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: 127.0.0.1 Posts: 9,266	__________________ This post is endorsed by CIA, KGB, MI6, the Mafia, Illuminati, Kim Jong Il, Worldwide Ninjas Association, Klingon Empire and lolcats. Don't mess around with it, just accept it and embrace the truth

06-02-2003, 05:58 PM	#21
Libertine sex dwarf Join Date: May 2002 Posts: 17,860	My housemate had 2 hamsters. Until the day when one ate the other, that is. __________________ /(bb\|[^b]{2})/

06-02-2003, 03:43 PM	#3
Why MFBA Industry Role: Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: PNW Posts: 7,230	arent hamsters illegal in california??

06-02-2003, 03:46 PM	#5
Exosist Confirmed User Join Date: May 2003 Posts: 141	my hamster died 2 weeks ago

06-02-2003, 03:48 PM	#6
Cindyff Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: California Posts: 1,187	Their Hampsters live on the same servers as Ibills !!! Cindy xx

06-02-2003, 03:53 PM	#8
FuqALot Confirmed User Join Date: Dec 2001 Location: Malibu Posts: 3,817	damn yo what's up with this hamster post ain't you all got somethin better to boast dum diddy dum while i'm having this fun number one with a bullet and a gun

06-02-2003, 03:55 PM	#9
ztik Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Nomad Posts: 5,196

06-02-2003, 04:01 PM	#12
Cindyff Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: California Posts: 1,187	If you have raised kids (or been one), and gone through the pet syndrome including toilet-flush burials for dead goldfish, the story below will have you laughing out LOUD! I had to take my son's hamster to the vet. Here's what happened: Just after dinner one night, my son came up to tell me there was "something wrong" with one of the two hamsters he holds prisoner in his room. "He's just lying there looking sick," he told me. "I'm serious, Dad. Can you help?" I put my best hamster-healer statement on my face and followed him into his bedroom. One of the little rodents was indeed lying on his back, looking stressed. I immediately knew what to do. "Honey", I called, "come look at the hamster!" "Oh my gosh," my wife diagnosed after a minute. "She's having babies." "What?" my son demanded. "But their names are Bert and Ernie, Mom!" I was equally outraged. "Hey, how can that be? I thought we said we didn't want them to reproduce," I accused my wife. "Well, what do you want me to do, post a sign in their cage?" she inquired. (I actually think she said this sarcastically!) "No, but you were supposed to get two boys!" I reminded her, (in my most loving, calm, sweet voice, while gritting my teeth together). "Yeah, Bert and Ernie!" my son agreed. "Well, it's just a little hard to tell on some guys, you know," she informed me. (Again with the sarcasm, you think?) By now the rest of the family had gathered to see what was going on. I shrugged, deciding to make the best of it. "Kids, this is going to be a wondrous experience, I announced. "We're about to witness the miracle of birth." "OH, Gross!" they shrieked. "Well, isn't THAT just Great! What are we going to do with a litter of tiny little hamster babies?" my wife wanted to know. (I really do think she was being snotty here, too, don't you?) We peered at the patient. After much struggling, what looked like a tiny foot would appear briefly, vanishing a scant second later. "We don't appear to be making much progress," I noted. "Its breech," my wife whispered, horrified. "Do something, Dad!" my son urged. "Okay, okay." Squeamishly, I reached in and grabbed the foot when it next appeared, giving it a gingerly tug. It disappeared. I tried several more times with the same results. "Should I call 911?" my eldest daughter wanted to know. "Maybe they could talk us through the trauma." (You see a pattern here with the females in my house?) "Let's get Ernie to the vet," I said grimly. We drove to the vet with my son holding the cage in his lap. Breathe, Ernie, breathe," he urged. "I don't think hamsters do Lamaze," his mother noted to him. (Women can be so cruel to their own young. I mean what she does to me is one thing, but this boy is of her womb, for God's sake.) The vet took Ernie back to the examining room and peered at the little animal through a magnifying glass. "What do you think, Doc, a c-section?" I suggested scientifically. "Oh, very interesting," he murmured. "Mr. and Mrs. Cameron, may I speak to you privately for a moment?" I gulped, nodding for my son to step outside. "Is Ernie going to be okay?" my wife asked. "Oh, perfectly," the vet assured us. "This hamster is not in labor. In fact, that isn't EVER going to happen... Ernie is a boy. You see, Ernie is a young male. And occasionally, as they come into maturity, like most male species, they um....um....masturbate. Just the way he did, lying on his back." He blushed, glancing at my wife. "Well, you know what I'm saying, Mr. Cameron." We were silent, absorbing this. "So Ernie's just...just...Excited," my wife offered. "Exactly," the vet replied, relieved that we understood. More silence. Then my vicious, cruel wife started to giggle. And giggle. And then even laugh loudly. "What's so funny?" I demanded, knowing, but not believing that the woman I married would commit the upcoming affront to my FLAWLESS manliness. Tears were now running down her face. "It's just...that...I'm picturing you pulling on its... its...teeny little..." she gasped for more air to bellow in laughter once more. "That's enough," I warned. We thanked the Veterinarian and hurriedly bundled the hamsters and our son back into the car. He was glad everything was going to be okay. "I know Ernie's really thankful for what you've done, Dad," he told me. "Oh, you have NO idea," my wife agreed, collapsing with laughter. 2 Hamsters ..... $10 1 Cage ..... $20 1 Trip to the Vet .... $30 Memory of your husband pulling on a hamster's wacker. ....Priceless...

06-02-2003, 05:53 PM	#20
TheViper Confirmed User Join Date: Mar 2003 Location: the streets. Posts: 2,560	Now we're on it, why don't we just do the http://www.hamsterdance.com

06-02-2003, 06:07 PM	#22
Rictor Old Timer Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Indianapolis Posts: 12,208	Guinea pigs are cooler.