Oh God please deliver me peace from this loud lady

[blackmonsters]

Da fuck. It never fails. Every weekend this lady next door comes outside and yells into
her phone for 3 hours.
I'm just glad she yells in Spanish so that I don't know what she's saying.
It sounds like she is having a one way argument; because I don't know how the other person can get in a word.
I never have a quiet weekend and sometimes she does it during the week also.
I'm starting to be glad that I have congested heart failure and stage 3 kidney failure.
This will shorten my prison term in neighbor hell.
And then they leave the female dog out to bark for an hour.
If it ain't one bitch it's another.

The house was empty for 15 years before they moved in.
The previous family fought over the house and one of them got a government loan on the house which tied it up in government red tape.
I got spoiled by 15 years of quiet living.

I'm so considering selling the house and living in a van.
When I lived in a van before, I felt so cozy in it and I could just crank up and move if
I didn't like something.
But now cities are making it illegal to live in a van.
So if I keep the house and just leave on the weekend, I can still get rousted by cops for
sleeping in the van.

Oh well, thanks for listening to my fantasies.
I got a bottle of bourbon and will pass out and get some rest and forget about it.

[NALEM]

Option 1: be neighborly, introduce yourself, explain the situation and see what plays out.

Option 2: turn a speaker facing the direction that she parks herself typically for those three hours, crank up the volume loud enough on your favorite music to affect her ability to have lengthy conversation.

I had neighbors that partied twice a month, weekdays well into the morning hours. They didn't respond well to option 1. So I successfully reverted to option 2.

For me it wasn't music. I found the call for prayer by Muslims, and just as those fuckers were falling asleep, I cranked up the volume and took off for several hours running errands.

Had to do it twice before they figured out that every time they party overnight, that morning they would not be resting.

[mikeet]

a bottle of bourbon sounds good right now.

[TheLegacy]

Why not start watching a spanish porn movie and put your speakers near the window when she comes out or sit outside on a lawn chair in your underwear with a large strap on attached

[CaptainHowdy]

I feel for you. Living with other people is hell . . .

[AmeliaG]

I will never understand people who make crazy noise when they have neighbors close by. I would just never do that.

FWIW the bark boxes on Amazon can be helpful for training your neighbor's dog if they will not. The bark triggers a noise the dog does not like but which does not harm it. Dogs are smart and trainable and yappy ones do it because their owners are into yappiness.

Pretty sure the bourbon is not doctor recommended with renal failure but yolo.

Hope you get some peace and quiet.

[VikingMan]

Invite me over. I will eat bowls of oatmeal with my shirt off and stare into space. She won’t be coming back outside.
The last time I had annoying neighbors my daughter made an impromptu chicken outfit for me and I proceeded to peck around my front yard while clucking. I really did this. It solved lots of problems.

[blackmonsters]

Originally Posted by NALEM

Option 1: be neighborly, introduce yourself, explain the situation and see what plays out.

Option 2: turn a speaker facing the direction that she parks herself typically for those three hours, crank up the volume loud enough on your favorite music to affect her ability to have lengthy conversation.

I had neighbors that partied twice a month, weekdays well into the morning hours. They didn't respond well to option 1. So I successfully reverted to option 2.

For me it wasn't music. I found the call for prayer by Muslims, and just as those fuckers were falling asleep, I cranked up the volume and took off for several hours running errands.

Had to do it twice before they figured out that every time they party overnight, that morning they would not be resting.

I tried some of that; they are slow learners, like a hard to train dog.

Originally Posted by mikeet

a bottle of bourbon sounds good right now.

It was. I just woke up and forgot to eat dinner.

Originally Posted by TheLegacy

Why not start watching a spanish porn movie and put your speakers near the window when she comes out or sit outside on a lawn chair in your underwear with a large strap on attached

They have a little girl so I don't want to do that; but I've cranked up a sports game before.

Originally Posted by AmeliaG

I will never understand people who make crazy noise when they have neighbors close by. I would just never do that.

FWIW the bark boxes on Amazon can be helpful for training your neighbor's dog if they will not. The bark triggers a noise the dog does not like but which does not harm it. Dogs are smart and trainable and yappy ones do it because their owners are into yappiness.

Pretty sure the bourbon is not doctor recommended with renal failure but yolo.

Hope you get some peace and quiet.

Interesting that they've told me my kidneys have improved though.

Originally Posted by VikingMan

Invite me over. I will eat bowls of oatmeal with my shirt off and stare into space. She won’t be coming back outside.
The last time I had annoying neighbors my daughter made an impromptu chicken outfit for me and I proceeded to peck around my front yard while clucking. I really did this. It solved lots of problems.

[CurrentlySober]

When she starts up, wander over to her, mumbling to yourself incoherently and proceed to shit yourself.

Smile as you do so, drool from your mouth, and maintain eye contact as you perform the act, & then remain close enough for her to smell it...

The only way to get away from you will be to curtail the phone call, or to continue it elsewhere...

Simply repeat & do the same every time she comes outside to make the call - She will soon stop... That's one of the great things about poo - It transcends any language barriers, and speaks for itself.

[INever]

live in hotels or van on the weekends? also....earplugs. loud ambient music. a loud fan.

[2MuchMark]

Originally Posted by VikingMan

Invite me over. I will eat bowls of oatmeal with my shirt off and stare into space. She won’t be coming back outside.
The last time I had annoying neighbors my daughter made an impromptu chicken outfit for me and I proceeded to peck around my front yard while clucking. I really did this. It solved lots of problems.

Best answer ever.

[2MuchMark]

Originally Posted by CurrentlySober

When she starts up, wander over to her, mumbling to yourself incoherently and proceed to shit yourself.

Smile as you do so, drool from your mouth, and maintain eye contact as you perform the act, & then remain close enough for her to smell it...

The only way to get away from you will be to curtail the phone call, or to continue it elsewhere...

Simply repeat & do the same every time she comes outside to make the call - She will soon stop... That's one of the great things about poo - It transcends any language barriers, and speaks for itself.

Were you masturbating when you wrote that?

(Not kink-shaming you, just.. wondering... for a friend... ..)

[RyuLion]

They "don't think outside the box".
When I have visitors, I always have to tell them to come inside or the otherside of the house to talk.

[RyuLion]

Not even posted signs help, I have to grab thier other hand and walk them to the other side of the yard!