GFY parenting 101 (revisited) - GoFuckYourself.com

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:00 PM

Your son is graduating. You want him to go to college. He wants to do something else that isn't in his best interests. What do you do?

Insist he goes to college even though he doesn't want to?

Or let him decide for himself and do what he wants.

washiez · 05-27-2003, 11:03 PM

Let him decide for himself.

kristydoll · 05-27-2003, 11:04 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by washiez
Let him decide for himself.

I agree.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:06 PM

Even though what he wants to do is a bad decision?

kristydoll · 05-27-2003, 11:07 PM

Yes...bad decisions are a way of learning...even if the consequences are tough.

Tala · 05-27-2003, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Even though what he wants to do is a bad decision?

Yep. At that age, is he really going to listen to parents, or is he going to do what he wants anyway? Let him learn from his own mistakes.

washiez · 05-27-2003, 11:09 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Even though what he wants to do is a bad decision?

Why is it such a bad decision? Wouldn't it be a worse decision if he went to college, got drunk and stoned all day and failed all his classes.. wasting your money... and making himself look bad for future schools.

Let him find himself first.. whats he wanna do? Does he have any interests.. maybe he needs to work first.. or just get some shit out of his system first... if that makes any sense.

Bake · 05-27-2003, 11:11 PM

If he dosent want to go it means you fucked uped as parents so let the little selfish prick fend for himself.

nemesis · 05-27-2003, 11:13 PM

Buy him a pass to collegefuckfest, he will want to go after seeing those videos.

titmowse · 05-27-2003, 11:13 PM

i don't envy ya. mine wants to go to college but she wants to go out of state. aaaack!

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:13 PM

I was sort of hoping the favorite choice would be to push him to college. It's not that I don't want him to do what he wants.... I just don't want him to make dumb choices that could affect him for a long time and end up regretting them later on.

But I can see where you're coming from.... my parents tried to push me in certain directions (many moons ago) and I went the opposite out of sheer spite. I know now that they were bad decisions, but you couldn't have convinced me at the time.

fuck.

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:15 PM

If you force him to go, he may goof off the whole time and not bother with classes.. waste a semester or a year of someone's money and be no better for it. But do sit down when him and discuss the cold hard facts. To live comfortably in the real world and be competitive in the job market and in life itself, something beyond a high school diploma is necessary. Whether it be voc school, a 2 year college or a 4 year college, or some other training.

I'm faced with an 18 (almost 19 year old) graduating in 3 weeks. He has no real clue what he wants to do. He has some ideas, but because of his ADHD diagnosis, the school system has pushed him through even though he can barely read at a 6th grade level. I've battled with the school districts for years and get "no one left behind" slapped in my face. More like an excuse to not work harder to find ways to teach him properly. I just recently came across a new school psychologist who feels that his poor reading, writing and spelling may be due to an occular muscle problem that has never been diagnosed. So in the next few months he has to have some testing done. If it is an occular problem, then I have the school district by the balls. They have a new language program going in at a brand new high school next year. This psych recommended I demand he be allowed in it even though he'll have a diploma. When I told my son, he whined, but he realizes that it's just one class at a school where no one knows him, so they'd have no clue about him.

Beyond that he's shown interest in going to a culinary school, selling jewelry, or working with kids (and NO he's not gay).

Gutterboy · 05-27-2003, 11:16 PM

I'd send him to Master Taino for some discipline.

http://www.mastertaino.com/join_the_family.htm

FATPad · 05-27-2003, 11:17 PM

Would it be better for him to sit in classes all day he hates, failing everything because he doesn't want to be there, or would it be better for him to go do his own thing for a while til he realizes that real life is a bitch and school is not only easier but would help him in the long run?

Taking a couple of years off then going back with a renewed desire isn't a bad thing, especially if you really don't want to go right after you graduate high school.

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:18 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
I was sort of hoping the favorite choice would be to push him to college. It's not that I don't want him to do what he wants.... I just don't want him to make dumb choices that could affect him for a long time and end up regretting them later on.

But I can see where you're coming from.... my parents tried to push me in certain directions (many moons ago) and I went the opposite out of sheer spite. I know now that they were bad decisions, but you couldn't have convinced me at the time.

fuck.

Make a bet with him. Give him a year to find a job that could sustain him for his life with an income potential that he might see with a college degree. If he can, fine. If you're the one who would have paid for his college, you forfeit one year's college expense to him ... if he doesn't then he has to seriously look at more schooling of some sort.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:20 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
If you force him to go, he may goof off the whole time and not bother with classes.. waste a semester or a year of someone's money and be no better for it. But do sit down when him and discuss the cold hard facts. To live comfortably in the real world and be competitive in the job market and in life itself, something beyond a high school diploma is necessary. Whether it be voc school, a 2 year college or a 4 year college, or some other training.

I'm faced with an 18 (almost 19 year old) graduating in 3 weeks. He has no real clue what he wants to do. He has some ideas, but because of his ADHD diagnosis, the school system has pushed him through even though he can barely read at a 6th grade level. I've battled with the school districts for years and get "no one left behind" slapped in my face. More like an excuse to not work harder to find ways to teach him properly. I just recently came across a new school psychologist who feels that his poor reading, writing and spelling may be due to an occular muscle problem that has never been diagnosed. So in the next few months he has to have some testing done. If it is an occular problem, then I have the school district by the balls. They have a new language program going in at a brand new high school next year. This psych recommended I demand he be allowed in it even though he'll have a diploma. When I told my son, he whined, but he realizes that it's just one class at a school where no one knows him, so they'd have no clue about him.

Beyond that he's shown interest in going to a culinary school, selling jewelry, or working with kids (and NO he's not gay).

damn.... that's rough PK. I hope it all works out for him. Culinary school would be good.

I guess I'm thinking, alot of kids are dumb when it comes to this shit. 18 - 19 year old kids aren't exactly the best decision makers in the world. I sure as hell wasn't. Is it really wrong (as the parent) to lay down the law, so to speak, and tell them what they need to do in order to not be a fuckup? Or is the risk of them turning on you (because of that) too much?

michaelw · 05-27-2003, 11:23 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Bake
If he dosent want to go it means you fucked uped as parents so let the little selfish prick fend for himself.

exactly

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:24 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty

Make a bet with him. Give him a year to find a job that could sustain him for his life with an income potential that he might see with a college degree. If he can, fine. If you're the one who would have paid for his college, you forfeit one year's college expense to him ... if he doesn't then he has to seriously look at more schooling of some sort.

that sounds good, but I don't want it to end up seeming like I rubbed his nose in it or tried to make a fool out of him.... I'm not exactly the most tactful guy.... hehehe

kelly · 05-27-2003, 11:26 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty
If you force him to go, he may goof off the whole time and not bother with classes.. waste a semester or a year of someone's money and be no better for it. But do sit down when him and discuss the cold hard facts. To live comfortably in the real world and be competitive in the job market and in life itself, something beyond a high school diploma is necessary. Whether it be voc school, a 2 year college or a 4 year college, or some other training.

I'm faced with an 18 (almost 19 year old) graduating in 3 weeks. He has no real clue what he wants to do. He has some ideas, but because of his ADHD diagnosis, the school system has pushed him through even though he can barely read at a 6th grade level. I've battled with the school districts for years and get "no one left behind" slapped in my face. More like an excuse to not work harder to find ways to teach him properly. I just recently came across a new school psychologist who feels that his poor reading, writing and spelling may be due to an occular muscle problem that has never been diagnosed. So in the next few months he has to have some testing done. If it is an occular problem, then I have the school district by the balls. They have a new language program going in at a brand new high school next year. This psych recommended I demand he be allowed in it even though he'll have a diploma. When I told my son, he whined, but he realizes that it's just one class at a school where no one knows him, so they'd have no clue about him.

Beyond that he's shown interest in going to a culinary school, selling jewelry, or working with kids (and NO he's not gay).

If he trains at a culinary school he'll always be able to get work, also a good background for if he'd like to work his way around a continent some time in the future

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:27 PM

The hard part is, I swear he changes his mind three times a week.... it's hard to keep up with what he thinks he wants to do.

Gutterboy · 05-27-2003, 11:30 PM

Its not an either/or situation. You can do your lay down the law thing.. well sort of.. and tell him exactly what you think, and still let him make his own decision.

kristydoll · 05-27-2003, 11:31 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
I guess I'm thinking, alot of kids are dumb when it comes to this shit. 18 - 19 year old kids aren't exactly the best decision makers in the world. I sure as hell wasn't. Is it really wrong (as the parent) to lay down the law, so to speak, and tell them what they need to do in order to not be a fuckup? Or is the risk of them turning on you (because of that) too much?

You said it yourself before....if you force them to go one way, they usually go the other just to spite you and to have a feeling of independence.

Don't push - and you probably don't have to worry - most kids find their way when they're ready.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gutterboy
Its not an either/or situation. You can do your lay down the law thing.. well sort of.. and tell him exactly what you think, and still let him make his own decision.

true....

good advice. I'll take it. (and cross my fingers)

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:32 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

damn.... that's rough PK. I hope it all works out for him. Culinary school would be good.

I guess I'm thinking, alot of kids are dumb when it comes to this shit. 18 - 19 year old kids aren't exactly the best decision makers in the world. I sure as hell wasn't. Is it really wrong (as the parent) to lay down the law, so to speak, and tell them what they need to do in order to not be a fuckup? Or is the risk of them turning on you (because of that) too much?

It's a tough call. Is he living at home, dependent on others? Does he have any concrete plans of his own or does he think the gravy train never stops?

Honestly, if he has a job now or is getting one, etc.... Give him a deadline... tell him by XX date he's living on his own under his own means or he does it your way.

I guess I was 'the good kid'.. I knew all my teen years that I was going to college and what I was going to do.. but then I was also a straight A student who never had to crack a book to study so more schooling didn't seem like a waste of time.

Some of my son's friends have told him that their parents are giving them until September and then booting them out the door. I couldn't ever do that to a kid as long as they were making an effort, working, paying me some rent, etc. More than 65% of my son's graduating class is going on to some sort of continued education. I wonder what the parents of the other 35% are doing about now.

Bake · 05-27-2003, 11:36 PM

Amp if your really serious make a deal with him 2 weeks of his life your way and then you will leave it up to him. Go out and rent a nice motel room give him plenty of cash to spend like a lot say 1k, Then after that week is up, rent a sleazy room on the wrong side of town and give him 100$ to spend for week. And make him stick it out change the locks on your house if you have to. This may cost you a bit and hopefully the lesson will be learnt. If he doesn?t learn from this maybe college isn?t the answer.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:37 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty

It's a tough call. Is he living at home, dependent on others? Does he have any concrete plans of his own or does he think the gravy train never stops?

Honestly, if he has a job now or is getting one, etc.... Give him a deadline... tell him by XX date he's living on his own under his own means or he does it your way.

I guess I was 'the good kid'.. I knew all my teen years that I was going to college and what I was going to do.. but then I was also a straight A student who never had to crack a book to study so more schooling didn't seem like a waste of time.

Some of my son's friends have told him that their parents are giving them until September and then booting them out the door. I couldn't ever do that to a kid as long as they were making an effort, working, paying me some rent, etc. More than 65% of my son's graduating class is going on to some sort of continued education. I wonder what the parents of the other 35% are doing about now.

nah, he's really a very smart kid. He actually finished school way ahead of his class, but they won't officially "graduate" him until the rest of the class does. He's been done for a while now though, and basically just been waiting.
He's running his own shop.... has been for a while. He's got the brains to do anything he wants.... I just feel he's using it inappropriately. He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues.

And I gotta respect that I guess.... I just don't want to see him struggle when he doesn't have to.

kristydoll · 05-27-2003, 11:41 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

nah, he's really a very smart kid. He actually finished school way ahead of his class, but they won't officially "graduate" him until the rest of the class does. He's been done for a while now though, and basically just been waiting.
He's running his own shop.... has been for a while. He's got the brains to do anything he wants.... I just feel he's using it inappropriately. He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues.

And I gotta respect that I guess.... I just don't want to see him struggle when he doesn't have to.

You said something that struck me here - "He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues."

Never take away their dreams.

He sounds like he's got a head on his shoulders and smarts. Let him go for awhile.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:44 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by kristydoll

You said something that struck me here - "He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues."

Never take away their dreams.

He sounds like he's got a head on his shoulders and smarts. Let him go for awhile.

exactly.... and that's why I'm sort of troubled by it all.... if he didn't have anything at all, and was just lost in a sea of confusion, I'd be hammering away the college angle.... but he does have something. It's just not the best of choices. But it is his. His interest, and something he wants to do.

I guess I should leave it to him. At least he's got SOME direction. That's more than I had at 18.

Peter Romero · 05-27-2003, 11:46 PM

Talk to him... and shock him by listening. Nobody likes to be told what to do. If you share your experiences with him and tell him what your results were and ask him to decide, he may surprise you - and at least his heart will be in it.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:47 PM

Damn.... 1 down, 2 more kids to go. I may not survive it.

kelly · 05-27-2003, 11:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

nah, he's really a very smart kid. He actually finished school way ahead of his class, but they won't officially "graduate" him until the rest of the class does. He's been done for a while now though, and basically just been waiting.
He's running his own shop.... has been for a while. He's got the brains to do anything he wants.... I just feel he's using it inappropriately. He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues.

And I gotta respect that I guess.... I just don't want to see him struggle when he doesn't have to.

If he's doing something he loves and is making enough to get by on maybe the best thing is to give him more time, he could always go back to school in year or two but there's nothing better than making money at something you love!

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

nah, he's really a very smart kid. He actually finished school way ahead of his class, but they won't officially "graduate" him until the rest of the class does. He's been done for a while now though, and basically just been waiting.
He's running his own shop.... has been for a while. He's got the brains to do anything he wants.... I just feel he's using it inappropriately. He's following a passion/interest/hobby instead of more lucrative avenues.

And I gotta respect that I guess.... I just don't want to see him struggle when he doesn't have to.

If he has a plan and it's working for him, bite your lip and let him at it. He may decide in the future that he needs more education to be successful in what he's doing...or he may just cruise on through and be lucky at it.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:48 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by POV Porn guy
Talk to him... and shock him by listening. Nobody likes to be told what to do. If you share your experiences with him and tell him what your results were and ask him to decide, he may surprise you - and at least his heart will be in it.

very true.... and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:49 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head
Damn.... 1 down, 2 more kids to go. I may not survive it.

haha.. be glad you don't have one that wants to "work with animals". His larger than normal bedroom is half-full of all sorts of creatures because I keep getting told not to stiffle him.

Amputate Your Head · 05-27-2003, 11:52 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by PersianKitty

haha.. be glad you don't have one that wants to "work with animals". His larger than normal bedroom is half-full of all sorts of creatures because I keep getting told not to stiffle him.

oh yeah.... I'm already there PK. My daughter is an animal nut. She's currently at 12 pets. (Down from 15 a few months ago.) Consisting of cats, dogs, birds, fish, turtles, frogs, hamsters, and more. She'd keep every critter she finds if she could.

aflex · 05-27-2003, 11:54 PM

PK: about selling jewelry.. im an apprentice to a master jeweler, learning the business and such (most likely going to G.I.A. this summer to pickup a diamond grading certificate) ... if you have any questions or concerns regarding your son and the jewelry business, feel free to drop me an email : aflex at comcast.net

aflex · 05-27-2003, 11:59 PM

hey amp,

about laying down the law and telling him to goto college.. i'd stay away from that, alot of people i goto school with are there just because their parents want them there.. they have no ambition to be taught in a system and it shows..

let him do what he feels is best, with no or less financial support.. eventually he'll see whats needed careerwise in the real world: solid skills / experience, ambition and street smarts, or degrees and certificates.. (in no particular order)

PersianKitty · 05-27-2003, 11:59 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

oh yeah.... I'm already there PK. My daughter is an animal nut. She's currently at 12 pets. (Down from 15 a few months ago.) Consisting of cats, dogs, birds, fish, turtles, frogs, hamsters, and more. She'd keep every critter she finds if she could.

As a teen at first I wanted to be a vet...that was until I volunteered one summer at a local clinic. I came home every night broken-hearted.

We of course have the cats (all 7 of them) and my african grey and the new puppy. He started with a bearded dragon.. now he has that, 2 guinea pigs, a hamster, a rabbit, a veiled chameleon, a ball python, 4 fire-bellied toads, finches, a canary, and a 45 gallon freshwater tank. (I have the 140gal salt and the 8000gal koi pond)

PersianKitty · 05-28-2003, 12:01 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by aflex
PK: about selling jewelry.. im an apprentice to a master jeweler, learning the business and such (most likely going to G.I.A. this summer to pickup a diamond grading certificate) ... if you have any questions or concerns regarding your son and the jewelry business, feel free to drop me an email : aflex at comcast.net

I'm a favorite customer at a local upscaled jewelry store. My oldest has talked to the manager who hires about possibly working there. He has a winning attitude, loves to dress nice, etc. Of course he'd have to learn from the bottom up.

Joe Sixpack · 05-28-2003, 12:09 AM

Let this be a lesson to you all: DO NOT BREED!

The most unhappy people I know are parents. Live life for yourself and live it well... only suckers have kids.

aflex · 05-28-2003, 12:09 AM

if he gets a chance at the store, have him grab it.. jewelery biz is built on trust and loyalty, and is pretty much invite only to get started (it sounds weird saying this)..

i'm coming from the business part of it.. not like a mall job, show one ring at a time, and hope they buy, type of job.

my store is local upscale too, D - G, VS and better baby

KRL · 05-28-2003, 12:11 AM

Let him decide for himself.

Peter Romero · 05-28-2003, 12:25 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Amputate Your Head

very true.... and that's exactly what I'm gonna do.

That's from the book "7 Habits of highly sucessful people" and what I wish my parents did. No offense to them, look how great I turned out!
I wanted to be a pro skateboarder & they wanted me to go to college. Of course I rebeled, I was 18... what did I know? Everything if you asked me, or any other 18 year old on the planet. Be supportive, and listen and guide. If my parents would have been supportive and said: "OK, so you gotta train for the next contest, you gotta write those letters to prospective sponsors, return phone calls, get sleep for the big halfpipe..." I would have just said, "no way man, I wanna Play" and they would have told me where the unemployment line started. Nuff said

PersianKitty · 05-28-2003, 01:11 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by aflex
if he gets a chance at the store, have him grab it.. jewelery biz is built on trust and loyalty, and is pretty much invite only to get started (it sounds weird saying this)..

i'm coming from the business part of it.. not like a mall job, show one ring at a time, and hope they buy, type of job.

my store is local upscale too, D - G, VS and better baby

My kinda store ;)

I wear what should have been two women's engagement solitaires for earrings. Those were fun to try to match. Course then when I had went for a diamond solitaire pendent it had to be better than the earrings and twice the size. I have some good tanzanite pieces too. Most of what I've bought recently is Eddie LeVian stuff. Highly collectable numbered pieces. Jewelry is the one thing I splurge on. I tease my kids that they have to bury it with me, but I also know that if it ever came to it I could sell off what I have an live comfortably for a while.

Ironhorse · 05-28-2003, 01:17 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Joe Sixpack
Live life for yourself and live it well... only suckers have kids.

Yeah, you wouldn't be here saying this shit if it wasn't for 2 suckers, ingrate.

Joe Sixpack · 05-28-2003, 01:27 AM

Quote:

Originally posted by Ironhorse

Yeah, you wouldn't be here saying this shit if it wasn't for 2 suckers, ingrate.

Hahahaha... true. My parents were conformists, like most people, who never questioned society's "rules" or authority in any way. I pity them.

I won't make the same mistake.

Oh, and fuck you.

Project-Shadow · 05-28-2003, 05:22 AM

Get him to make a porn site

gothweb · 05-28-2003, 05:36 AM

It should be obvious that making a child that age do anything, or pushing them to, will simply not work. They can make up their own minds, for better or for worse, at that point. I'm sure we all did.

What you can do is try to convince him why getting an education is a good thing. Its a great formative experience, and you can't re-live it the same after you are 18-19... It also means having an education that gives you broad skills you can apply everywhere... Plus, it's 2003, and more and more workplaces just won't look at someone without a degree. Cutting off most options later, just because he has something now, isn't very smart.

Here's another thought-- pay his tuition, and room and board, and just let him worry about working for living expenses. Getting $30k a year taken care of by someone else is appealing.

Herb Kornfield · 05-28-2003, 05:56 AM

College is great for some people, I just didn?t have the money when I was18 to go and also, I had no real direction. I hadn?t seen what life is really about. What 18 year old really does?

The other side of College that freaked me out was having friends that worked their asses off in school for 4 years as I was out working various sales jobs, these college heads really sacrificed alot to get the degrees and "right" training. Only to come out and not want to be what they studied for all that time.

Life is full of many paths and there isn?t just one right way. Let him do his thing and just suggest from being older and having been thru some shit to say talk to him, not at him.

If they are working on their own today, encourage classes that may compliment what they are doing.

You can also ALWAYS go later in life, take a course at a time and really digest what?s there to learn instead of having to race thru in 4 years. You can learn most of what life throws at you in a book or in a classroom; it just comes with time and being in various situations.

20 years from now you and him will look back at all this and laugh.

StacyCat · 05-28-2003, 06:22 AM

I started college at 17, spring semester of what was my senior year (I had all the credits in december, so didnt have to go any more)

Basicalyl, I got pushed into what my parents wanted me to do, ended up failing out when I didnt like it. I was so sick and tired of school, it didnt do me any good to be in it.

I am lucky enough to work in an industry that schooling isnt that important, I could work my way into the highests rungs with just my high school or associates diploma. I want to jump over most of the pissy stuff, thats why I am going back and getting a masters.

Dont push too hard. But, provide a financial incentive for the avenue that you want them to pursue.

05-27-2003, 11:00 PM	#1
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	GFY parenting 101 (revisited) Your son is graduating. You want him to go to college. He wants to do something else that isn't in his best interests. What do you do? Insist he goes to college even though he doesn't want to? Or let him decide for himself and do what he wants. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

05-27-2003, 11:06 PM	#4
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Even though what he wants to do is a bad decision? __________________ SIG TOO BIG

05-27-2003, 11:07 PM	#5
kristydoll Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: Canadian Prairies Posts: 381	Yes...bad decisions are a way of learning...even if the consequences are tough. __________________ Professional Copy Writing Erotic Story Content

05-27-2003, 11:11 PM	#8
Bake Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Outback of bumfuck Aussie Posts: 5,279	If he dosent want to go it means you fucked uped as parents so let the little selfish prick fend for himself. __________________ Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more. Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per week

05-27-2003, 11:13 PM	#10
titmowse Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: TEXAS Posts: 5,320	i don't envy ya. mine wants to go to college but she wants to go out of state. aaaack! __________________ I still love everybody

05-27-2003, 11:03 PM	#2
washiez Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2001 Posts: 1,118	Let him decide for himself.

05-27-2003, 11:13 PM	#9
nemesis Confirmed User Join Date: Sep 2001 Location: home Posts: 1,335	Buy him a pass to collegefuckfest, he will want to go after seeing those videos.

05-27-2003, 11:15 PM	#12
PersianKitty Meow Media Inc. Industry Role: Join Date: Jul 2001 Location: In the valley of the sun, cactus, tacos, tequila, and nod Posts: 7,785	If you force him to go, he may goof off the whole time and not bother with classes.. waste a semester or a year of someone's money and be no better for it. But do sit down when him and discuss the cold hard facts. To live comfortably in the real world and be competitive in the job market and in life itself, something beyond a high school diploma is necessary. Whether it be voc school, a 2 year college or a 4 year college, or some other training. I'm faced with an 18 (almost 19 year old) graduating in 3 weeks. He has no real clue what he wants to do. He has some ideas, but because of his ADHD diagnosis, the school system has pushed him through even though he can barely read at a 6th grade level. I've battled with the school districts for years and get "no one left behind" slapped in my face. More like an excuse to not work harder to find ways to teach him properly. I just recently came across a new school psychologist who feels that his poor reading, writing and spelling may be due to an occular muscle problem that has never been diagnosed. So in the next few months he has to have some testing done. If it is an occular problem, then I have the school district by the balls. They have a new language program going in at a brand new high school next year. This psych recommended I demand he be allowed in it even though he'll have a diploma. When I told my son, he whined, but he realizes that it's just one class at a school where no one knows him, so they'd have no clue about him. Beyond that he's shown interest in going to a culinary school, selling jewelry, or working with kids (and NO he's not gay). __________________ Wondering what webmaster programs PK uses? Check them out here!

05-27-2003, 11:16 PM	#13
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	I'd send him to Master Taino for some discipline. http://www.mastertaino.com/join_the_family.htm

05-27-2003, 11:17 PM	#14
FATPad Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2001 Posts: 6,693	Would it be better for him to sit in classes all day he hates, failing everything because he doesn't want to be there, or would it be better for him to go do his own thing for a while til he realizes that real life is a bitch and school is not only easier but would help him in the long run? Taking a couple of years off then going back with a renewed desire isn't a bad thing, especially if you really don't want to go right after you graduate high school. __________________ <a href="http://www.adultcontent.co.uk">Adult Content UK - Great British Content</a>

05-27-2003, 11:27 PM	#20
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	The hard part is, I swear he changes his mind three times a week.... it's hard to keep up with what he thinks he wants to do. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

05-27-2003, 11:30 PM	#21
Gutterboy So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Dis Posts: 4,751	Its not an either/or situation. You can do your lay down the law thing.. well sort of.. and tell him exactly what you think, and still let him make his own decision.

05-27-2003, 11:36 PM	#25
Bake Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Jan 2001 Location: Outback of bumfuck Aussie Posts: 5,279	Amp if your really serious make a deal with him 2 weeks of his life your way and then you will leave it up to him. Go out and rent a nice motel room give him plenty of cash to spend like a lot say 1k, Then after that week is up, rent a sleazy room on the wrong side of town and give him 100$ to spend for week. And make him stick it out change the locks on your house if you have to. This may cost you a bit and hopefully the lesson will be learnt. If he doesn?t learn from this maybe college isn?t the answer. __________________ Buy great domains from drunken burned out old webmaster CHEAP bullseyeporn.com art-met.com and more. Learn how to make a easy extra $500 per week

05-27-2003, 11:46 PM	#29
Peter Romero Long time no happy ending Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Location: San Diego CA Posts: 10,578	Talk to him... and shock him by listening. Nobody likes to be told what to do. If you share your experiences with him and tell him what your results were and ask him to decide, he may surprise you - and at least his heart will be in it. __________________ POVCash [email protected] See them all here: http://www.Petergirls.com

05-27-2003, 11:47 PM	#30
Amputate Your Head There can be only one Industry Role: Join Date: Aug 2001 Location: Somewhere else Posts: 39,075	Damn.... 1 down, 2 more kids to go. I may not survive it. __________________ SIG TOO BIG

05-27-2003, 11:54 PM	#36
aflex Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: New Jersey - adaptweb at gmail.com Posts: 3,127	PK: about selling jewelry.. im an apprentice to a master jeweler, learning the business and such (most likely going to G.I.A. this summer to pickup a diamond grading certificate) ... if you have any questions or concerns regarding your son and the jewelry business, feel free to drop me an email : aflex at comcast.net

05-27-2003, 11:59 PM	#37
aflex Confirmed User Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: New Jersey - adaptweb at gmail.com Posts: 3,127	hey amp, about laying down the law and telling him to goto college.. i'd stay away from that, alot of people i goto school with are there just because their parents want them there.. they have no ambition to be taught in a system and it shows.. let him do what he feels is best, with no or less financial support.. eventually he'll see whats needed careerwise in the real world: solid skills / experience, ambition and street smarts, or degrees and certificates.. (in no particular order)

05-28-2003, 12:09 AM	#40
Joe Sixpack So Fucking Banned Join Date: Jul 2002 Location: Australia Posts: 3,793	Let this be a lesson to you all: DO NOT BREED! The most unhappy people I know are parents. Live life for yourself and live it well... only suckers have kids.

05-28-2003, 12:11 AM	#42
KRL Entrepreneur Join Date: Oct 2002 Location: USA Posts: 31,429	Let him decide for himself. __________________ If you would like to develop your domains, you can lease inexpensive foreign labor from the leaders in the field at iWebmasters.com TO LOWER YOUR COSTS AND INCREASE YOUR PRODUCTION! * * * * * * * * * * * * Domains Adult News KRL's Newsletter Biz Tips Just Listed Domains

05-28-2003, 05:22 AM	#47
Project-Shadow Confirmed User Industry Role: Join Date: Feb 2003 Posts: 7,340	Get him to make a porn site

05-28-2003, 05:36 AM	#48
gothweb Confirmed User Join Date: Jun 2002 Location: Back in the USSA Posts: 8,849	It should be obvious that making a child that age do anything, or pushing them to, will simply not work. They can make up their own minds, for better or for worse, at that point. I'm sure we all did. What you can do is try to convince him why getting an education is a good thing. Its a great formative experience, and you can't re-live it the same after you are 18-19... It also means having an education that gives you broad skills you can apply everywhere... Plus, it's 2003, and more and more workplaces just won't look at someone without a degree. Cutting off most options later, just because he has something now, isn't very smart. Here's another thought-- pay his tuition, and room and board, and just let him worry about working for living expenses. Getting $30k a year taken care of by someone else is appealing. __________________ Photos by Ian X.: Distinctive photos of goth babes. Blood Money:Your traffic, my sites, our money. MojoHost: Still the best.

05-28-2003, 05:56 AM	#49
Herb Kornfield Is on the 1 Industry Role: Join Date: Sep 2002 Location: Philly Burbs Posts: 4,996	College is great for some people, I just didn?t have the money when I was18 to go and also, I had no real direction. I hadn?t seen what life is really about. What 18 year old really does? The other side of College that freaked me out was having friends that worked their asses off in school for 4 years as I was out working various sales jobs, these college heads really sacrificed alot to get the degrees and "right" training. Only to come out and not want to be what they studied for all that time. Life is full of many paths and there isn?t just one right way. Let him do his thing and just suggest from being older and having been thru some shit to say talk to him, not at him. If they are working on their own today, encourage classes that may compliment what they are doing. You can also ALWAYS go later in life, take a course at a time and really digest what?s there to learn instead of having to race thru in 4 years. You can learn most of what life throws at you in a book or in a classroom; it just comes with time and being in various situations. 20 years from now you and him will look back at all this and laugh.

05-28-2003, 06:22 AM	#50
StacyCat Confirmed User Join Date: May 2002 Location: Texas Posts: 1,167	I started college at 17, spring semester of what was my senior year (I had all the credits in december, so didnt have to go any more) Basicalyl, I got pushed into what my parents wanted me to do, ended up failing out when I didnt like it. I was so sick and tired of school, it didnt do me any good to be in it. I am lucky enough to work in an industry that schooling isnt that important, I could work my way into the highests rungs with just my high school or associates diploma. I want to jump over most of the pissy stuff, thats why I am going back and getting a masters. Dont push too hard. But, provide a financial incentive for the avenue that you want them to pursue.