blackmonsters

So I'm at the pump, inner lane, and five big police SUVs and trucks came racing into my
face. Lights flashing, they jump out with guns drawn.
Three more police vehicles also converged behind me, completely blocking me in.

"Get your hands up!"

They shouted that about 4 times; in case a dumb mofo couldn't figure it out.

I put my hands up of course, and just sat still in my car.
Then I noticed that all the guns were pointing at the car in the next lane.
So that's when I knew it was not me they were looking for, so I put my hands on the steering wheel.

The cops let me leave after they got the people out of the other car.
The whole thing lasted about 45 seconds before I could leave.
So that's the really good part, that I didn't have to be there for a long time.

No shots fired, no brutality, no bothering innocent people stuck in the middle.
So the police performed at a high standard.

I went home and took 3 shots of vodka.

And NO!!!!
When I left, I didn't even try to mumble

Yo mamma!

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CurrentlySober

Just so I can get the complete picture... Quick question regarding the shit you took at home - Did you bring it with you in the car?

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2 Kings 18:27

mechanicvirus

Did you comply?

Zuzana Designs

Last one ;)

(Verse 1)
Yo, I'm at the pump, inner lane, just chilling,
When five big SUVs, lights flashing, got me reeling,
Jump out with guns drawn, shouting, "Get your hands up!"
Had to comply quick, ain't no time to interrupt.

They shouted it loud, like four times or more,
In case some dumb mofo couldn't figure what's in store,
So I put my hands up, kept cool in my car,
Then realized, all them guns aimed afar.

Not at me, but the car in the next lane,
So I gripped the wheel, no need to explain,
Cops did their thing, got the people outta there,
I dipped in 45 seconds, no need to despair.

(Chorus)
No shots fired, no brutality, just peace,
Police performing, man, they on high release,
Went home, took three shots, just to unwind,
And when I left, didn't mumble, "Yo mamma," not inclined.

(Verse 2)
A smooth operation, no hassle, no fuss,
Just another day, didn't make a big fuss,
Innocent folks spared, stuck in the middle,
Police on point, didn't deviate a little.

Respect where it's due, they held it down tight,
No need for drama, no need for a fight,
So I raise my glass, salute to the law,
For keeping it calm, without a single flaw.

(Chorus)
No shots fired, no brutality, just peace,
Police performing, man, they on high release,
Went home, took three shots, just to unwind,
And when I left, didn't mumble, "Yo mamma," not inclined.

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TheLegacy

If they had to shout at him 4x's then either he was deaf (likely not) or holding the bag of shit wondering how to respond. They likely released him after he smeared it all over the car and his face. Story ends.

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CurrentlySober

Thanks for the confirmation - Im my mind, it was in a clear sealed bag, sitting on the passenger seat. The seatbelt was being used to keep it in place.

The seats in the car were a light tan color, enabling the turd to look its very best, while being proudly displayed on the seat, enjoying its outing in the car...

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2 Kings 18:27

ANAL PASTE

You need to sooooow

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The Porn Nerd

Damn sorry that happened to you!!

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blackmonsters

Another hit by "Grand Zuzana Flash".

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blackmonsters

Quit tripping.
Shit happens.

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blackmonsters

I have to admit that I'm still a bit shaken up.
Gotta lay down, it's been a tough day.

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Zuzana Designs

I wish I could take credit but AI is the real winner ;)

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blackmonsters

Well if you are not taking credit then I change my opinion, and those rhymes sucked.

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blackmonsters

So I went back to the store (after taking a shit , of course).

The store clerk told me the same number of cops were right back this morning.
They were looking for someone.
The guys they corralled yesterday were not the suspect.
The suspect was already inside the store and just stayed inside until the cops left.

So, they did all that and never confronted the actual person they were seeking.

Just gotta love my shit life.

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Zuzana Designs

LOLZ

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pornmasta

Omg, you nearly died 😬

todservices

what is the color of your underwear after that ?
still white ?
or is there a large brown mark ?

Acepimp

Did they demand your ID? No crime, no ID. Ever.

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Webster01

Huggles

My personal favourite cop fuck-up I've seen is when a homeless dude spit in the face of this hipster dude I knew who was a bit of a pacifist, and he pulled out his phone to call the cops and chased the guy up the street yelling, then cops who were on foot stopped him and handcuffed him for "a disturbance" while he was trying to explain the dude he was chasing spit in his face. The homeless guy got away and buddy was handcuffed for like 2 minutes...

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blackmonsters

LOL, that's par for the course.

You call them and you get fucked up.

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escorpio

My alternator went out in rush hour traffic and I was blocking a major intersection. I called the cops and told them what was going on. Fortunately, a righteous hombre helped me move my car into a convenience store parking lot. Twenty minutes later, as I'm waiting for a tow truck, a Pima County PIG shows up and desperately tries to find a reason to take me to jail. NEVER CALL THE POLICE.