Fecal Fiasco

I'm having my doubts about bro actually being sober...

Another one? There was a recent same case on flight from US to Barcelona when someone did not reached lavatory in time so he did it everywhere and as result flight had to go back and change the plane.

Imagine if someone were alpha enough to just get up, clean up the turd in like 30 seconds, wash their hands, and then go and sit back down. Problem solved. It's just a fucking turd.

What's alpha about cleaning somebody else's shit?

The real alpha would be the one that has other people cleaning their shit, no?

Depends... how much does that alpha want their plane to fly?

If you are Donald Trump or of the Trump-adjacent mindset and you're in first class, you might be able to hire some sort of have a minion, or already have a personal assistant with you to clean the shit, only problem is, they're probably scheming too so they will take the money to clean the shit, subcontract it out, then someone else will sell shares of the shit, another will distill it back into water and claim to be saving the environment. But the shit won't get cleaned and the plane won't take off.

You'd have to be so alpha that you'd walk up and scoop the turd into the toilet by hand, wash that off, and return to your seat and begin ordering straight whiskey.